


A Moon Full of Stars and Astral Cars

by AdraCat



Category: Cyberpunk 2077 (Video Game)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Character Study, Corpo V (Cyberpunk 2077), Cyberpunk 2077 Spoilers, F/F, It's not always enough, Judy does her best, Night City and all its misery, Pre-Canon, Slow Burn, brief Judy/Maiko
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:07:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 58,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28433631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdraCat/pseuds/AdraCat
Summary: From the streets of Laguna Bend to the dark underbelly of Night City. From the first highs of discovery to the agonizing pains of loss.Judy Alvarez, in all her past and futures.
Relationships: Judy Alvarez & Evelyn Parker, Judy Alvarez/Female V
Comments: 158
Kudos: 450
Collections: Lizzie's Bar





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This work contains major spoilers for all of Cyberpunk 2077 and especially for Judy's quests. Please read at your own discretion.  
> Many thanks to my beta, johnxfire!

The news was on that night. It whispered through the room amidst static and the faint croon of Etta Sorrentino over the radio. Her grandmother was working diligently by the stove, the clack of her knife constant. There was a rigidity to her frame Judy was unfamiliar with. An image came to mind of MaxTac patrols stalking the streets; armed and garbed in ominous suits of black. Hostile. Faceless. A threat the average citizen could not combat. There was kinship to how her _abuela_ held herself then; the same disquieting disgust for something they barely understood.

In the far corner, the radio continued to hum the lilting tune of _Only You_. Her grandfather sat beside it, eyes focused on the shifting screen of the television. He was disconcertingly still as he watched. Only his fingers moved as he twisted a lit cigarette in his hand.

 _‘_ _—despite recent protests in the area. Local residents have been given a month to vacate their homes before the flooding begins. Compensation has been awarded to any in the affected region, but many still say they will not vacate Laguna Bend.’_

‘ _Been here all my life,’_ a gravelly voice cut cleanly through the static. It was reminiscent of her grandfather’s friend; a thick-set man who let her drive his tractor once. She liked him. ‘ _They want me gone, they’ll need more than a stack of eddies to convince me. I lived here, damn well better die here too.’_

The static flickered briefly. Her _abuelo_ said nothing, but Judy glimpsed a faint tug at the corner of his mouth. His expression cooled once the host’s voice returned.

_‘I think NC Dam Ltd. might just take him up on that.’_

Canned laughter crackled from the speakers. Her grandfather raised the cigarette to his lips. He inhaled, the tip burning molten red. Smoke poured from his nostrils, tangling with his beard. Judy looked away from him as she heard the tap of her grandmother’s shoes. The woman set a plate of colorful mush across from her. Judy winced but hid it neatly behind her book. _Calabacitas._ Again. But she knew better than to complain. Food was scarce enough as it was.

“Set that manual aside, Judy. Dinner time is meant for eating, not reading.” The woman shook her head as she eyed her husband from afar. “Bad enough I have to deal with him. He should have never bought you that book.”

“I think it’s nova. ‘Sides, maybe I can learn somethin’ useful and help _Abue_.” Judy shrugged but obeyed promptly. She jammed her pencil within the pages before carefully setting it atop the table. Her grandmother smiled thinly.

“Maybe one day. For now, I want you to fill your stomach rather than your mind.” Her dark eyes cut to the corner. “The same goes for you. Get off your ass and come eat this meal I broke my back over.”

“Hn. Coming,” Her grandfather grunted shortly. The hum of the screen fizzled into nothing. He rose, stamping out his cig. “Saw Freddy on the tube just now.”

“That _tonto viejo_? What was he doing on there?”

“Croakin' the same shit as always. You know how he can be. News is eatin' it up though. Makes for a good late-night slot, I guess." Judy perked as the man skimmed a hand atop her head. He collapsed on the chair across from her. “I’m starting to see more outlets coverin’ this mess. You would think there would be better things to talk about in the city.”

“A slow day in the city would just mean discussing what murder happened where. It’s nothing new or sensational.” Her grandmother scowled as she portioned out the rest of the dish. “But a town like this? Suddenly you have a story.”

“They’re getting the details wrong. Highlightin’ _our_ stubbornness. _Our_ greed at askin’ for more.” Her grandfather scratched at his silvery whiskers. “Caught some debates the other day. All of ‘em agree we should be happy to take the eddies and run.”

“That’s how they think, _mi amor._ That’s all it comes down to in the end.”

“Lives were built in this town. Families. And soon none of that will matter.” He skidded his fork beneath the mound of zucchini and squash. The leathery hide of his cheeks pulled as he pursed his lips. “A month is not enough time. Nowhere near.”

“We’ll survive. We always have.” Her grandmother fell silent as she looked somewhere over Judy's shoulder. She knew where her eyes would fall. Mother's picture. The only thing they had left of the woman. Judy blinked as dark eyes narrowed.

“You’re not eating, Judy. Get your head out of the clouds and dig in. This meal might be our last for a while.”

“Go easy on ‘er. _Calabacitas_ isn’t my favorite either,” her grandfather said. “Fifth night too. Might go crazy if we don’t get some scop burgers soon.”

“I’ll go crazy if you don’t stop complaining. I’m not wasting an enny on scop and that’s the end of it.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Despite their curt words, a look of understanding passed between them. They smiled and suddenly the weight of their previous discussion vanished. Judy rolled her eyes, nibbling reluctantly upon a piece of zucchini. She glanced at her discarded copy of _Guide to the NET,_ anxious to read. She hadn’t lied. Helping her _abuelo_ was at the fore of her thoughts. But she also wouldn’t mind impressing Jenni Chapman. Judy felt a flush rise to her cheeks as she thought of the other girl. Cute, smart, with a laugh like bells.

Whatever this business with cities and dams wasn’t half as important as that.

* * *

A few days later, her grandfather took her aside as she was playing in the street. _‘Just for a quick chat’_ , he insisted. Her friends stared at her speculatively, hockey sticks idle at their side. Judy was tempted to refuse him; it was the weekend after all. They could talk about whatever it was when she was done. But the rigid set of his jaw indicated this wasn’t going to be like their usual discussions.

Judy wet her lips nervously before nodding. Her grandfather relaxed but the shadow beneath his eyes never lessened. As he led her away, Judy chanced a look behind her. The other kids resumed their game without a beat. The sun drenched their twirling figures, shadows arching across pavement. Far in the distance, the wind-farms spun in the wind – moving ever onward.

Judy looked ahead of her. Her grandfather awaited her beneath the shade of his garage. It was usually a cluttered and disorganized mess, but recently he had taken to packing everything away. She frowned as he struck a match with his boot. He was a nervous smoker, and she knew immediately something was wrong.

“Didn’t want to tell you until it was a sure thing,” he began. “Didn’t want you to stress over nothin’. Thought maybe we could stop it, or put it off for another year. But it didn’t shake out that way.”

His fingers curled into the pocket of his shirt. He shook out a cigarette, gaze not quite settling on Judy properly.

“Town's due to be flooded. From the dam to the NC outskirts. Next month, you won’t even know there was a town here in the first place.”

“Wha––” Judy gripped her hockey stick tight. The wood creaked in her grip. “This is just a shitty joke. _Right, Abue?_ ”

“No joke. They already paid us to leave the land. A pittance, but we don’t get the right to dictate our price tag.” Her grandfather looked at her evenly. “Gotta start packin’, Jude. Essentials only. Clothing, whatever we can reasonably carry.”

“That’s bullshit.” Judy stared at him. “You can’t… We can’t do anything? We can’t protest or talk to the mayor or––”

“Already tried doin’ the former. Didn’t work too good for us. Why you think MaxTac was runnin’ around?” He took a long drag on his cig. His next words were peppered with smoke. “Mayor was the one who signed the order. Supposedly this will clean out the NC water supply. Don’t know how the hell that makes sense but it’s the excuse we were fed. More likely, Laguna Bend is gonna be a dumping ground”

“...That isn’t right.” Judy swallowed hard. She felt very small suddenly, minuscule in the face of things she couldn’t comprehend. “People live here. _We_ live here.”

“I know.”

“It’s bullshit,” she repeated. It came out as a reedy husk, throat pinched with emotion. Her grandfather looked at her knowingly.

“Yeah. It is.” He turned his head towards the street. “But we need to move on. Our home here might fade away but we can always pick up and start over. Time moves in phases, Jude. When one ends, another begins.”

“So we just forget?”

“Not at all. We’ll carry the memory of Laguna with us. No one can take that away.” His light brown eyes creased with his smile. “Take the best parts with you. Keep them close so you can visit them when you like. You still got a few more weeks to make even more.”

“Won’t be the same now,” she murmured in response.

“Maybe so. Could be more meaningful.” Her grandfather nudged her hockey stick with his foot. “Wanna get back to your game? I’m sure they’re waitin’ for you.”

“Don’t want to now. ‘Sides, they looked like they were doing fine without me.” Judy stared up at his grizzled features. “Can… Can we put on the radio and read Dr. Havoc together? I’d rather spend the rest of the day with you and _Abu_.”

The man stilled, searching her face for a long moment. Then he nodded and stamped his cigarette into the dirt.

“Sounds good to me. Where did we leave off anyway? They were in a subterranean outpost somewhere I think…”

That was a few issues ago, but Judy didn't bother to correct him. She watched as he searched the shelves diligently. Sweat poured off his brow, falling into his eyes. He muttered and thumbed the shards. Through the gap between the garage door, Judy heard the faint humming of her _abuela_. An Etta Sorrentino song, as always. The smell of smoke and vegetables clung to the air faintly. And somewhere, beyond the winding street where she lived, a group of kids played in the shadows of rotating giants. All of this would be gone someday. But not today.

Judy leaned against the rusted bumper of her grandfather’s truck and wished she had a way to preserve this moment forever.

* * *

Those final days were like a slow death. Gradual, lethargic, but constant in each moment that passed. Hours were spent with mounting dread. Judy felt like she was clutching at sand, desperate to hold everything but unable to keep it from slipping between her fingers. Her _abuelo_ had been both right and wrong in his assessment. She cherished every second still spent within the town she called home, but it was a bitter feeling. By its nature, temporary. By design, pointless for her to cling to.

It was a unique kind of torture to anticipate the inevitable. Judy might have preferred remaining oblivious until they had to leave. Maybe then she wouldn’t feel like she was already drowning. The other kids didn’t understand why she withdrew from their games. Henry Mitchell, the pug-nosed gonk, had snidely remarked maybe she was too poor to afford a new stick. Barry Nguyen had tried to defend her but was quickly silenced beneath the jeers of the others. Judy hadn't minded. She was used to them taking the piss on her. It's not like she had expected them to care. What did smart was Jenni's dismissal.

Judy had wanted to spend more time with the girl. Once the flood arrived, she wasn’t sure where their lives would lead. So she desired to make the most of their time together, maybe explain why she had teased her so viciously when they were younger. Jenni hadn’t wanted to hear it. She didn’t give her a chance. She had just looked at Judy with those pretty almond eyes before saying, ‘ _We’re not friends, Alvarez.’_ And that was the end.

Judy didn’t cry over it. Only wusses would tear up over something so small. But she carried that hurt with her until the last day. Not over Jenni’s rejection alone, but the realization that no one would miss her. Maybe they knew about Laguna too and didn’t even care. Maybe she was the only one who felt like her world was caving in on itself. As Judy piled into her grandfather’s truck – all their belongings strapped tight to the bed – she took one last look at her home.

It was small and modest compared to the other houses in the area. The roof leaked in the spring and the winter drafts always seemed to find a way to her room. The kitchen floor had a perpetual crack right beside the back door. Judy had tripped over it more times than she could count. Yet this imperfect place was all she knew. Now they would need to find a new home. It was like her _abuelo_ said. Life moved in phases, and the next phase was just around the corner in Night City. Judy placed a hand to the window as they drove along familiar streets. She tried to burn this image in her mind and not think of how it might look consumed by water.

They entered the city limits at noon. The sun reflected endlessly across towering structures of glass. Metal behemoths roared above and below, shaking the world in rolling gasps. The roads were cluttered, noisy with cars of varying size. They sped by like darting wasps and Judy flinched back when they veered too close. Her first impression of Night City was that it was loud and chaotic. It was a jarring change from the languid pulse of Laguna Bend. Only a smattering of miles between, yet the difference was vast. Might as well be a different world entirely. The thought stayed with her as they entered their new dwelling. It was a compact apartment in a towering obelisk. Judy marveled at the building’s scale.

“Mega-arcologies they call them,” her grandfather had muttered upon entering. “You can fit the entirety of Laguna and then some on a small plot.”

 _“_ No better than a cage,” her grandmother had responded. She eyed the differing levels with blatant disgust. “Refuse everywhere. Food, waste, people; all piled together in one indistinct slop.”

“We’ll find better later,” the man promised. Judy said nothing. She clutched her grandmother’s hand tighter.

Their home in Laguna had been small. Tiniest one in the entire neighborhood. Judy had been teased for it by the other kids incessantly. Their new apartment was impossibly smaller. Only one room proper existed throughout, kitchen utility taking up the west wall. The bathroom was compact, toilet and shower stall nearly touching. None of it looked clean. Her grandmother’s scowl deepened the longer they stayed.

That night they talked very little. _Abuela_ busied herself with scouring the kitchen appliances while her _abuelo_ smoked by the window. He stared at the fluctuating landscape, arms hanging over the sill. Judy couldn’t see his expression, but the hard line of his shoulders said plenty. It became a familiar pattern – grandmother’s simmering temper, grandfather's silence, Judy's waffling uncertainty. She didn't know how to make it better. But she did what she could because while her grief was great it must have been far harder for them.

As the months passed, Judy thought she might finally adjust to this strange new place. Yet she never did, and neither did her grandparents. Her _abuelo_ was able to get employment doing freelance maintenance. It paid very little but it was enough to put some food on the table. Judy didn’t think he liked it very much. He often came home tired, cigarette already between his lips. The man never spoke of what he did, but Judy doubted it was the same as fixing radios and cars like back in Laguna. As for her _abuela_ , the woman took up washing dishes for various restaurants in the megabuilding. Her hands were pink and raw once she returned, but she never uttered a word of complaint.

It wasn’t an easy life to lead. Judy knew that. For all their problems in Laguna Bend, they never struggled this hard to stay afloat. And when Judy thought of those days, she realized how simple it had been. Things she had once bemoaned seemed insignificant by comparison to the oppressive weight of living in the city. They weren’t bringing enough money to put her in school either, so she did nothing but read her grandfather’s worn paperbacks. Very little of their old life remained, but they kept the radio. As _Only You_ played in the dark Judy yearned for the return of a life long gone.

A year after they arrived in Night City, the holding pattern began to give. Her _abuelo_ came home one night in a lather, cursing rapidly. Words Judy didn’t know the meaning of poured out of his mouth. It was uncharacteristic of him, and she didn't know what to think of it. Her _abuela_ took his hand before leading him to the bathroom. They spoke in hushed voices, low enough that Judy had to press her ear against the door.

_“––ut me loose. Concerns about my health? My memory? Fucker just about called me senile.”_

_“You know he’s blowing hot air. You’re the best hand he has.”_

_“It’s already done. That smug fuck Jenkins told me to delete his contact. I’m gone and now I gotta find something else to pay the bills. Rent’s due in a week. The hell are we going to do?”_

_“I saw an ad in paper for an engineer. Militech, but maybe––"_

_“You want me to work for a corp? I don’t got the right background and sure as hell not the right education. Even if they did take me I'm not willin’ to ignore what they do. Don’t ask that of me.”_

_“Just consider it, please. Judy could go to school, get a good job. They’d pay for all of that.”_

_“Won’t be worth it. It never is.”_ Her grandfather’s tone was firm, brokering no argument. Their voices faded and Judy knew the conversation was done. Her grandmother’s will was iron, but so was his. He wouldn’t budge on this, no matter the stakes. Judy peeled away from the door. She slid beneath the pile of blankets that served as her bed. As she laid there, the flickering lights of Night City haloing her frame, her mind whirled. No one would hire a fourteen-year-old girl without any experience to speak of. Nothing she'd be comfortable with doing anyway. But maybe… Judy closed her eyes and considered the building residents one by one – those she knew, and those who might need an extra tech-savvy hand.

The next day she spent knocking on every door on their floor. Judy knew most of the people in passing, but not in any meaningful way. The scop dog stand owner, the elderly woman with the chrome fingers, the veteran with the fully cybernetic legs, and many more besides. It wasn’t hard to convince people once you proved yourself. The great majority of people could not afford repairs on tech; most shops charged sky-high rates just for simple replacement parts. Labor was another story entirely. Judy knew this well from the incessant complaints she heard from her _abuelo_.

So when an offer came along to do the work at a quarter of the cost, who would pass up the chance? It helped that most people knew her grandfather from reputation alone. Everyone on their floor knew that if you wanted a trustworthy wrench, you call on Alvarez.

The first roll of eddies she got came from a simple wiring fix on a holo TV. The next by installing a new screen on an apartment buzzer. Small, near inconsequential things. But it was stuff most people didn’t know how to correct themselves. Judy had that knowledge courtesy of her grandfather, and she was glad for it. In a handful of days, Judy had amassed more money than she had ever seen. She placed it in an empty kibble box with her other personal items, counting it furtively with every job completed.

Then one day she set the box atop her grandfather’s lap. It was late at night and the man was sitting by the window, watching the traffic fly by. He frowned at the box with confusion before meeting her expectant stare.

“What is this, Jude?”

“What I’ve been doing while you’ve been working," Judy answered. "Go on. Look inside."

He raised a bushy brow before stomping out his cig. Then he peeked inside the box. His face paled before he hissed like a snake. He shoved the box away, eyes dark with alarm.

“Where did you get this?! Don’t tell me you’ve been stealing. You know better than––”

“I didn’t steal it! I swear.” Judy bristled, offended at the suggestion. “I earned these eddies. Just like you and _Abu_.”

“Don’t lie to me girl.”

“I’m not. You can ask everyone on this floor if you don’t believe me.”

“Excuse me?” His brows drew together as he stared at her. She crossed her arms, unflinching beneath his scrutiny.

“I asked around if people needed their stuff fixed. They were all too happy to pay me when I proved I could do it too. All they had to do was provide the parts and I do the hard bit. Didn’t need permission from some third party asshole either.”

Rather than relief or gratitude, her grandfather's face crumpled with pain. He rubbed his eyes with both hands.

"Oh, _Jude…_ you have no idea what you’re doing. We could get away with that in Laguna because we all knew each other. We were a community. Here? There are rules and you’re breakin’ too many for this to go unnoticed.”

“What’s the difference? Work is work. Why should anyone care who gets it done?” Judy frowned.

“Work isn’t just work. It’s an opportunity. And you’re takin’ it from someone else.” The man ran a hand through his thinning hair. “Night City isn't the kind of place where you can make a buck without drawing attention."

“Are you saying I’ll get in trouble for this?”

“I’m saying you need to be careful, Jude. Why do you think I was working for Jenkins? He could secure jobs without me fearing the wrong eyes eyeing us in the street.” Her grandfather stared at the box pensively. "Not the quickest way, but it's the safest. How many people hired you?"

“Not too many. Had a lot of repeats.” Judy deflated. “It was just people from our floor. Do you really think someone would get mad about that?”

“Everything is part of someone’s territory. That’s just how the city works.” She watched as he appeared to mull something over quietly. He tossed another glance at the concealed stash of eddies. “Scratch like that will get people talkin’. But it’s enough to keep a roof over our heads for now. Just… don’t go doing somethin’ like this again. You shouldn’t be concerned with rent.”

“I live here too, don’t I?”

“Sure do.” He offered a smile, but it was painfully thin. “Just concentrate on your books. Tell you what, anything left over goes to getting you a terminal. I know I caught you lookin’ at that one in the pawn.”

“Yeah, but that won’t help you and _Abu_.” Judy blinked as her grandfather leaned forward. He patted her hair affectionately and she could smell the soothing aroma of his aftershave.

“Maybe not, but it’ll keep you from havin’ idle hands. Who knows? Maybe you’ll learn something valuable cruisin’ the net.” Her grandfather rose, but she did not miss the glance he took at the kibble box. His jaw worked, the apple of his throat bobbing. Then he shook his head before slipping atop the mattress he shared with her _abuela_. Judy chose not to follow. She looked over the city, eyes following the perpetual flash of neon and halogen.

* * *

Eventually, their fortune began to change. Slow and steady like the creek that used to appear behind their shed after a hard rain. In the fall, her _abuelo_ befriended a man who ran a diner, and that led to an introduction to a local cyberdeck shop. They hired him to test for flaws and backdoors in the software. Netrunners were a constant fear for the small business owners who couldn’t afford the latest security. It was a lucky break for them all. Gradually, after weeks of guaranteed income, the family crawled out of poverty.

Judy began filling out her clothes once more and could no longer mistaken for a reed-thin boy. Food became a nightly certainty, the nagging emptiness of starvation a distant threat. Small luxuries such as scented soaps and low-grade electronics became open to them, and for her 16th birthday, Judy received a nicer terminal than the one she salivated over just a few months ago. Her _abuela_ could even afford to quit her shifts. Then, towards the end of their second year, they finally moved to a larger apartment across town. None of them would miss the megabuilding, and Judy could see a palpable tension leave her _abuela_ as they left it behind. However – for all these great blessings – they were still not happy.

Judy could feel their melancholy in everything they did. Within the words that went unspoken and the long periods of stillness that filled their new apartment. Her grandmother never hummed as she did in Laguna Bend. Her grandfather still smoked every day without pause. They never talked about their problems within earshot of her, but there would be meaningful looks traded above her head that Judy chose to ignore. On one occasion, she found her terminal open to a page she was unfamiliar with.

It was a listing for land somewhere in Oregon. And behind that was a quick search on nomad convoys. Judy hadn’t known what to think about it all, but she had a feeling another change was fast upon her. She was proven right only a week later as her _abuela_ sat her down to talk.

“Night City isn’t for us, _hija,_ ” the woman began. She leaned over the stove, salting dinner. “We’re not built for it. It’s time we left and sought a new home for ourselves.”

“In Oregon?” Judy asked, remembering what she had found. Her grandmother nodded.

“Your _abuelo_ met a nomad family who will be traveling that way. They leave in a couple of months. Plenty of time to muster the funds." She paused, stirring something upon the skillet. "It's not an opportunity that comes often. Whatever friends you've made, you should tell them you'll be leaving soon."

 _Yeah, right. Like I have any._ Judy bit her tongue. There were a few kids who lived in the same building, but they didn’t like her much. It had been the same in Laguna. At least there they had all grown up in the same streets. These city-bred ganger wannabes had little in common with her. One of them even had the brass to make a pass at her, but a knee to the groin solved that problem. The boy still eyed her spitefully when he thought she wasn’t looking.

“I’ll do that,” Judy said anyway. Her grandmother relaxed and her mouth slanted into a genuine smile. It was a rare occurrence, but growing steadily more frequent. She took the skillet from the stove and walked to Judy.

“The lady who runs the food stall in Kabuki had a few imported goods from Canada. She was kind enough to part with some zucchini.” A colorful and fragrant mass of _calabacitas_ slid into her plate. The smell reminded her of those distant days in Laguna. Judy felt her throat tighten.

“The onions are synthetic but everything else is organic,” her grandmother continued. “I know this dish isn’t your favorite––”

“It’s perfect, _Abu_.” Judy grabbed her fork and dug into the meal. The taste was just as she remembered. “I love it.”

The days that followed this lazy afternoon were blissful. It was easily the best week Judy had while living in Night City. With the news that they would be leaving soon, a palpable excitement followed her every step. She couldn’t wait for this time in her life to be only a vague memory. Until then, Judy was content to busy herself with her various hobbies. Tinkering with broken appliances and discarded tech was at the top. She made some quick eddies by doing this too, though she was sure her grandfather would have insisted she stop.

But this wasn’t the same as before. It wasn’t like she was asking people hire her directly. This was all garbage people left in the streets, blind to their true worth. If Judy had a keen eye and a knack for flipping trash into treasure, it was no one’s business but hers. Then, beneath a collapsed bridge near their apartment complex, Judy saw it.

A fire truck; discarded and clearly in massive disrepair. The inside was filthy, countless years of neglect taking their toll. Yet when Judy took a look at its guts she found that it wasn’t completely unsalvageable – would turn no small amount of scratch either if flipped. And as she dug deeper into its bowels, noting what parts needed to be gutted and which could be saved, an idea sparked. It took her some time before she found all the right replacement parts. Bringing a large machine like this to life took great patience. Yet she stood triumphant in the end.

The truck was missing a glossy coat of paint, but everything else was preem-tier. You could hardly tell the difference between it and something off the factory floor. Might have been a hard project, but as Judy gripped the chrome wheel between her fingers she knew it had been worth it. The fire department would pay a pretty enny to have this beauty on the beat. And even if _they_ didn’t want it, some corpo collector would probably shell out. Vintage pieces usually soared into the thousands, and if she got half of what she estimated then they would be set for a while.

Judy grinned, eager to show her _abuelo_. But as with everything in Night City, her plans soon burned to ash. Only a day after the work was completed, Judy found herself beset by the NCPD. Four patrol cars surrounded the fire truck in a snarling roar of sirens. A lone officer shouted from behind the slick armored door of his vehicle. Judy couldn't make out the words, but she knew he wasn’t playing around.

Unwilling to set off their itchy trigger fingers, Judy stumbled from the truck. Two other officers rushed her down, pressing her hard against the metal frame. Their hands were cold and invasive as they pat her down. Then she was slapped into cuffs and slammed into the ground. She coughed, wind ripped from her lungs.

“Reported stolen vehicle found,” she heard from somewhere in the distance. “Corner of 3rd and Fredrickson. Female suspect, likely affiliated with the Valentinos. No weapons in sight, but could be in the truck.”

 _Stolen?_ Judy stilled. Ice flooded her chest.

“I didn’t steal anythin’!” She tried to raise her head but the officer at her back forced her into the dirt. Judy sputtered through a mouthful of foul tasting muck. “That truck was rotting beneath the overpass before I got here. I just fixed it up! I swear I didn’t––”

“Quiet.” A boot struck her sharply in the temple. The impact rattled her teeth. Her ears rang as she was dragged to her feet. “Put her in the car. No records on file, might be a nomad but there’s no ruling out gang involvement. Get the Padre on the holo and see if he recognizes her.”

Dazed, Judy was barely aware of them dragging her away. Something wet trickled into her eye when she tried to focus. As she was tossed into a patrol car, Judy caught a glimpse of three people observing from afar. She recognized them as the boys from her apartment complex. Judy bit her cheek until it bled. Her hands twisted into the tail of her shirt.

 _They_ had done this; probably followed her each day she worked on the truck, looking for a chance to cut her down. Judy bowed her head and tried to keep herself from passing out. Her eyes burned as she thought of her grandparents. What the hell was she going to do now?

* * *

“Do you work for the Valentinos?”

Judy stared at the table in front of her. She pursed her lips. After a long pause, a cybernetic hand tapped the screen embedded on the table surface. An elderly man she didn’t recognize appeared.

“Know him? Don’t try to lie, that wire in your head is more than just for show. Militech standard issue, can spot even the intent to lie within milliseconds of the urge forming.” She could feel the cop’s eyes dissect her from where she sat. Judy didn't need a fancy-ass machine to know what he was thinking.

“Never seen him before,” she replied curtly. It was true. Judy had little interest in exploring the inner workings of Night City. He could have been the mayor and Judy would have been none the wiser. The cop frowned but didn’t challenge her on it. He tapped something on his terminal before diving into another question.

“I’ll ask again. Do you claim affiliation to the gang known as the Valentinos?”

“This isn’t Heywood. And I sure as hell don’t run with no gangers.” Judy raised her chin, bristling. “And screw you for askin’. I’m sure you think we’re all the same, but me and my grandparents work honestly. I wasn’t doing anything illegal before you took me in.”

“That’s a matter of perspective,” the cop commented. He cut the link tethering her to the device, jacking out of her implant. His movements weren’t gentle and she flinched in response. “You’re running on old soft. Decade behind too. Explains why we’re getting only static. That on purpose?”

“Lived in a small, nobody town just outside the limits. We didn’t get much nice tech, and only second-hand junk when we did." Judy glowered at the man. "If my implant doesn't cooperate with that thing it's 'cause I’m poor, not 'cause I’m a criminal.”

“There’s very little difference.” His tone changed into something aggravatingly flippant. The cop rose to his feet. “Unfortunately since we can't confirm the details we'll have to judge by the evidence we do have. We checked your records and found no prior history of theft, but three people in your apartment have all claimed you had sticky fingers. The vehicle in question is unrecorded, but the parts are unmistakably new––"

“Because I put them there!” Judy tried to lift her wrists from the table. The restraints dragged them back with a snap. “ _Fuck._ Those guys have had it out for me since we met. They won’t tell you the truth. Just take a closer look at the truck and you’ll see I’m not lying!”

“I’ve seen all I need to. And so does the city.” The man clicked his tongue. “You’ll pay your debt working off the retail value of the truck. You’re lucky you’re a juvenile. Couple more years and they wouldn’t be so lenient.”

“Retail…? The damn thing was rusted to shit when I got to it.”

“Well it isn’t now. Don’t worry. You’ll be given a few options.” His smile was grating, hard and unpleasant like everything else in this station. Suddenly, the cop’s eyes flashed blue. “...But before we go over them it seems like you got a couple visitors. Five minutes. Don’t dawdle.”

He took his leave without a backward glance. Judy hunched in her chair, fingers twitching in the table cuff. Her jaw locked when she heard someone gasp. She would know that voice anywhere.

“Judy!” Her abuela rushed forward. The older woman clutched her tight before pulling away to inspect her face. She hissed with displeasure. “ _Cabrones_. They struck you?! Tell me their names.”

“No, _Abu_ , please…” Judy looked up at her grandmother, pleading. “Don’t make a fuss. It won’t matter anyway. You know that.”

“Judy is right.” Her _abuelo_ strode near, his frame coming into view. His features were lined from stress, expression pinched in a way hardly ever witnessed. The purple bags beneath his eyes seemed to grow the longer he looked at her. “They won’t care if some criminal gets roughed during arrest. If she complains they’ll just say she was resisting.”

Her grandmother didn’t seem appeased, but she didn’t offer another complaint. She withdrew to stand by her husband's side as he sat where the cop used to be. Judy shifted nervously under the look her _abuelo_ gave her.

“Did you do it?” was all he asked. Judy blinked at him, surprised he needed to ask. It hurt that he considered her capable of theft, but she knew it must be hard to sort the truth from whatever fiction the police spun.

“No. I found the truck in a scrapheap under that ruined overpass. The one near the Buck-a-Slice? It must have been there for a decade at least, but I cleaned it out and got it running again.” She searched his face, trying to discern his reaction. Her grandfather’s features didn’t change, but his hand curled atop the table.

“You were flippin’ electronics, weren’t you? That why you were out there?”

Judy didn’t answer. She avoided his prying look. After a tense moment, she heard him exhale slowly.

“What’s done is done. Can’t change anythin’ now. Luckily you’re still under eighteen so they can’t charge you at maximum.” He ran a hand over his head, more scalp than hair now. He had aged greatly since they came to Night City. It pained Judy to see how much it took its toll on him. “They already told me what they’re likely going to offer you. It’s not a bad deal, considering everything.”

“If she isn’t guilty she shouldn’t need to take it. Judy owes them nothing.” Her _abuela_ stiffened, eyes flashing with fire. Wroth poured from her visibly as she clutched her husband’s shoulder. “If they insist, then we’ll get a lawyer. We have enough saved for a decent one.”

“What?” Judy stared at her. “The eddies are supposed to be for the nomads. To get us to Oregon.”

“Oregon can wait, _hija_. Keeping you out of the system is more important.”

Months of hard work, planning, and preparation – all of it gone in a blink. Judy shut her eyes. This was no idle claim either. The woman would shake this city apart if it meant keeping Judy with them. But could she really allow that to happen? She peered at her grandfather. The man was still eyeing her calmly; waiting.

“ _Abue_ , what did they tell you I was looking at?”

“You would need to pay off the potential cost of the truck," he answered. "But they're willing to make a few concessions. You won't face time in prison, only a two-year stint in a group home. Most likely they’ll put you to hard work. You’ll be on probation of course. Leavin’ the city just won’t be possible.”

“They expect me to make all those eddies back in two years?"

“Some of it. After the two years are up you’ll be free to roam the streets. From there you’ll need to keep up with the monthly payments the city demands.” Her grandfather hesitated briefly. “...It won’t be easy, Jude. I’m not sure whether anyone will take our case or if a judge would listen. However, I’m willing to try.”

Judy pressed her teeth together hard. Her jaw ached beneath the strain. Despite everything, they would stay in a city they loathed just to protect her. Two years at the minimum, countless as the max. All in the name of fixing her screw up. She thought of the exhaustion and wear Night City brought them. She remembered the nights they spent in melancholic silence, her _abuelo_ smoking one cig after another while her _abuela_ scrubbed at floors that would never truly be clean. Judy rubbed her eyes, knowing she could never subject them to more of this. Not because of her. Not when they were so close to freedom.

“No… I don’t want you to.” Judy met their eyes evenly. Her voice grew in strength as she continued. “I want you to keep the money and pay the nomads. You’ve been planning this move to Oregon for a while. I don’t want to get in the way of that.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Her grandmother scowled. “We’re not going to leave you here. We can fight this!”

“You can’t. City won’t let you, _Abu_. I think you know that.” Judy leaned forward as much as she could as she stared up at them. “Listen, they’re hard up on pinnin’ this on me. So that’s what they’ll get. Two years is nothing big. Once that's over, all I gotta do is make my payments."

“You’re oversimplifying, Jude,” her grandfather said. “It’s no small amount of scratch. With us here we could help you pay it off quicker.”

“Don’t need to be here to do that. You can wire me anything you like from Oregon. Nomads don’t drive up there too often. Who knows when you’ll get the opportunity again?” Judy stretched her fingers across the metal surface. They brushed against the side of his palm. He took her wordless invitation and held her hand. Her wrist chafed against the restraints but she smiled through it. “Let me do this. It was my gonk mistake, so I should be the one to fix it.”

“You never were good at leavin’ things be,” her _abuelo_ husked. His eyes were wet but he quickly blinked the moisture away. “We’ll organize things with the nomads. I’ll tell you before we leave.”

“What are you saying? We can’t leave without Judy!” Her grandmother’s eyes darted between the two. She pulled her hand away and took several steps backward. Judy watched as her _abuelo_ stood and clutched the woman’s arms.

“Judy is right. Another chance like this won’t come again.”

“So we just abandon her in this cesspool of a city?!”

“You’re not abandoning me. I _want_ you to go,” Judy insisted. She tried to meet the older woman’s stare, hoping her sincerity could be felt. “I fucked up, _Abu_. And I don't want to ruin anything else. Honestly, you getting out of this place for good would make me happier than you staying."

“You’re speaking madness. Both of you.”

“It won’t be forever. When my debt is paid, I can find a way to where you are.” Judy attempted to smile. It was stilted, cracked lips and bruising making the gesture painful. Yet she didn’t allow it to falter. “Two years and change. It’s not so bad when you think about it.”

Her grandmother didn’t look convinced. She gave them a steely stare before stalking out of the room. Her grandfathersighed. Judy looked into his wrinkled face as he put a consoling hand atop her back. Then he followed after his wife with an even stride. The next day, she got a holo-message saying they would be leaving by the end of the week. Judy anticipated as much. And as she stared at the cold walls of her cell it comforted her to think of them driving along an endless road with no cityscape in sight.

* * *

Judy didn’t know what life would be like in the group home. The books and shard pamphlets she had read all made it sound like a wonderful alternative to prison, like a camp for misbehaving children. The reality was that it wasn’t too dissimilar. Their supposed caretakers were still correctional officers. They were still put to backbreaking work on assemblies day after day. Their schedules were rigidly defined things with little opportunity for privacy.

The rooms were barely more than cramped cubicles below an austere building with electrified fences. NCPD drones patrolled the halls with unnerving frequency and cameras marked every corner. Judy felt more like a caged rat than a person, but she supposed that was the point. At the end of the day, they were just faceless criminals with a convenient number to organize them by. Age be damned. It wasn’t all bad though. The armored goons who served as their overseers didn’t interact with them directly. They preferred to let the drones keep order at the point of tasers and tranq guns.

Judy preferred it that way too. She would rather face an emotionless machine than a human with dubious intentions. She wasn’t stupid. There were far worse things to fear in a place of unequal power. So long as the officers kept their distance, she had very little to worry about. On the rare occasions when the group home ‘residents’ could stretch their legs, most kept to themselves. Judy did the same. Drawing attention was a recipe for getting your ass tossed around. The drones might not look intimidating at first but she saw what happened when a few gonks pushed their boundaries.

With their lack of agency and the constant scrutiny they faced it was hard to form camaraderie. That suited Judy fine. She wasn’t here to make friends after all. Still, it could be unbearably lonely at times. For so long she had her grandparents by her side. It was difficult to live in this sterile and hostile place without them. However, there were a few kids she was on friendly terms with. One of them was a techie like her, thrown in here for netrunning into some Arasaka owned shop. Georgie was his name _._ Apparently, he just wanted to change the radio station they played into something other than _Body Heat._

_“Wasn’t tryin’ to give ‘em a scare or steal shit,” he told her as they ate their worm burgers. “Just got tired of that damn song. You know the one? Ponpon this, ponpon that? Drove me fuckin nuts!”_

He was a little over-excitable maybe, but Judy thought he was good people. His story was similar to her own too. That was the case for the vast majority of people here she'd wager. Then one day, Georgie tugged her aside as they were mopping the bathrooms. She nearly thought he was trying to pull something before he fished out a metallic object from under his shirt. Judy just squinted at his hands, not comprehending.

“It’s a wreath,” he clarified. “Preem stuff already downloaded too. I got my uncle to smuggle this in for me.”

“Wreath? That the thing people use to interface with virtus?”

“Sure is, but you can use it for better shit too.” Georgie gave her a gap-toothed grin. “I’m talkin’ braindances, Judy! They blow prepackaged virtus out of the water. Full sensory recall, visceral action. It’s all here! Wanna give it a whirl?”

“Should we really be doing this right now? You know the cams are still recording.”

“My uncle already settled things. He’s Maelstrom so the guards will look the other way today. No one wants them comin’ to wreck the place over somethin’ so small.” Georgie flipped the wreath in his hands before setting it atop his brow. Then he sat on the floor, mindful of the mop bucket. “Here, I’ll go first. Just need to grant access… there!”

A series of bright flashing lights erupted from the tiny pads jutting from the wreath. They cascaded over his face like a veil of white. Judy crossed her arms, observing as the boy’s eyes flashed before glazing. His body was limp, head bowing to his chest. A few minutes passed in silence. Judy eyed the door nervously, anticipating a drone coming to tase them into the floor. But one never came. After a time Georgie finally began to stir. The lights dimmed as he opened his eyes.

“Well?” She prodded after he tugged off the wreath. The boy wrinkled his nose.

“Was alright. Kinda pussy shit compared to some things you can see.” Georgie shrugged gamely before tossing it to her. “See for yourself. Still nova as hell if you’ve never done it.”

Judy fumbled with the device, inspecting it front to back. She had heard about this technology and understood it in theory. But she’d never dove into a braindance first hand. From what she had heard on the net, it was an indescribable experience. A way to preserve someone else’s memory and play it back for others to see and feel. Judy would be lying if she said the idea wasn't intriguing. With hesitant fingers, she placed the wreath around her ears.

“Gotta let it interface with your optics. Jack in directly," Georgie commented helpfully. Judy followed his instructions. The wreath hummed gently and she could feel it sync with her implant. Then the lights began to flash and the stark white walls of the bathroom faded away.

 _Judy blinked, or was it_ _**they** _ _who were blinking? She was descending somewhere. Falling maybe, but it was a slow and gradual. As if gravity was barely affecting her. She couldn’t tell where she was. There was an endless stretch of black all around her. And as the person’s hand reached out Judy realized why she felt so weightless. The person was underwater, diving deep into a maw of pitch. Bubbles floated past and Judy worried they might be drowning. But she could feel them breathing still. In and out._

_Judy relaxed, allowing herself to enjoy the experience more now that she knew the person wasn’t dying. They floated downward at a steady pace until they reached the sandy floor. Hard and spiky structures greeted them there; some a pale pink color others white as bone. Suddenly, gelatinous masses began to appear from the abyss. They twirled long noodle-like appendages, skin gauzy and translucent. Judy stared at them in awe. Or could it be the recorder’s awe? It was hard to tell the difference._

_Then the person looked at their feet. Tiny specks of something darted between their legs. Judy didn't know what she was seeing at first. Realization dawned when bigger figures joined them. These were fish. Of varying size and coloration but Judy was sure this is what she was witnessing. She had seen them in old books, diagrams from a world that now only existed in virtu documentaries. Yet here they were, alive._

_Judy wanted to wander closer; maybe to see if she could touch them for herself. But that wasn’t how braindances worked and she could feel the faint twinge of something like finality. The person was done recording. As they began to disconnect Judy was thrown back to reality._

The bright lights of the bathroom blinded her. She blinked rapidly, trying to adjust. The wreath flickered before becoming nothing more than an inert piece of metal atop her head. Judy took it off before meeting Georgie’s eager smile.

“So? What’d you think?”

She hesitated, eyes falling to the wreath once more. It was warm from use and the contrast reminded her of the cold depths of what was most likely the ocean. But the cold hadn’t been sharp or unwelcome. Rather…

“It was alright.” Judy handed the wreath back to him. She hoped he didn’t notice her shaking hands. He’d know something was up then. “Felt like there was a wall between me and the scroller. Like the edge of their feelings had been blunted. They all like that?”

“Most of the ones I’ve seen, yeah.” Georgie looked a bit disappointed. He rubbed the tip of his nose idly. “Think my uncle held back on me. I know he must have some raw shit at hand. Guess he didn’t want to get in trouble with my mom or somethin’.”

“Guess so.” Judy turned away from him, grabbing her mop. “You know, it did get me thinking. Wonder if I could cut out that fizz, amp up their impressions. It probably won’t be hard either. Only need to blend it just right.”

“You wanna get into tuning?” Georgie laughed. “Knew it caught your attention.”

“I just think I could do it better than whoever pieced that track together.”

“Whatever you say, Judy girl.” The boy tucked the wreath away before nudging her shoulder. “There are places you could learn though. I hear technicians make big stacks too. Could be your ticket to payin’ off that debt of yours.”

Judy rolled her eyes, but the notion stuck. It ran in her head, digging deep into the meat of her.

“Maybe.”

That night, just before she fell asleep, Judy mulled over the sensations she felt during the BD. The slow drift of her body below water. The blanket of darkness that covered it all. The odd stillness that was both serene and terrifying in its mystery. And then, the break in the calm – living creatures thriving in a place no one else could reach them. There was comfort to be had there; a reminder that not everything vanishes below the surface. She found peace in this and dreamed she was a fish swimming through the sunken streets of Laguna Bend.

* * *

The endless march of days blurred together, work and sleep passing them with ease. In the rare moments she got to herself, Judy was preoccupied with her new obsession. The group home residents were not allowed access to the net for obvious reasons. But they could request shards if they stayed on good behavior. There wasn't a wealth of information to be had on the technical aspects of BDs. Still, Judy read what she could and tried to piece together the rest. Georgie didn't seem to mind her taking the wreath now and then. She had a feeling he was amused by her dogged interest more than anything. That suited Judy just fine, especially when she got to fiddle with the wreath's innards.

When the time came for her freedom, Judy was taken by surprise. Two years had passed quicker than expected. Soon a stack of clauses was shoved at her and she was shuffled out the door with a correctional tracker. A probation officer would visit her monthly to make sure she complied with their demands, but it was a small price to pay for freedom. As Judy stepped into the streets, noisy and chaotic as ever, she felt a surge of relief. Prior irritation at the city’s bustle was replaced with a keen appreciation. It was a far cry from the too silent halls of the group home.

The first thing she did upon being released was visit her favorite diner and chow down on a scop burger. She had thought it somewhat flavorless before, but compared to the group home food it was perfection. The diner itself hadn’t changed much in two years. Very little in Watson had in truth. The major difference was her grandparents would no longer greet her after the day ended. Judy frowned at her plate of soy fries, but didn’t let the thought discourage her. All she needed to do was make the scratch and then she’d truly be free. Only twenty-thousand more eddies to go.

Judy wasn’t without means or valuable skills. Perhaps she didn’t have a formal degree of any kind but that was only necessary for those worming their way up the corporate ladder. She made money before she got locked away. She could do it again with enough time and effort. And Judy had both in spades.

“It’s wonderful to hear you again, _hija_ ,” her grandmother spoke over the holo. The older woman looked noticeably lighter; the constant stress nowhere to be seen at present. She smiled brightly. It wasn’t as broad as it had been in Laguna, but it heartened Judy nonetheless. Time away from the city had done her good. “We were able to set aside some money for you. It's not much, but it should get you through the next few months. Plenty of time to get you on your feet."

“We can start sendin’ more by the end of the year,” her grandfather chimed in. His head peeked into view. The color of his beard had faded to a steel grey, but the corners of his eyes appeared creased with laughter rather than exhaustion. “Anything to get you here as quick as possible. No complaints!”

“We spoke to Maria yesterday. Do you remember her? The owner of our old apartment.” Her _abuela_ paused before elaborating quickly. "She's willing to rent you our old unit. No interview necessary. Said you fixed her radiator once?”

“That’s my girl. Never could keep your hands still.” A deep chuckle came from her _abuelo_. Twinkling brown eyes stared at her with pride. Judy bit her lip to keep herself from breaking into tears. “I have faith you can do this. We’ll wait for you, Jude. No matter how long it takes.”

She arrived at the apartment by noon, taken aback by the landlord’s genuine enthusiasm. Judy hadn’t thought she could consider anyone in Watson a friendly face. But she wasn’t of a mind to question her good fortune. When she laid down that night – in a place she could mostly recall fondly – Judy felt like she could finally breathe. Another phase was over with and another had yet to begin.

* * *

As she suspected, getting work was not an issue. It was very easy to convince people they should pay her over the greedy hacks who ran the shops. And once she had enough money to both pay the monthly debt and rent, Judy found herself with a little extra to invest. She started small at first, buying up whatever BDs she could from street vendors. Then she would hook them up to her terminal and start digging.

It wasn’t half as easy as she had first assumed. There were countless nuances to both the scroller’s experiences and a wreath’s ability to process. It was easy to make a misstep somewhere; amplify certain emotions too high or dull them to baseline. The process was like a dance she had to research the steps to, and the various BD manual’s said very little for the purposes of editing. However, Judy was a fast learner and had an eye for detail unmatched.

Her first BD track was a tiny thing, some Militech base-jumping exercise likely pilfered from their training programs. Yet in her hands, it transformed into something completely different. _The pulse of adrenaline. The thrill of the fall. The whistle of the wind passed their ears._ The initial BD had muted this to faint impressions, but she brought it back in full force. When Judy pulled the wreath from her head, an eager grin spread across her mouth. Her heart raced with the knowledge that she had found her calling.

Her skills only grew from there, and once she started selling the edited tracks, she earned herself a reputation in Kabuki. From casual BDs to intense hour-long virtu sequences. From pulse-pounding action to slow and emotional experiences. Judy Alvarez, preem Braindance technician. It was mantle she began to wear with pride.

Maybe she should have been more concerned with making her way to Oregon, but was there anything wrong with having fun along the way? Both her grandparents were doing well after all. Happier than they had ever been, in fact. If she took a little detour in her road to moving there… it’s not like the matter was pressing. Judy could make the scratch easy when she put her nose to the grind. They could wait just a little while longer.

As the months passed, her name began catching the attention of higher-profile people. Corps from the loftiest floors of Arasaka to the low rungs of local BD clubs hounded her incessantly. They left messages detailing the opportunities she could grasp if she signed with them and the eddies she could make. It would be foolish not to take it when she still had a debt to pay. But Judy wasn’t worried about making money. She didn’t create BDs just so they could be mass-marketed to shit. Judy considered herself an artist. Selling out to some corp would just sour things.

Invariably, her memory would call to mind that first BD. The emotions it brought out in her had changed how Judy saw the world. Sure, she could grind out soulless tracks for the highest bidder, but was that really what she wanted? No, what she desired most was for people to feel connected. That was the true purpose behind this technology – empathy and connection with someone they might never meet but could share just one brief moment with. No amount of eddies could beat that feeling. Perhaps it was silly of her to think this way; naive even. Yet it was what Judy genuinely believed.

Then, a few months later, she got a message from someone unknown. It was a job offer from their wording, just one of many similar messages she ignored. Judy nearly flipped off the terminal, ready to dismiss them, but the snippet at the bottom caught her eye.

_...connect our clients to their deepest desires. Here at Clouds, we specialize in both the physical and emotional needs of every patron. We would like to offer you the chance to grant them that in a virtu environment. And we would be honored to have our customers experience your talents._

Suggestion was soaked in every word they used. Judy didn’t need to hear it voiced to know that. She had vaguely heard the name Clouds bandied around. It was a doll-house, something Judy had very little interest or experience in. She knew the concept in theory, but the tech was beyond her practical knowledge. It was undeniably a sex-club by trade, just a bit classier than the standard joytoy hubs you could find on Jig-Jig street.

Yet what the hell could they want from her? Doll-houses were all about manufactured encounters. Scrolling a doll would be as useful as slapping a wreath on a toaster. Despite her better judgment, Judy decided to message them back.

_I was under the impression Clouds didn’t use BDs or virtus. Why contact me?_

Impressively, it only took them a few minutes to respond.

_Dolls aren’t the only commodity sold here. We’re in the business of fulfilling dreams. Sometimes people only want a glimpse of paradise rather than feeling it for themselves. Sometimes they want to take the dream home with them. BDs can do both of that without an exorbitant price tag._

Their logic made sense. Sex sold well, but even at a dollhouse people might not want to go the full mile. BDs straddled the line very effectively. Judy’s brow furrowed as she tried to puzzle out the details. She wrote in a flurry.

_So you want me to edit your tracks, I get that. But how does that work with dolls? They can’t feel anything while the program is running, right? You would just get baseline readings. Physical impressions could translate, but that’s it._

_That’s correct,_ they responded. _However_ , _we wouldn't be recording the doll. Actors will be hired for scrolling the virtu. All consensual. All very passionate about what they do. But we need someone equally as passionate to oversee the process. If not, the experience will be marred. We’ve seen your work, Ms. Alvarez, and we think you would be perfect for the job._

The frank response cut her short. They weren’t wrong. With something as physically and emotionally charged as sex, it would be very easy to botch. Yet she had never considered editing porn. She didn’t look down on the industry by any means. It was just… not what she had envisioned for herself. Judy blinked as the Clouds representative sent another message.

_We’re willing to allow you many concessions. Top of the line equipment is just the beginning. Name your price and we can begin talking in earnest._

Judy pursed her lips. She didn’t like the subtle coyness that colored their words. It smacked of the same arrogant certainty of the average corpo; as if asking was just a formality and they knew Judy would accept. A part of her wanted to shut them down on principle. Yet she couldn’t quite ignore the offer outright.

Emotion and connection were her domains of interest, and this could be a prime opportunity to explore something outside her ken. There were very few things in life that matched the frenetic intensity of two people taking what they needed from each other. Judy could admit to a healthy amount of curiosity as well. Maybe she would end up learning a thing or two. Her fingers flit over the terminal keys.

_I can spare a few weeks. If I like what I see, I’ll consider staying on longer. That work for you?_

Judy only had to wait a second before the answer came through.

 _Very much so._ _Welcome to Clouds._

* * *

In the end, Judy stayed longer than a few weeks. There were many reasons why, the foremost was the sheer sophistication of their equipment. She didn’t have the money to play around with the newest editing hardware and this job gave her free reign over some preem tech. In other words, she felt like a junkie in a smash factory. If nothing else, they certainly knew how to bait her in. Her initial embarrassment over working with such intimate recordings quickly faded. After a week, she was piecing them together and reviewing the BDs without batting an eyelash. Desensitization went a long way. It was also just pure fun to bolster the physical connection into something more than base instinct. It was still human connection, just another facet she hadn’t seen before.

The only thing she couldn't quite come to terms with was the dolls. The concept was a bit of a hurdle to wrap her head around, but she knew it wasn’t her place to judge what people do with their lives. If they were content with their lot she couldn’t say they were wrong. One of them was even kind enough to detail his experiences for her.

“It’s really no different than using a sophisticated vibrator or sleeve,” the man began. His name was Tom, and Judy had found herself warming to his carefree demeanor over the past few weeks. He winked playfully. “Sure, you technically have someone there physically. But while the lights may be on, no one is home. The doll chips make it impossible for us to remember what happens during a session. No hurt feelings, no icky expectations, and the client gets the exact fantasy they paid for. Simple and clean.”

“It doesn’t bother you though? What they could be doing to you?”

“I guess if security was less tight I would be concerned.” He slicked back his hair before shrugging. “Had an incident a while back where a client was a little too rough with a girl. They were on that guy in a snap. Piled on a hefty fine too. He hasn’t been back since.”

“Still, I’m not sure I could do the same. Trust doesn’t come easily to me,” Judy admitted. Tom just grinned affably.

“Oh, you won’t have to worry. They’re more interested in your brain than your body. Sexy as it is.” His eyes drifted down her frame pointedly, but she didn’t feel any intent behind it. While he didn’t say it, Judy had a feeling she wasn’t his type. “Just keep the virtus coming smooth and they’ll cater to you. Clouds knows a hot commodity when they see one.”

“I can’t complain so far. Even let me have an office in the back.”

“Then they _really_ want to keep you. Woodman is stingy, doesn’t like his space infringed.” Tom wrinkled his nose like he smelled something foul. “Speaking of, try to limit your interactions with him. He probably won’t mess with you too much, but he’s a bit of a sleaze.”

“Woodman? You mean Mr. Forrest.” Judy straightened. “He hurt you guys or take advantage?”

“No, no. Nothing like that. He does his job well, mostly. Handles things so we don’t have to.” The doll scratched his cheek, appearing to struggle with the right description. “He’s just a guy who knows he has power so he tosses it around. I’m sure you’ve met the type. Anyway, he has a bad habit of wandering eyes. But Ev is his go-to these days."

“Ev?”

“Evelyn Parker.” Something soft and fond emerged from Tom’s expression. “Debuted just a few months ago and already has the top spot. Girl is crazy good at her work. I’d be crazy jealous if she wasn’t such a sweetheart.”

“Oh. Her, huh...” Judy crossed her arms, gaze drifting to the holo-ad in the corner of the VIP area. Evelyn Parker’s stunning features bore down at her, heavy-lidded eyes promising sin. Judy had met the woman very briefly when she first arrived. Bewitching though she was in looks, the doll came across as cold; unapproachable. She had stared at Judy with a faintly bemused expression, lips twisted with perceived mockery. Immediately, a hard ball of dislike had curled in Judy’s gut. Unwarranted maybe, but first impressions went a long way.

“You two gossiping like school girls?” A high-pitched voice cut through her musings. Judy blinked, stilling at the sudden intrusion. Maiko, another doll she had come to know, sidled next to Tom. Her almond eyes settled on Judy, dark and full of midnight promises. Heat spread across the back of her neck the longer Maiko looked at her.

“We were just talking about Clouds. Ins and outs." Tom sat straighter in his stool. The ease in his posture vanished along with his smile. "I thought you were off today. Woodman put you back on the schedule?”

“Roxanne called in. Something about her sister. I didn't pay attention to the details." Maiko crossed her legs, skirt rising along her thigh. Judy averted her stare. She hoped the other woman couldn’t see the flush steadily working across her face. “She’s missing out. The weekend always pulls more, but her loss is my gain. If I’m lucky, I might be able to bag me a few big spenders.”

“You might get a few, but Ev’s coming in today. You know she’ll be in high demand.”

“ _Ev_ is only popular because she’s a shiny, new toy. The moment her novelty starts to fade they’ll come running back to my corner.” Maiko licked her lips, leaving them wet with moisture. It was painfully distracting. “They always do.”

The doll rose on her heels, sauntering past Judy's stool. Delicate fingers traced teasingly along her back. Judy stifled a shiver, ignoring the heavy weight of Tom’s stare.

“Later, Tom. _Judy_.” Maiko departed down the stairs. Judy stared after her, unable to help herself.

“Something going on between you two?”

Judy glanced at Tom, fiddling with her drink. She took a sip before answering.

“She… invited me to go out on Sunday. Think it could be, you know, nice.”

“Nice? With Maiko?” Tom’s face pulled with incredulity. “Judy, no offense, but you could do much better. Maiko has a bit of a reputation around here – none of it _nice_.”

“C’mon, Tom. She’s been really great to me. If nothing else, I consider her a choom.” Judy leaned back in her stool. She frowned at the man, a bit offended on Maiko’s behalf. “I know she can be brusque, but she’s also really sweet sometimes. Reminds me a bit of a girl I knew in my hometown.”

“If you say so.” Tom clicked his tongue. “But do tell me if there’s a soul underneath all that eyeliner. I’m dying to know.”

Judy didn’t know what to say to that. Truthfully, she knew his doubts were warranted. Maiko often came off as a bitch when dealing with people, but Judy genuinely believed there was something else beneath that snide attitude of hers. She had been so curious about Judy’s life, asking personal questions no one else seemed interested in knowing. It was the most attention a woman had paid to her other than the occasional tipsy barfly. Maybe it would end up being nothing, but Judy was interested in seeing where it could lead. She downed the rest of her drink, setting aside Tom’s concerns.

* * *

“Fuck, fuck… _Fuck_!”

Judy slammed her palm into the metal rail, the impact sending a sharp vibration up her arm. It ached afterward, icy pinpricks skittering across her skin. She ignored it and fished out her cigarette pack. It was a habit she’d taken to after a long day at work, but it was becoming more frequent of late. They were the same brand her _abuelo_ used to smoke and the smell usually calmed her thoughts. But right now she just needed something to burn down her throat. She lit one and inhaled deeply.

“Spare a smoke?”

Judy stilled, caught off-guard. She whirled on her heel and met the placid face of Evelyn Parker. The doll was clothed in some racy number, material silken and sheer. Yet despite this, Judy got the impression she wasn’t in the mood to address that fact. Her features were stony.

“Sure.” Judy tossed the pack her way before leaning over the balcony. She took a pull from her cig, not bothering to look at the woman. She heard the click of Evelyn’s lighter. Then the doll joined her by the rail. They smoked in silence for a time, neither woman looking at the other.

“Judy… That’s your name, right?” Evelyn asked eventually. “Tom talks about you sometimes.”

“If you knew, why bother askin’?” Judy tossed back. She tapped her cig, knocking off the ash. From her periphery, she saw Evelyn’s brow rise beneath her bangs.

“Sharp little thing, aren’t you? He might have mentioned that. Said you take a minute to warm up, but it’s worth the wait.”

“He did?” Judy stared below them, eyes tracking the numerous lights. “...Tom’s a good guy. Sees the best in people.”

“Funny. He also said the same about you.” She heard Evelyn exhale slowly. A cloud of smoke faded into the night. “But I think he might have underestimated just how much. Even Tom isn’t gonk enough to make chooms with Maiko.”

“We’re not _chooms_. We’re not anything.” Judy tossed her cig bitterly. It fell into the grasping abyss. “Why do you care anyway?”

“Friend of a friend and all that,” Evelyn answered. “Tom would kill me if I saw you brooding and did nothing about it. He’s fond of you.”

“So you’re talking to me for Tom’s sake?”

“For the most part. Of course, curiosity is also a bit of a motivator. Maybe I wanted to know what Maiko did to piss you off.”

Judy tensed at the assumption.

“I didn’t say I was angry ‘cause of her.”

“Didn’t need to. It’s written all over you.” Evelyn smiled, bright and full like the sun. Judy wondered how much she paid to pull that off. “Maiko has a nasty habit of shitting where she eats. Leaves all sorts of crumbs.”

“It’s not her fault.” It was a knee-jerk response, and Judy flinched at the sound of her own voice. She sounded more defensive than she intended. “We were having fun. I was the one who made it something it wasn’t.”

“Oh? How exactly?”

“I don’t know.” Judy shrugged, avoiding the doll’s prying stare. There was an assessing quality to it she didn’t care for. As if the woman could see all her flaws laid bare. “Might’ve moved too fast for her. It was just a few hook-ups after work. I shouldn’t have assumed anything more.”

“Got a bit clingy?”

“I guess. I asked her what this was, just wanted to see how she felt but…” Judy rubbed her eyes and swallowed. “She didn’t say anything. Took her clothes and ran out of my apartment like I had a gun to her back. The next day I found her blowing some guy in the VIP bathroom.”

“Classy.” Evelyn smirked, but her tone wasn’t entirely derisive. Something that might have been sympathy appeared on her expression. “You think she did it on purpose? Wanted you to see?”

“I never know with her. At times… she’s sweet to me. Almost too much.” Judy looked past the other woman, focusing on the blinking advertisements of Clouds. "Other times she’s hard. Quick to snap and difficult to appease. And whenever I bring it up she just brushes me off.”

“Maiko is a woman who knows what she wants at all times,” Evelyn began. Her tone was even, strangely soothing in cadence. “Problem is she’s always looking for more. She believes she can have whatever she sets her greedy little eyes on. The richest clients. Clouds top spot. _You_. Sky’s the limit, but she’s the type to want to go even further.”

“Is this you warning me?”

“Could be.” Evelyn flicked the rest of her cigarette off the balcony. Her head canted in Judy’s direction. “You want my few ennys on the sitch? Cool down. Let Maiko play her petty games. The moment she realizes you won’t buy into it, she’ll come running back. Control is a hell of a drug, Judy. Don’t let her get high off of you.”

“You sound like you speak from experience,” Judy observed. Evelyn’s mouth quirked.

“With Maiko? Please. She’s not quite my brand of fun. But I knew a few people like her in my old life.” The doll’s striking blue eyes flicked away momentarily. “See it often enough and you get very good at calling things exactly how they are.”

Evelyn pushed away from the rail. She strode towards the balcony doors.

“I’ll see you around, Judy. Feel free to hit me up for a chat whenever you like.”

Judy watched her figure fade behind the glass. Their encounter had been illuminating in more ways than one. Evelyn was right, painful as it was to admit. Maiko could be like a spoiled child when she didn’t get her way. It was a quality Judy didn’t find attractive in the slightest. Still, did she really have room to complain? Maiko was far from perfect, but so was Judy. The other woman’s mood swings were a small price to pay in exchange for her companionship.

_Is that you talking or just your loneliness?_

Judy rooted within her pockets, in search of another cigarette, only to realize Evelyn never returned her pack. She sighed, cursing the woman’s name beneath her breath. When she confronted her the next day, Evelyn only burst into a laugh.

 _“I was only looking out for you, Judy. Synth-lungs don’t come cheap.”_ She had smiled fully, blue eyes alight with mirth, and suddenly Judy’s anger faded away. There was something charming about the coy flutter of her eyes. It wasn't meant to entice, merely to tease. It was jarringly different from the overly seductive gestures Maiko typically made.

As they continued to speak it was clear that wasn’t where the differences ended. With Maiko, Judy always felt like she had to be mindful of what she said. The woman was prickly and often took offense at the slightest of jests. Evelyn didn’t seem to take anything seriously, giving as much as she received. Judy could see why Tom liked her so much. More than that, she could see exactly why Evelyn headlined Clouds and not Maiko.

When she spoke people paid attention. When she was silent they wondered at the mysteries she was hiding. There was something about her that made you want to know more and simultaneously wish you never would. Her beauty was the draw, but it was her undeniable mystique that kept them coming back for more. To be the focus of her attention was a high like nothing else. It meant you were special, if only for a brief moment in time. After a few weeks, Judy could admit to a healthy amount of infatuation. She had a feeling that was just what life was like when you had the pleasure of knowing Evelyn Parker.

While time continued on its course, months passing by in a blink, Judy found herself growing close with both Tom and Evelyn. They usually spoke about Clouds and its customers, but sometimes it was about nothing much at all. It was easy to relax in their company. Neither expected more than she could give, and she did the same for them. It was the closest Judy had ever experienced to having real friends. And one day, as she was pouring over a few stills Evelyn sent of the night previous, Judy realized that's exactly what they were. She said as much to Tom one day and the man just gave her a bemused look in response.

“C’mon. Did you think me and Evie were talking to you for shits and giggles? We like you, girl. Chooms from now until the stars go out.”

Judy had been touched by the declaration. Other than her grandparents, no one had claimed to like her before. Maiko often said she enjoyed her body, but that meant very little to her. However, Tom and Evelyn genuinely seemed to care; impossible as that seemed.

“Thank you,” she had told him, voice rough with emotion. Tom blinked before his stare gentled.

“No need for gratitude. It’s just how friends are.” He hugged her from the side. “Now tell me the story with those tats of yours. The doll head is new, right? And what’s with that animal on your hip?”

Yet not everything at Clouds was a dream. The work, while rewarding at first, gradually became a grind. Woodman was initially lenient as a supervisor, but that changed as demand began to soar. He pressed her for more tracks daily, daring to threaten her pay if she didn’t cater to his whims. It was a threat that didn’t hold much water. He might oversee the daily minutiae of Clouds, but he wasn’t its head.

Still, she wouldn’t have mourned the loss of the money too much. Clouds had paid her well now for over a year. Truthfully, she had enough scratch saved to pay back her debt and more. What she did take issue with was him cutting loose her braindance actors. Woodman insisted her tracks misrepresented what Clouds stood for.

“ _Clients come to make their fantasies reality.” The man grinned smugly, and Judy had to clench her desk so she wouldn’t punch it off his face. “They don’t want to see some randoms fuck to oldie tunes and poetry. They want something gritty._ _ **Real**_ _. So give them what they came for.”_

It was a direct attack on everything she wanted to accomplish. Doll filmed BDs would have none of the emotion that drew her to making them in the first place. They would be soulless, empty. And scrolling the customers? It would just be a recipe for disaster. In one swift command, Woodman had cut her enthusiasm at the knees. Where once it had been a pleasure to edit for Clouds, now it was only misery. Nevertheless, Judy wasn’t willing to test her luck with him. Despite everything, she wanted to stay even if it was only because of Tom and Evelyn. But as things slowly deteriorated, Judy wasn’t sure how much she could stand.

It was tiny incidents at first. A client who got too eager, but wasn’t fined for the damage. Free sessions given without any form of compensation for the doll. Harassment to the staff that was grossly ignored. Judy might have been tempted to think it was all coincidence if the influx of Tyger Claws hadn’t accompanied it. She had known the gang had some stake in Clouds. It was hard to miss them stalking the VIP area. But they had increased their presence the last few weeks, and Judy had a feeling they now had total control over the facility.

More and more, Clouds was beginning to feel like a sinking ship. She just didn’t understand how much until she was ordered to record a BD at a Tyger Claw’s request. The scenario detailed turned her stomach and broke the thin string tethering her to Clouds.

“How bad was it?” Evelyn asked. The woman was reclining on Judy’s couch, legs folded beneath herself. She smoked steadily, eyes never wavering from her friend. Judy sat next to her, leg bouncing with nervous tension.

“Bad, Ev. Real bad.” She ran a hand through her hair. It was shorter than she was used to, but she felt a change was in order. On all fronts. “When Woodman gave me the script, I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. And that Tyger Claw was all smiles. Acting like it was no big deal.”

“Rape fantasy? Torture?” Evelyn’s lips wrapped contemplatively around her cigarette. “You know anything goes so long as no permanent damage is done.”

“That’s just it, Evie. The Tyger wanted a _genuine_ experience.” Judy rubbed her face. “They wanted me to use the new girl; Skye. She would walk in, chip active. Then the Tyger will wake her with the safe word. That’s when he–– when he would…”

“Bastard.” Blue eyes flashed as Evelyn’s lips twisted into a sneer. “Poor girl wouldn’t even see it coming. And they want to record this? Knew Woodman was spineless, but to allow this to happen… Fucker really doesn’t care so long as his eddies are paid.”

“He told me the Tyger wouldn’t hurt her. Not fully. Said the ganger only wanted the struggle; a fight. As if that would convince me." Judy shook her head, staring at the floor. "You know, I had spoken to Skye when she was brought on. She was so nervous, but I told her it would be fine. I promised her she wouldn't get hurt. I feel like I lied to her, Ev."

“You didn’t know this would happen. Don’t blame yourself.” Evelyn squeezed her arm. The touch was steadying and Judy clung to the warmth emanating from her palm. “I assume you declined.”

“More than that. I told Woodman he could spread his cheeks and let the Tyger fuck him if he wanted the footage so bad.” Judy fumbled for her lighter, aggravation causing her grip to slip. Finally, she got it to catch. The flame lapped at the paper. “He didn’t like that. Said I needed to take a few days to soak my head before coming back to scroll the BD. If I still refused, I’d be cut loose.”

“That wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. You’re a preem technician, Judy. Any BD club in the city would be overjoyed to have you.”

“Sure, and that’s fine and dandy for me. But what about the dolls? You, Tom, and Skye?” Judy inhaled deeply, the sting doing little to clear her thoughts. “Fuck, she might not be my output but I would still do what I could for Maiko too. All of you deserve better.”

“There are worse places than Clouds,” Evelyn said. Her tone was gentle, but steel lay beneath the silk. “Did I ever tell you how ecstatic I was when I got my chip? No more hawking on Jig-Jig, no more sleepless nights wondering if I could wrangle a client, no more fear of some scav chopping me up for parts. All that uncertainty gone in a blink.”

“It’s a false sense of safety, Ev. Maybe you’re fine today, but what if some ganger decides he wants to mess up Clouds’ top doll just for a laugh?”

“They wouldn’t do that to me. Know why? I’m worth more to them whole than in pieces.” Evelyn smoothed out her dress. “Tom and Maiko, too. The only reason Woodman picked Skye is because she’s fresh meat. Untried and not likely to make half of what we do.”

“So that makes it right?” Judy snapped. Her friend stared at her coolly.

“Of course not. But it’s just the way Clouds works. Better the filth we know than the ones in the streets.”

“I don’t know, Ev.” She twisted her cigarette between twitching fingers. “I… I don’t think I can stay there anymore. Maybe you’re at peace with what goes on, but I’m not going to forget.”

“You don’t have to.” Evelyn’s expression softened. “Tell Woodman to fuck himself and damn the rest. Me and Tom will be fine.”

“You could quit too.” Judy lifted her head. She watched as Evelyn’s mouth parted with surprise. “Don’t bullshit me. I know you’re sick of it just like I am. I've heard things, you know, about that primarily female gang in Watson. Maybe they could help us with Clouds. Give anyone who left shelter from the Claws.”

“You’re referring to the Mox.” Evelyn’s nose scrunched with visible distaste. “The self-appointed heroines of joytoys and the working class. What a tag-line.”

“Maybe they don’t have the cred or numbers, but they’re trying to make a difference. That’s more than most people can say.” Judy leaned forward, setting her hand atop Evelyn’s knee. “I’m serious, Ev. They could protect all of you. Give you work without the same conditions as Clouds.”

“No one does anything without a cost. The Moxes sound noble on paper, but they’re still a gang.” The doll favored Judy with a faintly pitying look. “Say I delta, then what? I dance for table ennys at some dive bar in Kabuki? Become the premier actress scrolling your BDs?”

“No!” Judy flinched back. “I’d never ask that of you. It’s just… you could do better, Evie. I know you could.”

“You’re sweet, Judy. That’s what I like about you the most.” Evelyn reached up, pushing back a lock of Judy’s hair. She tucked it behind her ear. “You have a big heart under all that ink. But sometimes I think it’s too big for your own good. Careful that it doesn’t get you burned.”

Judy didn't know what she meant by that. With Evelyn, nothing was ever as it seemed. But she tried not to think of the ominous implications nor the solemn look in her friend’s eyes. Her heart was already set on something bigger than herself. One thing she had learned in Night City was that no one would solve your problems for you. If something needed fixing, then you do it yourself.

* * *

Judy handed in her resignation the next morning. Woodman hadn’t said anything during the whole process. She imagined he was stunned she had actually gone through with it. It was satisfying to wipe that smug look off his face for once. Her goodbyes with the other Clouds staff was a much more somber affair. Many were sad to see her go, something she hadn’t anticipated from anyone other than Tom and Evelyn. Roxanne even drew her in for a quick hug before waving her off. She hadn’t gotten the chance to know the woman beyond a few short conversations, but she always appreciated her easygoing manner. As they wished her farewell, it made Judy think that perhaps she had more friends than she thought.

Of course, her parting with Tom and Ev was an entirely different beast. Tom in particular was morose, constantly asking her whether she was certain about leaving. Judy had to assuage him several times that she wouldn’t be going far.

“Lizzie’s is just over the bridge, Tom. You can drop in on me anytime you feel like it.” She clasped his hands and smiled. “Or you could come with. I’m sure I can convince them to take you.”

“I appreciate that, Judy. But I have a few regulars here. I just know they’d kick up a fuss if I stopped showing.” He hesitated, searching her face for a moment. Then he brought her in for a tight embrace. “Don’t be a stranger, okay? Give me a ring on the holo anytime.”

“Same for you, Tom.” Judy stepped away and turned to face Evelyn. The other woman’s expression was calm, but Judy could see a faint strain to the set of her jaw. “You too, Ev. Anything you need, don’t hesitate to ask. Goes for anyone you know who might need something too.”

“It’s Japantown, Judy,” Evelyn replied. “Everyone always needs something. But… I’ll keep that in mind.”

Her painted lips tilted upward, blue eyes sparkling like stars. Judy fell a little bit in love with her then. It was impossible not to. She was Evelyn Parker after all. Judy would miss her fiercely, but it wasn’t like she would be leaving Night City – only Westbrook. Judy could do what she wanted, making art while protecting people like those she had come to respect and admire. And Evelyn would be here, stealing the hearts of every poor schmuck who thought they stood a chance.

Maybe the situation at Clouds was a lost cause, but if there was any way of fixing it the Mox would have the answers. It was an idea Judy couldn’t help but cling to as she stepped beneath the hazy lights of Lizzie’s. As far as first impressions go the Mox both were and were not as she had expected. They had the sharp street-wise look of most gangs, but it was clear they didn’t share the sheer force of Maelstrom or the Animals. Judy just hoped their talk wasn’t only the bluster of ambitious blowhards.

Their leader, Susie Q, was a no-nonsense ballbuster with little patience for anything that wasted her time. She had dismissed the younger woman at first, but when Judy mentioned needing a new employment Suzie’s tune quickly changed.

“Judy Alvarez. Worked for Clouds, didn't you?" The woman passed a hand over her faceplate, seemingly deep in thought. "The technician who cut their virtus?”

“The same.”

“Well, fuck. Should have started with that. Everyone from Watson to Pacifica has heard of your ass. At the very least, seen your work.” Susie scanned her frame before nodding. “First things first. Everyone who works here is a Mox. I don’t take solo acts and I don’t tolerate anyone thinking they’re above our rules. We clear on that?”

“Absolutely,” Judy responded without pause. Susie squinted at her for a moment.

“We’ll see about that. You might be one talented bitch, but I don’t want to hire on some limp-wristed pussy. Things can get heated here, so I'll need you to pack some iron."

“What? You want me to shoot someone?” Judy frowned deeply. “I’m not a killer.”

“Don’t need you to be. I just need to know you’ll be willing to defend our turf if things get hot.” Susie shrugged and set a shotgun atop the desk. Judy stared at it, reluctant. “Look, kid. Just take the damn gun and stash it somewhere safe. Maybe buy yourself a pistol and keep it on you for when you’re working.”

“You think people will try to storm the place?”

“It’s more for when some pimp thinks he can roll up and slap around the joytoys under our protection. Iron keeps a man honest.”

“Fine. But don’t expect me to use it often.” Judy grasped the shotgun. She cringed at the cold weight of it. Nothing good ever came from solving problems with bullets in her opinion. “Think I’d rather use my fists than shoot ‘em full of holes.”

Judy blinked as Susie burst into laughter.

“Now that’d be something to see. Punchin’ Judy it is then.”

And with that, her induction was complete. Joining a gang hadn’t ever been something she would have considered before. But the Mox were different. They had to be if she wanted to truly make a change in the streets. Judy wasn’t sure what her grandparents would make of all this. They would probably tell her she was acting too recklessly and insist she quit. Their holos together had been rife with tension ever since Judy told them she wasn’t going to Oregon. At least, not anytime soon. There was too much work to be done in Night City for her to delta now.

Life in the Mox wasn’t difficult to adjust to. Despite Susie’s hard demeanor, they weren’t rigid or uncompromising. They had their rules that they stuck to, but everything outside them was fair game. Judy could come as she liked and wander where she pleased without much fuss. They were also willing to provide her with all the tech she needed to scroll as she wanted; had no shortage of actors willing to star in them too. Susie was right, her name alone was enough for people to take interest. Within a month, Lizzie’s was bustling with patrons desperate to try her virtus. Eddies flowed like water and Susie was gracious enough to clear out the basement so Judy could continue her work.

Which was all well and good, but it wasn’t why she had joined the Mox. Yet whenever Judy tried to bring up her concerns about the Tyger Claws and Clouds, Susie dismissed her.

_“I know you got chooms there. I feel you, seriously. But look at my girls. Now look at the countless cold-blooded motherfuckers that make up the Tyger Claws. You see the difference?”_

Judy despised the seemingly blithe explanation, but she wasn’t blind to the truth either. She knew the Mox couldn’t take on the Claws as they were. They would need ten-times the firepower and numbers just to make a dent. Her mood spiraled the longer she considered it. To say she was disappointed with the realization would be an understatement. Yet not everything was a lost cause. The Mox really did try to make the streets safe for the working class. Joytoys who sought their protection were granted shelter. Pimps who stepped out of line in Watson were made examples of. Never for free, but it was still better than nothing.

Judy could fix things here. Slow and steady, but better nonetheless. She needed to believe that was true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this first part! More will be coming in the near future. Judy is such a compelling character to explore and this story has been nagging at me ever since I finished the game. This character study will try to stay close to canon, but I will be adding my own takes to things as well as bonus scenes that I really feel Judy/V should have had. Not to say what we got wasn't really satisfying. Everything about Pyramid Song was *chef's kiss* I would love to hear how you felt about this first chapter so please feel free to leave me your thoughts! Thank you for reading~ AdraCat  
> (side note: I know PonPon Shit is a US Cracks song so they should prob not be around in that timeframe but plz ignore this lol. Just headcanon theirs is a cover of an even more annoying version)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Much love to my beta johnxfire~
> 
> CONTENT WARNING: Everything Evelyn :( Nothing too graphic but in line with canon mentions and depictions. Please read at your own discretion.

Six months into her life as a Mox, Judy received a holo from Evelyn. The doll’s eyes were hooded, expression tight with unknown tension. It alarmed the younger woman greatly. Her friend wouldn’t be ringing in the middle of the night for nothing.

“Ev? Is everything—”

“I’m outside,” Evelyn interrupted. “Can you open up the door? I’m freezing.”

“Sure. Hold on.” Judy disconnected from the holo, gnawing her lip with worry. The fact Evelyn had made the trip from Westbrook to see her was concerning. Evelyn’s schedule was a tightly regimented thing. Making impromptu visits late at night just wasn’t in the cards for her. So why was she here? As soon as Judy opened the door, Evelyn hurried past her. The doll’s gait was clipped; agitated. She sat on the couch, hands rummaging through her clutch. Judy approached her warily.

“What are you doing here, Ev?” She crossed her arms, scrutinizing Evelyn’s appearance. The woman was clothed casually, face free of cosmetics. The electric blue hue of her bob was fading at the root. The hair itself looked unwashed; greasy. Judy had never seen Evelyn look so... undone. “Did something happen at Clouds? Is Tom…?”

“He’s fine. Everyone there is peachy.” The other woman opened her cig case with a snap. “Smoke?”

“I’m trying to quit. Was hitting it too often,” Judy admitted.

“Suit yourself,” Evelyn hummed before lighting up. Her body relaxed, shoulders growing slack. She sank into the cushions. “Shit, that’s good. Feel like I haven't had a chance to breathe in days."

“You gonna tell me what this is about?” Judy sat beside her. “You’re startin’ to make me worry.”

“Why? Am I interrupting something?”

“That’s not it. And even if you were, you know I wouldn’t care.” She took in Evelyn’s face, observing the harsh lines that hadn’t been there before. “You look like shit, Ev.”

“Flatterer.” Evelyn smiled grimly. Plumes of smoke filtered out her nose. “You speak to all your girls this way? With a mouth like that, it's little wonder why you're single."

“Cut the bull. You don’t think I can see you giving me the runaround?” Judy leaned closer, forcing her friend’s eyes to meet hers. “If nothing is wrong at Clouds, then this is something personal. What happened, Evie? Tell me.”

Evelyn didn’t respond. Her features smoothed, any hint of emotion wiped clean. She placed the filter to her mouth but didn't quite inhale. It was a long while before she finally spoke.

“...I left Clouds, Judy. Had it finalized last week.”

The news was a shock, and Judy could do nothing but gape for a moment. She recovered slowly, trying to find her tongue.

“Ev, you actually—” Judy licked her lips, unsure of what to think. “Was this planned? You could have messaged me if you…”

“It had been on my mind for a while now. Ever since you left. I guess some of what you said stuck with me.” The doll took a drag off her cig. Her gaze was distant, focused somewhere Judy couldn’t see. “It was more impromptu than I would have liked. But leaping first can sometimes work in our favor. Did for you, right?”

“Sure." Judy's brow furrowed. She searched Evelyn's expression but found only a practiced mask. "I just don't get why the sudden change of heart. You seemed happy at Clouds. Didn't think anything would tear you away."

“You a badge now, Judy?" Chapped lips twisted into a pantomime of a smile. "We can play if you want. Don't think I missed that MTac uniform in your closet."

“Please be serious. You roll up here in the middle of the night, looking like you haven’t slept in days, and you expect me to just let it go? That’s not how it works, Evie.”

“Maybe I’m tired of all things serious. Maybe I just wanted to go somewhere familiar and not be interrogated.” Evelyn’s voice strained upon the last word. “I left, Judy. That’s all you need to know for now. Your place was closer than Tom’s, and honestly? I'm hoping you let this one go. The day has been… not the best for me."

“Okay, Ev. Okay.” Judy drew away, granting the other woman space. She stood hesitantly. “You can take the bed. Just don’t mind the mess of tools beneath. Let me fetch some blankets from the closet and I’ll leave you be.”

“It’s your place. I can take the couch.”

“And I’m insisting otherwise.” Judy glanced at her friend’s lanky frame. She looked thinner than usual. Everything about her was woefully diminished from the dazzling headliner of Clouds. “Got some leftover synth chicken you can have too. Plates are to the left of the fridge.”

For a split second, it appeared Evelyn might protest. Her expression flew between a myriad of emotions before settling on gratitude. Her voice was soft when she next spoke.

“That sounds lovely. Thank you.”

Judy nodded, allowing relief to replace her earlier concern. But the latter still remained even as the doll wolfed down her leftovers and crawled into bed. She didn’t know what it was that Evelyn was going through, but she knew anything to do with Clouds would be difficult to bear. No matter her popularity, Evelyn was still a commodity to be sold. Judy doubted they were willing to part with her without a fight.

The next morning, as she brewed coffee for the two of them, Judy heard her friend speaking to someone over the holo. It was hard to discern what was said. Evelyn's tone was hushed, the door closed to shield from prying ears. More secrecy. More lengths to which the doll would go to hide her problems. It was aggravating that Evelyn didn’t trust her enough. But maybe trust wasn’t the issue at hand.

Still, hadn’t Judy already proven she was willing to listen? To help with whatever Evelyn needed? Surely, her friend knew she would always be in her corner. Judy banished these thoughts as the other woman strode into the kitchen. She schooled her expression into a benign smile.

“Coffee’s done. Tastes like ass, but it’ll serve you well enough.”

“Hmm.” Evelyn slipped onto a nearby stool. She accepted the mug Judy offered, but only appeared faintly aware of it. Her lips curled along the top. “Tastes like heaven to me. Last time I had a cup was when I visited Roxanne. She had some sort of weird brew. Too earthy for my palate.”

“You were at her apartment? Why?” Judy lowered her cup. She looked at her friend, her worry returning. “When was this?”

“Last week. Right after I quit Clouds. She took me out for drinks.” Evelyn waved her fingers idly. The set of her mouth was distinctly wry. “Celebration, commiseration… either way. Ended up getting shit-faced and needed to stay over. Lovely topiary though. She didn’t strike me as the type for all that Feng Shui nonsense.”

“Evie…” Judy opened her mouth, questions hovering on the tip of her tongue. She stopped herself short. Evelyn looked better than before, certainly more human, but that didn’t mean she was ready to open herself up. Judy would likely just receive the same answers as she had last night. She ended up biting her tongue and changing the subject. “Called Susie earlier. Asked her if there were any local joints she knew that were legit.”

“That’s the Mox boss, right?” Evelyn narrowed her eyes. “You told her about me?”

“Only vaguely. Said you were an old friend who is a bit of a bind. She sounded real sympathetic.” Judy leaned against the fridge, sipping lightly on her coffee. "Even mentioned helping a few ex-Clouds girls from time to time. According to her, there are a few other doll-houses you could go to. Won't pay as much, small-time only, but it's something."

“It’s an option to consider, I suppose.” Evelyn looked away, eyes falling on the window. “To tell you the truth, I’m not sure I want to keep doing this. Might take a break and _reassess_ my priorities.”

“Then what will you do in the meantime?”

“Not sure. I've been meaning to figure it out, but answers are elusive." Painted nails tapped against the plastic mug. Something about the noise set Judy's teeth on edge. "I’ll be honest. I wasn’t thinking clearly when I left. Feel like I’ve been running since my contract ended and I… I’m just not sure where to go from here. I used to pride myself on always knowing what to do, what to say.”

“You can take some time to figure things out. Nothing wrong with that.” Judy regulated her voice, hiding her mounting unease. She wasn’t used to seeing Evelyn so unraveled like this. It was frightening. “You need help. Don’t know the particulars, but I know that much. So _let_ me help you. I’ll see what Susie thinks, and you can stay here in the meantime.”

“Gonna make me a kept woman?” Evelyn smiled thinly, but it was marginally brighter than before. “Dear me, what will your neighbors think?”

“My landlord loves me. Everyone else ignores me because of that. They won’t bat an eye at you coming and going.” Judy paused, reaching over to clasp her friend’s hand. “I owe you and Tom a lot, you know. I didn’t even know how lonely I had been until you came into my life.”

“Oh, Judy…” Evelyn’s expression lost its coy edge. She bit her lip, appearing to come to some sort of conclusion. Then her jaw steeled and she squeezed Judy’s hand. “You’ve already done more than most. Giving up pieces of yourself will only hurt you in the end. And me… you really shouldn’t waste more time than necessary on someone like me.”

Her eyes flashed, the color dark and filled with promise.

“Something you want? If there is, all you need to do is say it. You've more than earned a reward."

Judy froze, the sudden mood shift catching her off guard. She had never seen Evelyn stare at her like this. At clients and from the translucent screens of holo-ads, but never towards her. Judy swallowed hard, head spinning from those piercing blue eyes. Yet more than lust or intrigue, Judy felt… uncomfortable. She had her fantasies long before they became close. Idle musings of taking a very attractive woman to her bed, but nothing more. There was an intimacy to their interactions that couldn’t be denied, but Judy had never seriously considered it going past that. But why?

She loved Evelyn. Adored her more than any other person in Night City. She should be chomping at the bit for a chance to express that physically. Yet when Judy thought of going through with it, arousal wasn’t what filled her belly. She looked into Evelyn’s face. The woman was quirking her lips, stare unfaltering. However, within the shards of silver that lanced through her iris, Judy saw nothing of the woman she cared for.

This wasn’t Evie, the quick and ever-witty friend she had come to know. The woman facing her now was Evelyn Parker; the preem doll who always knew what the customer sought. Evelyn hadn’t offered because she desired her. She did it because she thought that was what Judy wanted. If Judy took her to bed, nothing about that would change. She pried away her hand.

“I don't want anything, Ev. Don't require anything either." She tossed her empty mug into the sink. Her eyes were pinned to the faucet, unwilling to face Evelyn’s scrutiny. “That’s not why I offered. Thought you knew that.”

A tense silence ensued as Judy waited for her to respond. After a time, she heard her friend exhale heavily.

“I do. I’m sorry. Just… Habits can be hard things to break.” Evelyn's voice was tired then – worn down by everything she had become. Yet there was something else too. Relief, or an emotion akin to it. "Maybe I’ll go ahead and bite the bullet. Call myself a Mox. What do you think?”

“Think you should drink more coffee.” Judy relaxed and allowed a small laugh to slip. “But that’s not a bad idea. Wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. I’m sure you’d have all of Lizzie’s eatin’ out of your hand in a week.”

“Try a day. I haven’t lost all my charm.” Evelyn grinned fully. It was like the sun breaking through the clouds. The storm had passed and all was well. “Some people have good taste."

“Fuck off. My taste in women isn’t that bad.”

“I think we both know that isn’t true.

Judy rolled her eyes but allowed the comment to pass. Her body slackened with relief, grateful the odd energy from before had vanished. Suddenly, they were back to interacting as they always did. Judy smiled, observing as her friend rattled off with her fingers the numerous mistakes she had made. The important thing was she hadn’t made another one. Evelyn deserved more than to be just another regret.

* * *

Rather than take the chance to work at one of the smaller dollhouses, Evelyn decided to join the Mox. Judy wasn’t sure who was more surprised by the decision, Ev or her. Multiple times the doll had made her feelings about the gang clear. She didn’t despise them, necessarily. She just thought them opportunists masquerading as vigilantes. Judy understood why she had that impression. She couldn’t entirely dismiss it either. Had they still done all they could without a hefty price-tag it would have been another story. It was the one sticking point in an otherwise virtuous goal. But for Night City standards, the Mox might as well have been avenging angels.

Yet unlike Judy, Evelyn didn't go the full mile. Her skin was clear of Mox branding, pretty fingers refusing to hold a gun. She snubbed more than a few of Susie's orders and essentially did as she pleased. It didn't earn her any friends among the gang. Susie in particular was not very pleased with her, bristling each time they were forced to interact.

Still, Judy was glad to have her hanging around Lizzie’s. It was almost like their days together at Clouds. Whenever Tom stopped by for a brief chat, it was like nothing had changed at all. Yet nothing in Night City was built to last. Inevitably, the tension between Evelyn and Susie came to a head. And as Susie pulled her aside one day, jaw locked with aggravation, Judy didn’t feel the need to ask what it was about.

“I get you two go way back, but you need to tell your girl to fall in line,” the Mox leader spat. “I don’t care how many eds her perky little ass brings in. Either she gets the picture or she gets the boot. Understood?”

Judy had only nodded, knowing Susie would tolerate nothing less. The woman didn’t keep a stranglehold over them, but she hated her authority to be challenged. And Evelyn? Everything she did railed against that control. Judy couldn’t blame her, affection for Evelyn aside.

“Why do you keep needling her?" She pressed one day. They were relaxing in her apartment, Judy at her workbench, and Evelyn by the aquarium. The doll was staring into the glass, eyes following the rotating plastic fish. She had an unlit cigarette in her hands, and Judy couldn’t tell if she was too distracted by the view or had simply forgotten to ignite it. “You know she’s looking for an excuse to be rid of you. Tells me every day I should have never taken you in."

“I know. She tells me that too.” Evelyn’s lips curled with distaste. “Simple answer? I don’t like how she runs things. She’s just another poser ganger who’s got more brawn than sense. Doesn’t help that she’s using you.”

“Susie pays me well. We both get something out of the deal."

“Not what I meant.” She traced a nail against the glass. “Susie could pay you in single ennys and you’d still stay. The 'cause' is what you're after, making virtus is just a bonus. She knows that and uses it to lead you by the nose. Honestly, I doubt she cares half as much as you do.”

“That isn’t true.” Judy stiffened. Her tech-glove creaked as her hand clenched. “We do good work when we can. But Susie can’t have the gang patrolling the streets at all hours. It’s just not practical.”

“These your words or hers?” Evelyn’s smile was tight; humorless. Her eyes reflected the aquarium lights. “Face it, Judy. She just another faceless nobody among many, pretending she's more. Susie’s strength is in those willing to follow her. I remind her of how small she really is."

“Don't mean you have to rub it in her face, Ev."

“Why not? She takes every opportunity to say what she thinks of me. Only fair I do the same.” Evelyn turned her head, catching Judy’s stare. “The point is moot. We both know I won’t be staying for long. The Mox isn’t where I’m meant to be.”

“It could be,” Judy replied. “If you let it. Just gotta find your niche.”

“So I can take up a bat for some joytoys that are too gonk to get their shit together?” A shadow flitted across the doll’s face. “I made something more of myself by doing what needed to be done. I won’t crawl through dirt that isn’t mine for people too afraid to do the same.”

“It’s not that simple, Ev. You have to know that.” Judy straightened, tone hardening at her friend's condemnation. "Seriously think they haven't tried? They just get slapped down or sold to scavs for eddies. You’re stronger than most, but don’t think that’s true of everyone.”

“There’s that heart of yours again. Always bleeding for things that shouldn’t concern you.” Evelyn’s face lost its hard edge for a moment. Her eyes drifted to the window. She did that often, Judy noticed, whenever she was lost in thought. She wondered where it was Evelyn went as blue eyes scanned the drab streets. “You know the biggest difference between us? You look at the city and see a beast needing to be tamed. I look at it and see a machine, grinding up whoever falls into its gears. It doesn’t care and it won’t stop. Some things just can’t be changed.”

She paused. The abrupt silence was filled with the sound of the air conditioner and the bubbles from the aquarium. Evelyn placed the cigarette in her mouth at last, sparking her lighter. A brief light haloed her form, reflected by the glass to her back. And for an instant, Judy saw her face trapped behind it – lovely features painted with water.

“I never told you why I left Clouds. It wasn’t because of what you said before. Would have been simpler if it was.” She breathed, smoke flying past her lips. “Truth is, my number was up. I wasn’t bringing half of what I did a month prior. Not sure where it went wrong, but management doesn’t care about the hows. Maiko was all too happy to headline, and me? I knew it was only a matter of time before they put me to use _elsewhere_.”

“What do you mean by that?” Judy asked. Her gut churned as Evelyn looked at her askance.

“They never did go through with that BD with Skye. But that doesn’t mean they wouldn’t revisit the idea. They had recently hired on some in-house editor. Trying to recapture the virtu market, was their official explanation. But we knew better. And I knew if my numbers kept dropping, they might just set their sights on me instead.”

“Evie…” Judy swallowed, not sure what she should say. She stood, tentatively touching her friend’s elbow. “Why didn’t you say anything? You know I wouldn’t have judged you.”

“It was over. Didn’t feel digging it up just for a little pity,” Evelyn explained. “Besides, I know you. You would have tried to do something off the cuff. Maybe gather a Mox posse and get yourself flatlined.”

Judy couldn’t deny that. She had a propensity for letting her anger steer her where it pleased. It didn’t always work in her favor. She averted her gaze, deciding not to comment. Evelyn moved away from her.

“Clouds was a dead-end. But so is the Mox. I need to find something better. _Anything_ that can get me out of this city for good.” She stared at the spinning fish once more. “I’m a fading star, Judy. And I could go out with a whimper or with a bang. When I do, I hope it’s far away from here.”

On and on, the mechanical fish turned. Never stopping; never changing course. They stayed in their little tank and continued to swim until the day they would eventually wear down to nothing or break. Judy tried not to think of Evelyn doing the same.

* * *

Evelyn was gone by the end of the week. The doll packed up her things, said her goodbyes to the few who earned her favor, and left Lizzie’s behind. Judy did nothing to stop her. Evelyn was on a path that she didn't quite understand, but it wasn't her place to second-guess it. Her friend needed to find her own way. Judy knew that feeling well. After she left, Susie strutted around without a care. Her order was reestablished with Evelyn gone, and life at Lizzie’s returned to normal.

For Judy, a deep melancholy replaced Evelyn’s presence in her life. It wasn’t just her departure that nagged, but Evelyn’s words as well. She found herself thinking about her place in the Mox, Susie’s leadership, and the various injustices that she saw daily but couldn’t fix. Whether because the money they had wasn’t plentiful enough or because some larger gang was involved. At times, Judy felt like she was treading water and going nowhere fast.

Maybe it was that feeling of empty momentum that led her to ringing Maiko. Maybe it was the gnawing ache of isolation. Maybe both. The woman answered on the third ring, expression bland. Her eyes were free of kohl, but the hawkish intent remained. She smiled, the gesture more a baring of teeth than anything. Judy knew this had been a bad idea from that alone. But she wasn’t thinking of the repercussions. She was tired, lost, and achingly lonely.

If she sought comfort from the only person willing to give it to her, was she really to blame? It wasn’t as if she expected this to be anything other than what it had always been. They never did quite make the leap to commitment, but they had flirted with it briefly. Maiko had even apologized for letting her see… Well, it was long forgotten. They had been seeing each other regularly, sleeping over and leaving things at each other's place like it was normal. As if they were a real couple.

Judy had gotten her hopes up, but it all came crashing down once Maiko was promoted. Suddenly, it was back to how they used to be. Whatever intimacy they had was dashed like it never existed. The fact Judy had a hand in her ascension – a mere tweak to her daily stats to boost her ratings – sat sourly in her gut. She thought Maiko might be able to change things at Clouds. Putting a doll in charge of their affairs could only help things. But Maiko was not willing to risk her newfound power. Judy felt used. And, if she was honest with herself, that was probably what happened. Judy had been content to ignore the doll’s attempts at apology and re-connection. Until now.

Evelyn had known they were still in contact. Hadn't liked it much, either. But Evie was gone, and Judy needed anything to distract her from the ice creeping up her spine. As Judy drove to Westbrook, her heart did not flutter with anticipation. She had no aims of impressing, and no desire to rekindle the passing infatuation she used to hold. This was nothing more than connecting physically with someone else. A flimsy anchor, but Judy couldn’t afford to be picky.

When she arrived, Maiko did not mince words. She drew her close, hands in her hair and lips to her jaw. They fell together on the doll's plush couch. Maiko's nails dug into her skin, clawing at the parts of Judy she could reach. It was nothing new. Neither was the waxy residue of the woman’s lipstick or the cloying smell of her perfume. Where once these things had lit her chest with fire, Judy only felt a nagging sense of disgust. Yet she allowed it nonetheless, aching for something to ground her. She pulled away when Maiko's hand wormed below her overalls. Her hands reached up, wiping away the slick of the woman’s saliva.

“Sorry,” she said in a rasp. "Let's… slow it down a bit. Been a while."

Maiko snorted. Her dark eyes narrowed.

“No shit. Used to be I couldn’t get my clothes off fast enough. Now, look at you. Getting all flustered over a bit of foreplay." She huffed, reclining along the sofa. Her legs crossed as she dug through her purse. “Whatever. Want to smoke for a bit? Maybe that’ll get you warmed up.”

“I quit. Going on a month now.” Judy scooted away, suddenly uncomfortable with Maiko’s proximity. She wasn’t sure why she put a stop to things. This was why she had come, wasn’t it? She blinked as a derisive chuckle cut the air.

“Seriously? Wow, that little gang has neutered you good." Maiko swept her tongue along her teeth. “Don’t fuck. Don’t smoke. Still drink, or that something you also quit?"

“They didn’t tell me to stop. I did it for me. No one else.” Judy rankled at the doll’s thinly veiled ridicule. Maiko just sniffed, clearly dismissing her words.

“Why? ‘Cause you want to live a smidge longer? Pointless. Just get a pair of synth-lungs and call it a day.”

“It’s not just health. I didn’t like how it felt when I needed them.” Judy pursed her lips. “Like a crutch that I couldn’t get by without. Felt like it had control over me. That’s why I stopped.”

“Typical Judy. Always looking for meaning in the most asinine things.” Maiko rolled her eyes. She took a pull, inhaling deeply for emphasis. “Thought being a Mox would give you a little more edge, some bite to that bark of yours. Instead, it just made you duller. Pity.”

Judy clenched her teeth but refused to rise to Maiko's bait. The doll was winding her up. It was a familiar tactic when they saw each other frequently. She would prod and probe until she got a reaction. Usually, it led to them fucking without reserve – just as sharp and heady as any back alley BD. Yet Judy never felt good about herself after, especially since it ended with her being just as alone and angry as ever. Back then, she thought Maiko was oblivious to the hurt she caused. She knew better now.

“They’ve given me plenty. More than Clouds ever did.”

“Right. Fighting the good fight for sex workers everywhere.” Maiko’s expression twisted with blatant condescension. “Don’t know why you bother. Play the game right and you won’t get burned. Refuse and you get crushed as you should. Just ask _Ev_.”

Judy stilled, staring hard at the doll.

“What do you mean by that?”

“Only the obvious. I know she ran to you for comfort.” Maiko blew a ring into the air. She watched it fade into the dark. “Girl didn’t have her heart in it anymore. Anyone could see that. She wanted an out, so she seized the chance. Then scurried to the only person she knew who would treat her like a princess. Poor, sweet, _conniving_ Evelyn.”

“You say that like she used me.” Judy balled her hand before standing. She glowered at Maiko, a hair away from slapping her down. “Ev needed help because Clouds was poised to fuck her over. She didn’t ask anything of me.”

“All I hear is the same smitten gonk who trailed after her heel. You think I never noticed the way you looked at her? Don’t kid yourself.” Maiko sent her a cursory glance. “Don’t feel bad, hun. She played everyone who gave her the time of day. Can’t blame a doll for doing what it’s best at.”

“Fuck you.” Judy turned away from her. “I don’t even know why I came. I should have known you would be like this.”

“Oh, please. Don’t act all offended just because I told you the truth.” Maiko raised her voice as Judy stomped toward the door. "You know what your problem is, _Jude?_ You have no fucking idea what you want. No balls to find out either. Call me when you grow some.”

Judy slammed the door as she exited. That night, she drove to a secluded road just on the edge of the badlands. When she was far enough, she climbed out and sat atop her van. Her eyes focused on the towering pillars that formed the city landscape; monuments of metal and glass commemorating nothing more than greed. It was ugly as it was vast, stretching fingers of steel in every direction. Judy hated it then. Every garish, fluorescent bit. She closed her eyes, linking to the collection of data that housed her contacts. She deleted Maiko’s name and wondered why she hadn’t done it before. But the answer was very simple. It was the same reason why she still kept a pack of smokes in her dresser drawer.

Judy inhaled deeply, smelling only the cold breeze. For a moment, she imagined driving away for good – maybe taking Evelyn and Tom along for the ride. They would need nothing save each other, making new memories amid the sand-covered ruins of what the world used to be. It was an idle flight of fancy, but it was strong enough for Judy to realize what she needed. She would throw the cig pack away tomorrow. And the day after that… She would check to see if any nomad caravans were heading to Oregon. It had been a long time coming.

* * *

Oregon wasn’t anything like she had expected. The few shards she had on the state all detailed the rampant raids of nomad packs, endless drought, and the numerous ghost towns that resulted. The articles had made it sound untamed; just as wild as the turbulent outskirts of Night City. But what Judy saw upon entering the limits of Horse Heaven was fields of green and a cascading stretch of flowers. It was a startling change to the vast empty hills that had preceded it.

Her grandparents didn’t live in the main township, but the area beyond was still rife with flora. Judy half expected a few deer to spontaneously burst from the woodwork. But while Oregon had come far in their organic endeavors, repopulating the area with synth-made wildlife was still beyond them. The journey here felt like it had passed in a blink, but the drive to her grandparents' new home was painfully slow. They were sequestered atop a winding path, amid a thicket of trees. It was odd they would choose to be so secluded. They had always preached to her about the importance of community. However, after their years in Night City, it made a certain kind of sense.

When their home pulled into view, Judy nearly thought they had made a wrong turn somewhere. It was way beyond anything she imagined them affording. But the two people waiting for her by the drive were unmistakably her grandparents. As she climbed off the nomad truck, Judy was beset by her _abuela_. She barely registered when the nomads vacated, too distracted by her grandmother’s hurried inspection. The older woman checked her over, clicking her tongue all the while.

“You’re not eating enough, _hija._ Don’t think I can’t tell. And what are those monstrosities decorating your skin? Honestly…”

Judy said nothing to this. She smiled and let her grandmother do as she pleased. It was jarring to see how she had changed. Her hair, once short and dark, was now a long silver braid. Judy had been taller than her even before they left, but now she stood a full head above. Her eyes drifted past the woman’s diminutive frame and caught on the figure of her _abuelo_. He was darker than she remembered, thicker too. But as a broad grin stretched across his weathered features, she knew these changes could only be good.

They brought her inside and sat her by the fire. It was colder here than in Night City, the winds holding a chill Judy was unfamiliar with. She held her hands over the flames, eyes following the elderly couple. They bustled about the house with palpable ease – him, knocking the mud off his boots before tucking them in a nearby cabinet and her, ducking into the kitchen while snatching an apron from the pantry. They were fully settled in their new lives. It was somewhat bittersweet to witness how much they had gained without her.

The meal that night was finer than anything Judy could remember having. It was some sort of stew with soy-based proteins, but it had a crisp texture that felt like it should have been organic. As for the vegetables, it was clear they weren’t the frozen synth affairs of food stalls. It tasted natural, and when she said as much to her _abuela_ , the woman confirmed it.

“Organic foods are a Horse Heaven staple,” she explained. “All the surrounding towns benefit from it.”

“You would think that would attract nomads. The wrong sort. All the shards say they run amok up here,” Judy commented.

“Oh, they don’t pass this way. The cooperative keeps a tight leash on their products. Security is their top priority.” The older woman looked at her husband fondly. “They pay well too. Your _abuelo_ was stubborn, at first. Didn’t want to take eddies from any corp run establishment. The cooperative isn’t structured the same, but there were enough similarities to be hesitant.”

“You work for them, _Abue_?”

“I do. Run their engineering department for this sector. All those crops need to tended by first-rate machinery, after all.” Her grandfather leaned back, crossing his ankles. He scowled playfully for a bit before his mouth pulled into a smile. “Fought against it, but all the fight left me when I saw how they ran things. I’m sure they’re still gettin’ their eds, but it’s more… reputable? Not sure how I’d phrase it. Cleaner, maybe.”

“No corp is clean. Cooperative just sounds like one that took a fancier name.” Judy set aside her spoon, eyeing both of them. “Night City taught me that much.”

“It’s different here than in the city, _hija,_ ” her _abuela_ said. Her voice changed suddenly, something hiding between the words. “Stay long enough and you’ll understand. Night City only takes. Here there’s a chance for things to grow. It’s a different kind of life.”

“I know how it can be, _Abu_. I’ve lived there longer than both of you.”

“And look how much you’ve changed.” Judy blinked as the woman waved a hand in her direction. “Staining your skin with gang art. Dying your hair like a streetwalker. This obsession with BDs? The worst of the lot.”

“No need for that,” her _abuelo_ cut in suddenly. His tone hardened. “I told you not to bring it up. Girl hasn’t been here a day and you’re already badgering her.”

“You know I’m right. That city left its mark on her. She should have come with us, damn the police and their debt.”

“Judy made her decision years ago. Don’t go digging up things that have already been buried.”

“It’s fine.” Judy shook her head. She cleared her throat before looking at her grandmother. The woman’s jaw was locked in a familiar way, eyes wet. Judy’s heart ached for her. “I know it was tough to leave me behind. But I never blamed you for it. It was for the best. And look, I was right. You got out of there and it was the best thing you ever did. Tell me that’s not true.”

“You should have been with us. Every step of the way.”

“I’m here now. Took me a while, but we both know how I can dawdle.” Judy reached across the table. She clutched her _abuela’s_ hand with her fingers. “I’ll be here for the next week. You can tell me everything I missed while I do the same for you. What do you think, _Abu_?”

“I would like that, Judy.” Dark eyes searched her own. The older woman breathed in, small shoulders rising with her diaphragm. “You’ve changed in other ways too. You’re so much older. I barely recognized you.”

“I haven’t aged that much.” Judy laughed, but it tapered off quickly. She knew what her grandmother had meant. She felt it too sometimes; a weathering of her soul that she hadn’t quite made peace with. But some things stayed the same. She still loved them with everything she was. And Judy would still remember their time together long after she left. As her _abuela_ brought another dish out from the kitchen, she caught the faint scent of _calabacitas_. Her _abuelo_ sighed, murmuring something beneath his breath.

Judy hid a smile, digging into the fragrant pile of zucchini and squash. From behind the kitchen doors, a certain song played in an endless loop.

* * *

“You handled that well yesterday.”

Judy turned to look at the man next to her. They were sitting on the porch, enjoying the sun. The winds had settled in the night, leaving only a faint crispness to the winter air. Her grandfather was nibbling thoughtfully on the end of a toothpick, gaze drifting over the trees.

“You always had a temper. Same as her. And when the two of you got going nothing could stop it.” He chuckled faintly. “Didn’t happen too much as you got older. Still, you didn’t lose your calm last night. I’m impressed.”

Judy took in the tanned planes of his face before answering.

“I knew she didn’t mean anything by it. Came from a place of love not hate.” She looked to the sky, marveling at the unbroken stretch of blue. The horizon in NC was always a matte grey. Rain, smoke, and various other unpleasantness stained the color. “Couldn’t tell the difference too much before. I can now.”

“Not sure whether that makes me feel better or not.” He breathed in deeply and tossed his pick aside. “She was right though, somewhat. The city changed you. But I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing.”

“You haven’t been around me long enough. Might end up changing your tune later.”

“No, I don’t think I will. You grew up, Jude. Nothin’ wrong with that. Only wish I could have seen it.” The man tilted his head towards her. “You look a bit like her now. Hair’s different of course, she wouldn’t have been caught dead in those colors. But the face… It’s all hers.”

“You’re talking about Mama?” Judy asked. He nodded.

“Got her smile too. The way you tilt your head with those big eyes of yours. Sometimes felt like I was seein’ her through you. And I guess, in a way, I am.” His features pulled into something wry. “Bet you gotta fend off gonks with a stick. She always did. Till… Well, I’m sure you’re having better luck in that department.”

“Don’t know about that. According to a choom of mine, ‘my tastes leave much to be desired’.” Judy’s face fell as thought of Evelyn. “Can’t say she’s wrong. I don’t always have the best read on people.”

“Someone I should track down? Teach ‘em not to mess with an Alvarez?”

“No one who needs to be mentioned. I already dealt with that before I left.” Judy wrinkled her nose. “Got too many bad habits I need to break already. I’m done adding to the pile.”

“Good girl. But if they give you trouble, I promise a wrench to the head fixes everything. Old mechanic trick.”

“I think that’s just common sense, _Abue_.”

The elderly man laughed, deep and full.

“Sharp tongue on you. Quick footed. I’m glad. Means no one is likely to take you for a ride.” He reached into his jacket, pulling out a thin pipe. Judy watched as he filled it with tobacco. “You know, you should hit up Freddy when you get back. Old bastard was the craftiest son of a gun I knew. Could teach you a thing or two.”

“Your old friend?”

“The same. Never left that cabin he built after the waters came. He used to holo sometimes, but not recently. Would be interested in knowin’ what he’s up to now.” The man exhaled mightily, brow dipping. “Speakin’ of, you know she wants you to stay.”

“ _Abu_?” Judy considered that for a moment. “I figured. She’s been dropping hints around each time we talk. Subtlety isn’t her thing.”

“You’re right about that. I’m sure she’ll keep trying too. Persistence might as well be her middle name.” He puffed on the pipe, rocking gently in his chair. It was clear this new habit of his wasn’t borne from anxiety, only for pleasure. “I assume you won’t be staying. Would have said so already if that was your plan.”

“Thought about it,” Judy admitted. “Only for a second. Made me think about some things. But I don’t think I could ever go through with it. Not now.”

“Why not?”

“I have a life there. People I care about. Things I want to do.” She closed her eyes and thought of everything Night City meant to her, good and bad. She thought of the numerous struggles and triumphs she faced. The emptiness and bone-deep ennui. The warm gleam of Evelyn’s smile and the sound of Tom’s cheerful voice. “I think if I ran away now it would feel too much like admitting defeat. As if the city had won.”

“That so important?" her abuelo asked. Judy could hear the faint puzzle in his voice. Try as he might, he just didn’t understand. But that was fine. She only needed him to accept it.

“I won’t lie to you, _Abue_. It’s a hard, unpleasant place. If I truly thought nothing there was worth saving, I’d stay in a heartbeat. But there’s some good there too. I think… I need to know for sure before calling it quits. That make sense?” Judy took in his face, trying to gauge his reaction. His brow was furrowed deeply, lips curving downward. Then the man’s features smoothed.

“It does. Might not to your _abuela_ , but leave her to me.” He looked at her oddly, as if he wasn’t sure what to make of her. “Your mama liked fixing things too, you know. Not in the way I do. She would see a thing and dream up all the ways it could be better. Didn’t help her any in the end, but I hope it does for you. I really do, Jude.”

The conversation faded there, neither acknowledging the possibilities of failure. Judy wasn’t of a mind to entertain it and her grandfather likely felt the same. They were of a kind, him and her. But that was only natural. She carried so many pieces of both of them. It was easy to tell what she got from whom. Yet she’d never considered the fragments that might have come from a woman she’d hardly known.

Judy wished she knew more about the person whose face she evidently wore. Had she been just as conflicted once? Did she struggle with direction as she did? However, any answers she received would be disconnected at best. Her grandparents only knew their daughter from their perspective. They couldn’t possibly know everything the woman might have felt. But there was a kinship felt within their small similarities; an acknowledgment that Judy still bore a piece of the past.

She spent the rest of her time in Oregon with that notion lodged in her mind. It was steadying and as Judy got to know the people her grandparents had become, she felt a bit lighter. When it came time to leave there was still melancholy. But the edge was blunted, determination taking its place. She clutched her _abuela_ tight, memorizing the scent of her shampoo and feel of her small shoulders. She etched the planes of her _abuelo’s_ face and the crinkled edge of his eyes; it became solidified in her head, just as potent as any BD she made. Judy felt like she could move forward now. Maybe not forever, but until she found the answer she sought. With her mother’s picture tucked in her bag, Judy’s lingering doubts quieted to static.

People never really fade away. There was always something there connecting them to others. Judy found solace in this, the thought staying with her long after she returned to the cold streets of Night City.

* * *

Her life did not change noticeably. There was no clear mark of what her time in Oregon had accomplished. Judy still cut virtus for the Mox and worked toward cleaning the streets. Yet there was a stronger fire burning within. She pushed against Susie’s inaction, questioned her orders in ways she had never dared to before. She traveled the alleys of Jig-Jig and spoke with the workers there – encouraged them to seek protection at Lizzie’s, soothing their doubts and promising safety beneath the Mox. In some instances, she cleared the debts of those struggling to pay off their pimps.

Susie wasn’t happy with any of it. She scolded her fiercely and called her a gonk with too much time on her hands. Judy couldn’t say she was wrong. But so long as the virtus kept coming, Susie kept her grumbling to a minimum. It was a personal crusade at this point. She didn't need her approval. Susie could keep her bottom line as she pleased, and Judy would tackle the issues that genuinely needed solving. It didn’t make her too popular with the rest. Many of the Mox began to watch her with leery stares as if she was one move away from imploding like a star and bringing all of them with her. They whispered in dark corners among themselves, and Judy felt more like a stranger they tolerated than one of them.

A couple deigned to acknowledge her. Mateo, the bartender, still greeted her with a bob of his head whenever she appeared. It wasn’t much, but the man wasn’t the friendliest no matter who you were. He had liked Evelyn though – one of the few who had while she was here. Rita was also amiable, hinted around for free virtu sessions every now and then but she was harmless enough. Still, they were no substitutes for Tom and Evelyn.

While she talked with the former often, correspondence with the other woman was sporadic. Judy tried not to ring her incessantly for fear of driving her friend further away, but it was difficult when they could go weeks without speaking. She got the feeling it wasn’t purposeful. Evelyn wasn’t predisposed towards pettiness. Whatever the woman was doing it was keeping her preoccupied.

One night they managed to organize a small get-together at Lizzie's. Susie had kicked up a fuss. She said her club wasn’t meant to be a playground for Mox deserters. Judy insisted it would only be for an hour before they left for her pad, but Susie didn’t seem convinced. Evelyn was still a sore spot for her, it seemed. However, Judy was determined not to let Susie’s complaints bring down her mood. It had been over a year since she saw Evelyn properly. She was excited to chat with her friend and tell her all about the trip to Oregon.

Judy leaned against the bar, scanning the floor. The BD club was packed with people; booths filled to the brim with wreath laden heads. The upper floor was bustling with fresh faces. They were easy to spot amid the veterans who quickly secured their wreath before plopping down. A few gonks were dancing tipsily by the speakers, drinks spilling over their hands as they moved. It was a good night, and certain to get much better.

Then, two people she didn’t recognize sauntered her way. Judy wouldn’t have registered them had they not been so jarringly disparate in appearance. The man was broad, tall as a girder and just as thick. Muscle banded his frame head to toe, but it was his hair that caught her attention most. It was styled in the same Kabuki street-fashion that Tygers tended to wear, but he didn’t look like one of them. Had she been of a mind to guess, Judy would have figured Heywood. And as he ambled closer that impression grew.

To his right, a woman walked alongside his elbow. While her companion screamed of the streets, she was the very picture of a corporate warrior. Garbed in a smart business suit, the woman stalked the floor like someone who felt they owned the earth they tread upon. Her hair was styled just above her shoulders, just as professional and sleek as any corpo ad. With the flashing lights above, it was hard to judge her coloring. It was only when the pair sat at the bar that Judy got a better look.

She wasn’t unsightly. A little too sharp-featured and pale for her tastes, but the woman could probably be a stunner in the right light. The storm silver of her hair meshed well with the dark bundle of his. They made for an odd but attractive couple, if that’s what they were. The man smiled cheekily at Mateo as he leaned forward.

“Two Papa Garcin, one with a slice of lime.” His timbre was deep and pleasant. “Oh, and a glass of ice for my friend here. She has delicate tastes.”

“Ignore him. And make that one Papa Garcin.” The woman’s voice did not quite fit the package it came from. It was raspy and low, tinged with a faint drawl. “You know I don’t drink, Jack. Don’t know why you keep tryin’.”

“I’ll get you to bend one of these days, _chica_. Might do you some good too. Unwind that large stick up your ass.”

Judy half expected the woman to dress him down for the insult, but she simply rolled her eyes.

“It’s there for a reason. You think anyone would listen to me if I was a soft touch? Didn’t get to where I am by drinkin’ fourties and making small-talk.”

“So hard up. See, that’s what I mean. _Relax_. We only have so much time, might as well make it worth it, hm?” The man winked at Mateo when he brought the drink. “Good man. Quick hands mean a bigger tip. What do you think, V?”

“I think you’re going to get yourself mugged one of these days.” The woman shook her head before facing the floor. “Don’t know why you insisted on coming here. This place is a hole. We could have been dining large at Konpeki. Been meanin’ to check it out.”

“You think they'd even allow me through the door? I don't think so, _chica_. They'd peg me for a merc before I got near the joint."

“They would just assume we were conducting business.”

“Right, right. Business or _business_.” The implication was blatant as was his companion’s ensuing disgust. The woman’s upper lip curled above her teeth. Not a couple, then.

“My point stands. There are better places for discussing contracts than a third-rate BD parlor.”

 _Third-rate?_ Judy found herself bristling at the description. Sure, Lizzie’s wasn’t the classiest club in the city, but it was far from some back-alley mock-up. What did this prissy suit know about BDs anyway? She watched, listening closer now, as the man shrugged his big shoulders.

“Heard some good things on the street. They got an ace BD editor or somethin’. A real ringer.”

“That why their prices are so high?” The woman scoffed, looking distinctly unimpressed. “It’s just splicing sequences together and mashing buttons. Probably nothin’ more than a kid jerking off while spinning the tracks. That or some nobody ganger who refers to themselves as an _artist_.”

The last description was too close to home and Judy found herself slamming her drink upon the counter. Both of them looked at her in surprise. In her periphery, she saw Mateo’s hands freeze atop the glass.

“I don’t know what kinda club you think we’re running,” Judy began. “But our virtus are fucking _preem_. Take a dive before you start yapping off.”

“Don’t know why I should. It’s all the same.” The woman's mouth quirked with faint mockery. "Smut is smut. Throwing some expensive glitter on it changes nothing.”

“You’re talking an awful lot of shit. But I bet you’ve never dipped a toe into the scene.” Judy made a show of staring her up and down. “I know your kind. Piston and chrome is more your taste, right? You’d take cold, hard steel over human flesh any day. Any hint of emotion would only make you lose your nerve.”

“Cool it, Judy.” Mateo eyed her sidelong. “Take a walk. You know Susie wouldn’t like you talking to customers like that.”

“Susie isn’t here,” she shot back. “I think she would like it less if I let our name get smeared around. Bad for business.”

“I’m serious. Don’t—”

“It’s fine,” the woman spoke suddenly. She stood, and Judy was momentarily thrown by her stature. She had looked small and thin when walking with her companion before. Face to face, Judy realized it had only been in comparison to her hulking friend. The woman matched her in height, frame lean and long. She shouldn’t have been intimidating. The corpos Judy was familiar with didn’t look like they’d thrown a punch in their life. Yet something about the way the woman moved spoke of otherwise. She stepped closer and their eyes met.

“Say I give it a try. You gonna compensate me for my time?”

“You trying to worm your way into a freebie?” Judy scoffed. “You’ve got some balls.”

“I want a guarantee I’m getting my eddies worth.” She craned her head and the bar lights passed across her brow. The hue of her iris was dark; a deep grey color that reminded Judy of long, rainy days. “You seem very interested in proving me wrong. Put your wallet on the line and I’ll pay you back if I like what I see. We got a deal?”

“C’mon, _chica_. Making bets is a sure way to ruin a good night.” The big man tapped his friend on the shoulder. The woman ignored it, never looking away from Judy’s face.

“I’m playin’ nice, Jackie. Curious to see how this ends. Think she is too.” Her features pulled into something increasingly self-satisfied. “Unless you want to sweeten the deal and prove me wrong in person. How’d you put it... Piston and chrome?”

The offer was galvanizing, like clutching a naked wire. Something hot and angry settled in Judy’s veins. She shouldered past the woman, one word away from doing something regrettable.

“Get your kicks elsewhere. I’m not playing games with some bored suit looking for a thrill.” She didn’t for a reaction, striding for the doors with single-minded focus. Yet Judy could still feel the weight of the woman’s eyes upon her. She ignored it pointedly. Judy wasn’t even sure why she was so frazzled. She had heard worse from critics or people looking for an excuse to tear her down. Maybe it was because the woman reminded her of Maiko, if only vaguely. They both seemed cut from the same snide cloth.

As Judy exited the club, she scanned the lot in search of Evelyn. The woman had yet to show and the hour was growing late. She nearly resigned herself to leaving when the holo began to ring. Judy answered immediately, relieved.

“Ev, _finally_. Thought something might have happened.”

“Of a sort. But it’s been taken care of.” The doll paused, hesitating. "...However, I don't think I can make it tonight. Still need to take care of some things. Can we reschedule for next week? I'll make it up to you."

“Oh.” Judy’s face fell. “You sure you can’t spare the time?”

“I wish I could,” Evelyn said. She sounded contrite. “Currently with a client right now. He’s… a bit of a handful. Needs a certain amount of attention. I’ll tell you all about it when we meet up.”

“Sure. Next week then.” Judy smothered her disappointment and forced a smile. “Be safe, Evie.”

“I always am.” Evelyn smirked before cutting the line. Judy blinked as her image faded from her optics. She sighed and massaged her temple, craving a smoke. _Some night this turned out to be._ She should have known anything concerning Evelyn wouldn’t be simple. These days especially. That customer had already put her in a bad mood; this was just the icing on the cake.

Judy stared up at the dark clouds above them. With the thick light pollution, it was impossible to see the stars in the city. It had been so different in Oregon. Clean, clear, and beautiful. Suddenly, she recalled the request her _abuelo_ had made. Tomorrow… she’d drive out to the dam.

* * *

Her memories of the man only known to her as Freddy were unclear; muddied by the march of time. She vaguely remembered thinking of him like an uncle. Or what she assumed an uncle to be like. He had been short and squat, with a broad chin that made him look meaner than he was. Her grandfather always said he was a little ornery and stubborn as a dead tooth, but he had a clever tongue that held no shortage of amusing insights. Judy didn't know what Freddy would be like now. Night City – even its outskirts – changed a person irrevocably.

Judy found the cabin easily. It was the only residential structure leading up to the dam gate. It was small, lying beside a modest dock. The exterior was weather-beaten and it was evident Freddy had little intention of fixing that. As she knocked on the door, Judy wondered how he managed to live so isolated. But maybe it was for the same reason why her grandparents had chosen the same.

The man who answered was not quite as she expected. He was short still, but his frame was thin; near emaciated. Dark brown splotches decorated his skin in uneven patches. He peered up at her with a deep frown.

“I don’t know you. You from Biotechnica?”

“No. I’m Judy.” She paused, waiting for a response, but he didn’t seem to recognize her. Judy elaborated quickly. “You knew my grandparents. The Alvarez family?”

"Judy… Little Jude? Ray and Francisca’s girl?” The man blinked as if coming from a daze. “ _Fuck_. It’s been that long? I remember when you only came up to my hip. Now look at you.”

“Been a long time, I know.”

“Too damn long.” He snorted once. “Well, you look good. Surprised you’re still kickin’ around here though. I know Ray was worried sick when you decided to stay. Offered to check up on you, but he insisted I leave it. Guess he didn’t want you assumin’ I was spying for him.”

“Didn’t know that. I’m not sure what I would have thought.” Judy considered that for a time before pushing it away. "My _abuelo_ is why I'm here. He said you haven't holo'd him in a while."

“So he sent you to check up on me, huh? Classic Ray. Always buttin’ into my business.” The man shook his head with palpable exasperation. He stepped away from the door, gesturing her forward. "C'mon then. Don't want the cold air to run out.”

He led her inside, but not before eyeing the yard with furtive eyes. She wondered at that, but her _abuelo_ did say Freddy was rather odd. Yet for all of his eccentricities, it was surprisingly easy to talk to him. He had a quick wit about him that never seemed to cease and spoke in a rush when he got into a flow. There were times when Judy could barely keep up with the numerous things flitting through his head. She noticed that he often spoke of their days in Laguna Bend. It made sense considering his refusal to leave the area.

“Told them I wouldn’t leave. Fuckers didn’t believe me, but here I am!” Freddy broke into a cough on the last word. He cleared his throat as he beat his chest. “Had to move higher, ‘course. Try as I might, wouldn’t be easy to live down there.”

“What do you mean by that? About trying?”

“I go divin' now and again. Check up on the old places we used to stomp around. It’s all still there, you know. Just a little wetter now.” His tone turned wistful. “Can’t go as often though. Livin’ by the water like this has rotted my body somethin’ good. Turning me into a regular baked potato.”

“That’s…” Judy waffled, uncertain what to say. “Awful. You can’t get help somewhere or treatment?”

“Little too late for that. I’m on my last legs. S’why I stopped ringin’ Ray. Knowing him, he’d just get all bent out of shape over somethin’ he can’t help.” Freddy rolled his shoulders. “Biotechnica offered to make my last days a little smoother, but I told them to fuck off.”

“Why did you turn them down?”

“’Cause I know how they work. Besides, they only want to ‘help’ so they can get the rights to my body. Fuckers would love to study my toxin riddled corpse. You think I want to spend the rest of my days hooked to a protein drip before being hacked to pieces?” Freddy bared his teeth and thumped his chest. “Fuck no! Rather stay here and make a nuisance of myself. Die on my terms."

“You’re pretty alright Freddy.” Judy smiled, unable to help herself despite the morbid topic “I can see why you’re friends with _Abue_.”

“Yeah, well… you’re not bad yourself. Nice to speak to someone about everythin’.” He leaned back in his chair and looked at her fully. “Toxin levels have petered out a bit. Still dangerous, but not as much now. With some preem suits, you’d probably be set. Could take a dip and see the old town. I wouldn’t care if you wanted to use my dock and equipment.”

“You would do that?”

“Sure. I’m not gonna be doing anything with it. Might be nice to chat about Laguna again too.” Freddy’s eyes moved to the ceiling fan. He watched it spin in silence. Judy waited for him to continue, giving him time to think. His throat bobbed after a while. “...Hard. Dyin’. Never thought it would be so slow. You always think it’ll come quick. Kinda reminds me of those days we spent, waitin’ for the clock to wind down.”

“I think I know the feeling,” Judy replied gently. He nodded before swallowing thickly.

“Never wanted to leave. Still don’t. But guess I gotta soon.” The man blinked in a rapid flutter. “Do somethin’ for me, will ya?”

“Yeah?”

“Tell your grandad I died how I wanted. Don’t want him feelin’ bad over me.” Freddy’s jaw jutted stubbornly. He looked like he was struggling with something, but maybe it was just tears. Judy observed him, categorizing his features in her memory. She’d remember him when she finally saw Laguna Bend. That way, even in death, he’d still be there.

“I will. I promise.”

Judy visited Freddy every week until he passed. Their conversations ranged from long and involved to vapid and succinct. He was a good man, she found. Pleasant in his oddness, and completely unapologetic of who he was. Judy admired that, striving to be the same. When the day finally came, she spotted him sitting on the dock. His chair was facing the water, pointed in the direction of his old home. He didn’t look like a corpse upon first glance. With the sun on his lined cheeks, Freddy just appeared as if he were taking a long nap.

She hadn’t wanted to pull him away from there. Not when he had looked so at peace. Yet Judy knew she couldn’t leave him as he was. She gathered him up before driving him to a crematorium. Later, she returned with his ashes and spread them over the water. It was the closest to where he would want to be. Even though he was gone, Judy found herself visiting the cabin often. It was a great place to think and remember someone she had cared for.

* * *

As months passed into years, Judy barely felt the passage of time. Everything continued on a set course. Her, with the Mox. Evelyn, with her independent clients. Tom and Maiko, still settled in their lives at Clouds. Any changes, if any, were minimal. Judy could admit to dissatisfaction with this, but she was no longer a young idealist with hopes for a grand revolution. Her part was small, near inconsequential. Yet it was enough to stem the dreadful weight of ennui... for the time being. And each time her grandfather asked if she had found her answer, she would always say ‘not yet’. Nothing definitive had been settled, but perhaps this deadlock would collapse sooner than expected.

It had been a long time since Judy and Evelyn saw each other directly. Their last meet-up was mostly spent drinking and gossiping about the high-profile client the doll was seeing. Yorinobu Arasaka. Judy tensed upon hearing the name; not because of the man himself but the family he was born to. Along with Militech, they were the biggest corporate players in the city. There was an unspoken understanding that one did not fuck with them without grave consequence. She said as much to Evelyn, deeply concerned, but her friend was nonplussed.

_“He's a man with daddy issues. Really all there is to it," Evelyn had remarked offhand. “Pays well enough. Tolerable in the sack too. The man could stand to loosen up a bit, but compared to the rest of the Arasakas, he’s rather tame.”_

Judy doubted it was that simple. No one in that family could be so neatly summed. But Evelyn knew him better than she did, so Judy held her tongue. There were worse clients for the woman to take than a rich businessman with a highly respected pedigree. She only hoped Evelyn knew better than to test his patience. Docile dog or no, the man could still have a mean bite.

Then, weeks after that last encounter, Judy received a message from Evelyn. It was typed in the same sporadic way her friend was prone when she was pleasantly buzzed. Or when she was hinting around for a favor. Judy didn’t know what to make of it. It was a rapid turn around from the last correspondence they had. In that message Evelyn had been sedate, damn near morose. Now she was acting like it never happened. Judy replied quickly, curious about what her friend could want.

The reply was fast and detailed a request. A BD scroll. Judy frowned. Evelyn had never directly requested a scroll from her before. What was the play here? Was that rich client of hers pressing for a personal keepsake of their encounters? Judy wanted to ask for more information but knew a delicate approach might be needed. Evelyn tended to spook when she felt her carefully guarded privacy encroached upon. Nevertheless, that didn’t keep Judy from pondering the possibilities as she responded.

They met at Lizzie’s the next evening. Strangely, Evelyn was dressed to impress. Judy had to stop herself from shooting a dozen inquiries. Her friend rarely made too much of an effort if it was just them. Judy eyed the slinky cut of her dress warily. Evelyn didn’t seem to notice. Either that or had chosen to ignore it. The woman was staring into her compact, touching up her makeup with delicate strokes. Judy leaned against the bar next to where she was sitting.

“Meeting a client after this?” she asked. Evelyn stilled, eyes flicking to the side. She smirked before tucking away her compact.

“Not at all. But you never know. A pretty face can solve more than one problem.” She turned her head to the modest crowd. It was still early in the evening and the regulars had yet to bustle in. Evelyn’s stare seemed to track each head. “Lizzie’s hasn’t changed much, I see. Susie still doesn’t know how to decorate. Didn’t take my advice from the looks of it.”

“People don’t come to stare at the walls, Ev.”

“Maybe not, but there’s value in knowing how to paint your flaws. Makes it a bit easier to swallow.”

Judy frowned, a little disquieted by the implication. She opened her mouth to speak but halted as Mateo placed a glass atop the counter. Evelyn fluttered her lashes at him.

“Mateo, my handsome dove! You always know what makes me happy.”

“It’s my job.” The man rolled his eyes, but couldn’t quite hide his smile. “You look good. Got worried when you delta’d suddenly. Susie run you off?”

“I’m sure she likes to think so.” Something unpleasant crept into the doll’s expression. It vanished after a moment. “Tell you what. When I’m done, we can all get drinks and gab about the old days. I’m curious to hear about everything that’s happened.”

“Nothing much. Susie’s been keeping the Mox low profile.” Mateo looked at Judy. “Just a head’s up, she was on the hunt for you earlier. Something about those girls you invited from Jig-Jig.”

“Yeah? Well, she can keep hunting.” Judy sighed, avoiding Evelyn’s curious glance. “Just tell her I’m going to be busy. BD business.”

“Can do,” Mateo replied. He nodded at Evelyn before stepping away, tending to another customer. Once he was safely out of earshot, Judy leaned forward. She held her friend’s eyes evenly.

“You gonna tell me what this is about?” she demanded. “You know I’d do anything for you, Ev, but I don’t like being kept in the dark. Months of radio silence and suddenly you want me to cut a BD. You know it looks bad, right?”

“I know. And it’s not fair to you, but I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important.” Evelyn’s features softened. “I just need this one last thing, Judy. I get this done and everything will change.”

“That heavy?”

“Very.” Evelyn’s tone was hard; uncompromising. “I won’t sugarcoat this. It’ll be dangerous, but the risk is more than worth it.”

Judy just stared at her, caught in between worry and apprehension. She trusted her friend, but she knew the woman could be unpredictable. A large part of her wanted to deny Evelyn outright. If this BD could end up causing trouble, she wanted nothing to do with it. But this was Ev. Smart, vivacious, clever Ev. The woman was always one step ahead of everyone else. Surely, of all people, Evelyn would land on her feet.

“Fine. Give me the rundown. Do you need a rec implant?"

“Already done. Got the footage right here.” The doll whipped out a shard from her coat. “Just needs to be compiled by a trustworthy and oh-so-talented individual. When my contact arrives, we’ll head down for the scroll.”

“Contact? Don’t tell me this involves a fixer.”

“Alright. I won’t.” Evelyn smiled in the slow, lopsided way that usually meant she was hiding something. Judy knew immediately that her suspicions were correct. She rubbed the bridge of her nose.

“Fuck… I just know this is gonna end badly. Anything involving fixers ends up being a shit show. You can’t trust them, Evie. Don’t you know that?”

“I don’t need to trust them. Might not need them at all if their merc ends up being any good.” She took a languid sip of her drink. “Besides, I won’t be meeting the fixer directly. Only the person who’ll be doing the job. One of them, at least.”

“They got a known name? Established rep?”

“Not exactly, but the fixer seems confident in their abilities. Better be preem as hell for the job detailed.” Evelyn trailed a finger along the rim. “Did a bit of research myself. Her callsign is V. Part of some up-and-coming merc team. They’ve done a few _delicate_ gigs but nothing on this scale.”

“And that sounds reliable to you?” Judy scoffed. “I’m liking this less and less, Ev. If it were some crew from the afterlife – pros who’ve run the gamut from Kang Tao to MTac – it would be different. But rooks?”

“They don’t need to be the best. The BD will tell them all they need to know. From there, it’s a simple snatch job.” Evelyn took another steady sip. Judy didn’t miss the slight tremble of her fingers. “The most dangerous bit will be on them. My part is done. Just need to show them the footage and wait until they get what they need.”

“I hope so, Evie.”

They lapsed into silence and watched as the crowd began to thicken. The music increased in strength and the lights began to blaze in a flashing corona. Judy kept her mind on the present. She had no desire to think of the numerous ways this could go wrong. Yet as she saw her friend grow increasingly agitated, lips tight with tension, Judy could not set aside her fears. But this was Evelyn’s show. She was just a player in it.

After a time, a voice rose above the noise – low and drawling.

“Lookin’ for Evelyn Parker. Know if she’s here?”

Judy looked to the right, meeting Evelyn’s gaze. Her friend nodded; quick and subtle. _Showtime, then._ Judy chased down the rest of Evelyn’s drink. It was bitter fire, cleansing in the worst kind of way. She saw Evelyn’s lips tilt, her classical smile at the ready. Judy didn’t bother stealing a look at the merc. They were irrelevant. All that mattered was getting this over with as fast as possible.

Judy dipped into the back, BD shard in her hands, and focused on the task at hand. She had no way of knowing how this would all shake out. But she would do as Evelyn asked and hope the other woman was right. For her sake.

* * *

Judy didn’t think much of the merc who swaggered into her basement. The lights were too dim to get a good look at her, but the cocky stride said everything Judy needed to know. This was a person who had a high opinion of herself; likely some two-bit ganger with dreams of grandeur and not enough sense to be self-aware. Yet Judy didn’t get the impression she was out to screw Evelyn over. Maybe a little gruff and proud, but not manipulative.

Judy changed her mind once V stirred from the first BD. The merc’s eyes opened, dark grey eyes fluttering, and recognition sparked. This was the same corpo woman who insulted her work. The gonk who dared to make a thinly veiled pass disguised as a bet. Judy narrowed her eyes as she recalled the woman’s haughty certainty. Life really did have a funny sense of humor. Briefly, she wondered how a puffed-up suit changed careers into a mercenary. Whatever had happened, it did a number on the woman’s appearance. She was even leaner now, sleek clothing traded for worn second-hands. All of the woman’s prior shine had been buffed into something drab and muted.

Judy didn’t consider herself petty, but a pang of satisfaction struck nonetheless. Anyone who dragged Evie into their mess didn’t deserve an ounce of sympathy. Corpos were all the same anyway; soulless worker bees who didn’t care how the honey got made. This woman, V, might be one of the little folk now but that didn’t mean the cutthroat tendencies had left her. Judy would wager it just made her a more effective merc in the end.

When V left, Judy sat in her chair and waited for Evelyn to join her. The doll stepped close, smoke case open. She lit up with a smile.

“That went better than expected. Girl is clearly eager to please. Her runner was skilled too.” Evelyn inhaled deeply, blue eyes aglitter with her usual confidence. No hint of her anxiety from before remained. “I have a great feeling about this, Judy. Just imagine, they wrangle that relic and I can finally put Night City behind me.”

“Unless they get made on the way to Yorinobu’s suite.” Judy gnawed on her bottom lip. “Had a feeling something like this might happen. Shackin’ up with an Arasaka was bound to release the parasites, and now look. They’re crowding you like I knew they would.”

“It’s not like I’m getting nothing out of this. Think of it as a... mutually beneficial arrangement.”

“And what if word somehow gets back to him? He’s a powerful man, Ev. I don’t want to be fishing you out of the bay.”

“I’ll be long gone by then,” Evelyn said. She sounded firm, completely certain in her judgment. Smoke flew from her nostrils and obscured the woman’s beautiful features. Her gaze was distant and hard, staring past the present moment. Judy just looked at her, desperately wishing life would be kind for once.

A week later, the news began to break about Saburo Arasaka and any notions of mercy were washed away. The mercs had cocked up the heist spectacularly, murdering the head of the biggest players in Night City. The city was abuzz with the scandal of it all. Yorinobu finding his father’s poisoned corpse. The sight of two unknown mercs fleeing the scene and killing countless Arasaka guards. So much death... All because of one fixer and his lackeys.

The police were on high alert, patrolling the streets for any hint of them. However, Judy wasn’t concerned about what might become of the crew. She was worried for how Evelyn could get caught in the crossfire. The doll was just as culpable. If word got out of just how much, nothing would be able to protect her from Arasaka’s wrath. A few days after the news broke, a rumor broke that Dexter Deshawn had the mercs killed for their incompetence. The man himself didn’t seem eager to do the same to Evelyn. Nonetheless, Judy kept her eyes peeled for any hint of the fixer. No matter the threat, she wouldn’t allow any of it to touch her friend. Judy couldn’t bear the thought.

Evelyn had gone dark after their meeting at Lizzie’s. With everything that happened, Judy had been waiting for any sign of life from the other woman. And the longer her absence became, the stronger her fears grew. Then, a handful of days later, Judy woke to a pounding on her door. She stared blearily at the ceiling, uncomprehending. The noise strengthened and she sat up in alarm. Judy hurried to unlatch the locks with shaky fingers, gasping with relief when she saw Evelyn’s face. She wrapped the woman in her arms.

“ _Fuck_ , Ev. You have no idea how worried I was.” Judy pulled away to look at her fully. Evelyn appeared haggard; worn away like sand. Her eyes were dark with exhaustion. Judy was reminded of a similar night long ago when Evelyn looked just as she did now. Maybe worse than that, if she was honest. “What happened?”

“Everything.” The sound Evelyn made was more of a strained bark than a laugh. Her face crumpled. “I don’t know what to do, Judy. I just— I needed a familiar face. Someone I knew I could trust.”

“Of course.” Judy led her into the apartment, swallowing down her panic. Her friend needed her to be steady; solid. She couldn’t afford to fail her now. “Take off your heels. I’ll warm you up somethin’ to drink.”

“Thank you.” Evelyn collapsed on the couch, arm shielding her face. Judy kept her in view as she heated a mug of cider – the woman’s favorite, kept in small packets just in case Ev decided to visit. When Judy set the cider on the table, Evelyn’s face lit with pleasure. Small and slight, but it was enough for Judy to be grateful she kept them. Judy sat gingerly beside her.

“Tell me,” she said. “How bad is it?”

“Real bad,” Evelyn answered. The words were an echo of another awful time and Judy could only wince. The other woman stared into the mug. She clutched it hard, knuckles white. “I assume you’ve seen the news.”

“Everyone has.”

“Then you understand how much of a clusterfuck this is.” Evelyn sipped her cider for a time, appearing to gather herself. “Debts are due, Judy. And there’s nothing to show for it. People… _Powerful_ people know I was involved.”

“Yorinobu?” Judy guessed. She tried to connect the dots from what she knew but came up empty.

“A small concern compared to the rest.” Evelyn took a shuddering breath. “It doesn’t matter. Look, I don’t want you to get mixed up in this. I can go somewhere else if it’s too much.”

“Out of the question. You’re staying here.” Judy clasped her arm, attempting to show solidarity. She wasn’t sure how much of it was felt considering her friend’s pensive look. “And if not here, then you can camp at Lizzie’s. Susie might grouse but you were still one of hers. We’ll protect you there.”

“I’m not sure I believe that,” Evelyn admitted. “But… I’ll try to. For now.”

Taking the doll back into the fold was not a smooth process. Susie was angrier than Judy had anticipated and Evelyn was just as sour to be in her company. Yet weathering their spats was better than leaving her friend, so Judy did her best to mediate. They would calm down, she was certain. And so would the city. This mess with Saburo Arasaka couldn’t last forever. The storm would pass just like every sensational upset that happened within the city limits. Whoever was pursuing Ev would give up the chase as well. No one would pursue a relative nobody like her so doggedly. Or so Judy believed.

Evelyn herself was not so convinced. The woman became paranoid, leaping at every shadow, and refraining from standing in the open. She even cut off her communication line for fear of netrunner ears listening. Judy tried to tell her she was overthinking things but Evelyn wouldn’t listen. Eventually, it got so bad the woman stopped sleeping and Judy was forced to dose her food with light sedatives.

The worst part of all this was how reticent she was with details. Evelyn still refused to tell her who might be after her and why. Once again, Judy felt like the woman didn’t trust her. Years of friendship and all Evelyn could say ‘it was better she remained ignorant’. Hearing that hurt deep. When Evelyn mumbled idly that she might be safer at Clouds, Judy’s frustration finally boiled over.

“You trust _them_ to protect you, but not us?! I know you look down on the Mox, but they took you in when you ran from Clouds. Now you want to go crawling back. How the _fuck_ does that make sense, Evie?”

“They have security on every floor of that building,” Evelyn argued in return. “Tyger Claws patrol the area. No one makes a move without them seeing it.”

“You can’t be serious. The Tygers were why we left in the first place.”

“I recall. But I don’t have the luxury of choice, Judy. I can’t stay here, hoping Susie and her little group of poser gangers will keep me safe. At Clouds, I’ll have a guarantee.” Evelyn stared up at her then, more fearful than Judy had ever seen. “It’s like I always told you. Better the filth I know than the ones hiding in the shadows.”

Judy didn’t see the logic. The dangers at Clouds might be known but that didn’t make them inherently better. Even when you could see a speeding train coming for you, that doesn’t make it hurt less. But they were at an impasse, both too stubborn to come to a compromise. Judy left in a huff, both to clear her head and give Evelyn space to think. She thought her friend would see reason eventually. Yet she never did.

The next day, Evelyn left for Clouds and Judy was left with a million regrets.

* * *

Judy didn’t expect the call that came a few weeks later. It was V – returned from the grave. She was never there at all apparently. Judy wasn’t sure what to make of it, let alone why the hell the merc was ringing her. She had played nice with the women for Evie’s sake. That didn’t make them friends. Soon, it dawned on her why the merc even bothered. She was looking for Evelyn, angling for information like any old school detective. Judy didn’t know who it was that hired the merc, but she knew better than to say anything. If V wanted to get at Evie, she’d have to find another proxy.

Of course, she hadn’t expected V to be bold enough to press her at Lizzie’s. The woman had balls or an extreme lack of sense. Either way, Judy was begrudgingly impressed. But she was also growing increasingly confused. She couldn’t ignore the difference between the V who she had met before and the woman at present. There was an edge to her now that seemed both desperate and anxious. V looked at her as if she held all the answers to life within her palms, eyes bright with uncommon intensity. Yet Judy didn’t sense any aggression in her posture, nor did she feel any hint of anger towards Evelyn.

Wasn’t V going after her to even the score?

Judy didn’t know why she ended up caving. Maybe it was the pleading edge to the merc’s voice. Maybe she hoped V might tell her how Evelyn was faring now. Her friend had been distressingly silent since rejoining Clouds. It would be good to get some kind of confirmation on her well-being. As V left, promising to call once she found Evelyn, Judy made a private wish for an end to this uncertainty. For Evelyn to be safe and whole. For V to get her answers without taking the closest friend Judy ever had.

It was probably too much to ask for. Nothing in this city ever went smooth. She was proven right when V called once more. Evelyn was gone from Clouds; attacked by a netrunner and sent to the Jig-Jig ripper for repair. Woodman had _sold_ her off, the cheap fuck. He probably did the bare minimum before deciding to get her help. Judy nearly drove to Clouds just to punch his teeth in. Had he cared even an iota he would have taken her somewhere reputable. The man had enough scratch for it.

Fingers? Easily the worst ripper on this side of the city. He was known for botch jobs, shoddy implants, and general sketchy behavior. But that’s what cheap rates would fetch you. For the desperate few who couldn’t afford a proper ripper doc, Fingers was all they had. Judy didn’t like thinking of Evelyn in his grubby mitts. Who knew what that hack could be doing to her. Those thoughts were twisting in her head as she pulled into Fingers’ clinic.

Unfortunately for her, the ripper was in high demand and no one was willing to concede their space. Judy was familiar with a lot of the joytoys on Jig-Jig, but these were unfamiliar faces. They stared at her hard as if she was a tourist interloping on their turf. When she tried to explain the situation, they shouted her down. It was vexing and stretched her already thin patience.

Then V stalked into view, iron at her hip. The joytoys took notice and when the merc traded a few sharp words, they slunk away. Judy wasn’t impressed by the tactic, but she couldn’t deny its effectiveness. Maybe that board-room honed tongue had some practical use. It worked on Fingers too, though he was a bit of a harder sell. He tried to talk around the topic of Evelyn, pointedly ignoring specifics. Yet V finally got him to crack. Judy didn’t like what he had to say.

_“Mentioned something about virtus with… a moth, of all things. Said she’d be perfect for them, whatever that means.”_

_“You pawned her off like she was some fucking inanimate mannequin.”_

_“Because that is exactly what she_ _**was** _ _.”_

Her blood had run high upon hearing that. Judy slapped him, the side of her nails cutting his cheek. She hoped it stung. Judy hadn’t waited for V’s reaction, or to see what became of Fingers. She was done with him. Even now, long after that moment had passed, Judy could feel that same anger burning in her chest. That piece of _shit_ knew nothing about Evie. She was easily worth a hundred of his kind, yet he dared to treat her like trash.

Because of his carelessness, Evelyn was sold to scavs for their monstrous snuff games. Judy didn’t want to think of how she might find her. But the mind was a cruel thing and did not flinch from the gruesome possibilities. Judy gripped the steering wheel, breath coming faster. Something cold and jagged lodged in her ribs. She tried to push it away and focus on the road. Next to her, she heard V move around.

“Breathe,” the merc said abruptly. “Long and slow. You’re gonna make yourself sick.”

“I already feel sick.” Judy clenched her teeth together. “You saw the footage. What they could be doing to her.”

“Yeah. But it won’t help if you’re a mess when we get there.” She could feel the woman’s eyes settle on her, assessing. “Evelyn needs you sharp.”

“Don’t think I know that?” Judy’s grip on the wheel tightened. “You’ve got no idea how this feels. How hard it is to keep my shit, knowing she could be _dead_.”

“Won’t help if we end up wrapped around a pole ‘cause your head isn’t in it.” V turned away to stare at the passing streets. “Don’t think about what could be. Just think about what you gotta do.”

“Seriously? You giving me advice now?”

“Tryin’ to keep your mind clear. Bad thoughts just clutter it up.” V paused as if mulling over what to say next. “First job I took, nearly pissed myself when I got shot. Thought I was dyin’ for a solid minute. My partner, Jackie, had to jam the hypo for me. I was shaking too much to do it myself.”

Judy blinked at the sudden change of topic. She eyed the merc furtively but allowed the woman to continue. An odd little smile was on V’s face.

“Funny thing is, bullet was just in my foot. Hurt like a bitch, but wouldn’t have killed me. I couldn’t tell the difference. Jackie just sat with me though. Rattled on about some new bike he had his eye on. He went into detail, talking about all this gear head nonsense. Didn’t know why ‘till it hit me that I had stopped panickin’.”

“Sounds like a preem guy.” Judy inhaled slowly. Her heart-rate evened a little.

“Yeah, he was.” V trailed off before clearing her throat. “Teased me viciously afterward. Said all those years in… behind a desk had made me soft. Couldn’t disagree.”

They sat in silence for a bit. As they rounded a bend, Judy realized that her frantic fear had quelled to a dull ache. It was still there, firm like a spike, but the edge had been taken off. Judy no longer felt like she would pass out from the weight of it. She shot V a quick glance. Maybe the merc was a little more human than she thought.

That notion was grotesquely at odds with V’s actions when they arrived. She was quick and brutal, cutting down any scav that crossed her path. Perhaps once she had been a limp-wristed desk jockey. However, it was clear she wasn’t anymore. Judy was grateful for it, mostly. She hated senseless violence, but these scavs were another breed. They were monsters masquerading as men. Mercy was far from what they deserved. So when Judy finally put one of them down herself, she felt very little. If she had to finally become a killer, at least it would be done protecting innocent people from their ilk.

When she eventually found Evelyn, Judy knew she was justified in thinking that. Her friend was hooked up to their network, implant constantly recording. She was chained beside a stained mattress, the material covered in unspeakable filth. Judy nearly collapsed upon seeing this. Her best friend. Her Evie. Used up and toss around like a toy for the countless beasts of Night City to prey upon. Grief and hatred welled up like a tide. Death had been too good for them.

However, against all odds, Evelyn was still alive. They hadn't been too late after all. Judy held V’s eyes as they bundled Evelyn into the van. The merc had said very little throughout all of this. Her jaw was tense, anger rolling off of her in waves. She didn't know why the merc cared, but… she wasn't of a mind to question it. V had helped her save Evelyn. Dubious reasons aside, Judy was thankful for that much.

* * *

When V asked her to search Evelyn’s chip and archive, to say she was incensed was putting it lightly. The merc might have helped her, but that didn’t mean she was willing to put both her and Evie through that. Whatever was on it would only cause more pain. Yet it was true that without V she wouldn’t have found Evelyn at all. Still, Judy didn’t have to like it. She would do this one last thing and be rid of the merc for good. Then, she could focus on getting Evelyn the help she needed.

Most of the recordings were corrupted; barely operational and completely useless. Only two of them were viewable. To her relief, they didn’t detail the horrors Evelyn had been through. But they still were alarming, and completely changed how Judy viewed the situation with V. The merc and the fixer she worked for hadn’t been responsible. They were only pawns in a greater game Evelyn had played at the behest of an unknown party. It was hard to garner any details from the BD, yet maybe V would be able to spot something she didn’t.

It turned her stomach to think of these people exploiting her friend. However, it was just as infuriating to see Evelyn’s eagerness and feel her duplicitous intentions. What made her think it was safe to play games with them? What made her decide to steal the relic for herself? They were dangerous enough for her to seek shelter in Clouds. Judy was tempted to say Evelyn hadn’t been thinking, but that wasn’t true. She knew her friend. Evelyn always had a plan. This time, she just underestimated her opponent and paid the price.

Judy found herself yearning for a smoke the longer she thought about it. She frowned as she stared at Evelyn. The other woman had finally fallen asleep, shoulders ceasing to shake. Ever since V set her atop the bed, Evelyn had cringed away from any form of contact. She didn’t respond at all when Judy tried to speak to her. It was like she had retreated within herself, seeking to escape the hell she’d suffered. Judy felt helpless and so very scared.

After V finally left – in pursuit of the ones who possibly started this whole mess – Judy kept vigil. She sat on the edge of the bed for a brief moment. Her heart ached as she glanced at Evelyn. She looked so small now, painfully different from the larger than life personality she carried. No one deserved this, especially not her. No matter her reasons. No matter her ambition. Evelyn’s only crime was wanting a better life for herself. Judy couldn’t blame her for that. Not truly.

Idly, Judy considered where V might go from here. Pacifica was a wild, untamed district. The VDBs, or whatever they actually were, didn’t tolerate anyone diving too deep into their business. V just might get herself killed in her pursuit of answers. It would be a shame if it came down to that. To Judy’s surprise, the merc honestly seemed like a good person. Someone who genuinely gave a shit about what the scavs had done – who appeared to sympathize with Evelyn’s actions even for what it cost her. Judy wouldn’t say she considered the woman a friend just yet. But she was a pleasant face in a city full of hostility. For Judy, that was enough for her to care.

She stood, chancing one last look at her unconscious friend.

“I don’t know if you can hear me, Evie,” Judy whispered. “But we’ll get through this. You and me.”

Evelyn didn’t stir. Judy hadn’t thought she would. Life wasn’t convenient or easy like that. But she liked to think some part of her friend could sense her sincerity. It would be hard to bring her out of this; perhaps the most difficult thing either of them had weathered. Yet Judy wouldn’t give in. They would see this through just like everything else.

As the days passed, Judy kept that hope burning bright. She didn’t allow herself to falter, even as Evelyn remained unresponsive. Most of her time was spent trying to get the woman to eat. Evelyn wouldn’t make anything for herself, often choosing to ignore her needs entirely. When she did end up eating, it was by Judy’s insistence; movements slow and mechanical. But at least she was eating. Bathing her was a trial. Evelyn refused to be touched directly and – when left to her own devices – would sit in the tub until the water ran cold.

The worst part was that she never spoke a word. Judy made several efforts to get anything out of her to no avail. Evelyn barely acknowledged she existed, merely tipping her head when pressed. Her eyes were perpetually distant, far away from Judy’s reach. She didn’t know how to rouse her from that place and Evelyn seemed in no rush to leave. Judy considered seeking professional guidance, but she didn’t want to push the woman. If she went too fast, Evelyn might draw further away. That was the last thing she wanted.

“I keep thinkin’ one day she’ll just… wake up. Is that gonk of me?” Judy spun in her desk chair, staring up at the ceiling. Tom had called to check in on Evelyn’s condition, but there was very little to say. She still hadn’t improved and Judy said as much to him. Tom hadn’t been surprised, just sad.

“No," he replied. "It's good to keep some faith. Things look bleak now but you never know when she might come around. Just stay calm and take it slow."

“I’m trying. But I can’t do much on my own. Contacted a local clinic, but the doc could only remove her chip.” Judy massaged her temple. “Maybe I should get some proper help. Take her to the hospital.”

“They’ll charge you out the nose. Worse, they’ll treat her like a second-class citizen.” Tom sighed. He sounded weary. “She won’t get real help, you know that. Folks like them don’t give a shit about the lower rungs.”

“I don’t know. It might be better than praying for somethin’ that might never happen.” Judy rubbed her eyes. They were wet from frustration. “I feel like I’m failing her, Tom. If I just knew what to say…”

“Sometimes it’s not about words. Things like this take time.”

“I know… I know. Just hard, is all.” Judy cocked her head, staring out the window. The clouds were heavy with rain. The color reminded her of V, strangely enough. “Bad as it is, I know it could have been worse. The merc, V, pinged her location quick. Still, even a couple days with scavs had to have been hell. And who knows what Fingers did during those four days she was in his ‘care’?”

“Four?” Tom blinked over the holo. His brow furrowed. “Judy… You sure that’s what he said?”

“I could never forget. Why?”

“Because she was gone for a week before your merc showed up here.”

Judy stilled.

“A week?” she bit out. “That can’t be right. Woodman said he gave her straight to Fingers. The math doesn’t add up.”

“I’m certain it was a week. I use my regulars to keep track of days. One of them visits me every Tuesday. He came by both when Ev vanished and when your merc showed.” Tom rubbed his jaw nervously. “Maybe that ripper lied. Or Woodman went to another one first.”

“Yeah… Maybe.” Judy pressed her lips together, not quite convinced by the assumption. Fingers was a squirrelly pest, but he had little to gain by lying about something so innocuous. As for Woodman, if he had visited a more reputable ripper there wouldn’t have been any reason to give Evelyn to Fingers.

Three days were now unaccounted for. Nothing about it made sense. Judy bid Tom farewell and disconnected, but the thought still nagged; cloying and invasive. It was so deep on her mind that Judy decided to root through Evelyn’s archive one more time. Just in case she had missed something obvious. At first glance, everything was the same. She sorted within the mess, looking for anything out of the ordinary.

Then, she saw something. A faint impression, words surfacing like a stone thrown into a pond. It sent ripples throughout several fuzzy recordings. She amplified it, dread growing.

_“...to protect you, but not us?!”_

_“Better the filth I know…”_

This was the day before Evelyn left for Clouds. That one stupid argument that sent her running into their arms. But… Evie hadn’t been recording then. Why would this conversation be here? Judy gathered the tracks that had the impression, piecing them together like the puzzle it was. It was hard to stare past the corrupted data and see where they might fit together. However, Judy was a preem technician. She would get this done no matter the struggle.

Yet Judy hadn’t counted on what she might find when she did. There, between the noise, was _him_. Woodman. He was grinning from above, smile languid and yellow. His hand trailed down to his belt. It took Judy a moment before she realized what was happening. The static was thick, the recordings disjointed. Then the pain and fear came.

_“Better the filth I know...”_

Judy shut her eyes, and grit her teeth. Horror and disgust surged within. She had her answer, the scene burned into her mind. Her hands trembled as she disconnected. Three days. Three days he kept her. Three days Evelyn suffered, aware and terrified. And—

_“Better the filth I know…”_

Judy staggered to her feet, gut surging. All her rage and sorrow came flooding up, spewing out of her mouth. She fell to her knees, heedless of the sick. A choked hiccup tore from her chest. If she hadn’t let her go. If she had just convinced her to stay. If she had checked in sooner. If… So many what-ifs. Judy had failed her so deeply.

Was it any wonder Evelyn preferred to be alone, trapped inside of herself? The world had only given her misery. And Judy… Judy contributed to that. Her eyes watered and she rubbed at them. She climbed to her feet, wiping her mouth. Evelyn needed her to be strong. She couldn’t fail her again. No more self-pity or doubt. Judy would demonstrate her dedication by being the friend Evie deserved.

She wouldn’t talk about what she had found. Not yet. Evelyn wasn’t in the right frame of mind to unpack those harrowing few days. Truthfully, Judy would prefer to leave it buried in the past. But she couldn’t deny her fierce desire to make Woodman _pay_. It wouldn’t take much. Hell, if she mustered up the funds she could sick V on the fucker. After Evie was better…

Judy clenched her hand into a fist. One day, Woodman would answer for his actions. The sick bastard would know the same fear Evelyn had felt. Until then, Evelyn was her priority.

Then, one morning, Judy awoke to the sound of movement. It was coming from the kitchen; a tell-tale squeak of drawers and cupboards opening. Judy sat up from her pile of blankets in confusion. Was someone in the apartment? She jolted up at the thought, afraid they might have hurt Evelyn. However, as she ran from her editing room, it wasn’t a burglar she saw. It was Evelyn, rummaging through her kitchen with a single-minded focus. Judy didn’t quite believe what she was seeing.

“Ev…?”

The other woman froze, body locking up. Then she relaxed and faced her friend. Judy nearly sobbed as their eyes met.

“Evie, you—” She bit her lip, cutting off her words. Judy wanted to rush forward and seize her into a firm embrace, but she knew Evelyn would likely not respond positively. She folded her arms and tried to smile. “It’s… good to see you up and about. Did you, um, want me to fix you something?”

Evelyn’s eyes darted. She licked her lips, appearing faintly frazzled. But it might have just been the sudden lucidity. Judy didn’t know the psychology of it all. She perked as her friend began to speak.

“...Cider is gone.” Evelyn’s voice was rough from disuse. “Need some.”

“Of course.” Judy’s shoulders fell with relief. “I’ll go to the store. Did you want anything else while I’m there?”

Evelyn looked around the kitchen before her gaze settled on the sink.

“Cleaner and towels. You’re gonna run out soon.”

“Alright.” Judy frowned but didn't question the observation. She was just glad Evelyn was speaking to her at all. Maybe removing the chip had done more than she thought. Judy hesitated by the door, not wanting to leave. “Maybe I can have Tom pick it up for us. He's off today so I'm sure he'll want to—"

“ _No._ " Evelyn's tone sharpened. "I just… I want some time, Judy. Can you give me that?”

“Oh.” Judy flinched but hid it beneath another smile. It hurt that her friend wanted to be away from her, but it was understandable. She knew how suffocating it could feel when no one would leave you alone. “I'll go, then. Holo if you think of anything else you want. I’ll… let you have some space for a bit.”

Evelyn didn’t answer. Her stare refused to leave the counter-top. After a moment, Judy took her bag and headed for the door. Just before she crossed the threshold, Evelyn spoke again.

“Thank you, Judy.” Her words were softer now, genuine in a way rarely expressed. For a moment, Judy could hear the lively woman her friend had been. She closed the door gently, heart full of possibilities. Evie was getting better at last. Maybe she would never be as she once was, but that was understandable. Evelyn's suffering had changed her, but it hadn’t destroyed her. She would heal, eventually. Judy shouldered her bag and raced down the stairs, steps lighter than they had been in weeks.

* * *

Judy waited in line at the local convenience store, anxious to return. She had milled around the store for nearly thirty minutes, browsing the shelves with faux interest. Judy wanted to give her friend the time she needed, but it was difficult to keep her word. An hour was enough, right? Judy sighed, exasperated with her own impatience. Maybe she’d drop off the groceries before visiting Tom. He would be keen to hear the news. As she stood in line, Judy’s attention drifted to the screen over the cashier’s shoulder.

It was on a local station, broadcasting the recent happenings of Night City. The caster was currently covering some big shoot-out at a Pacifica church. Grisly business, but that was just how the area operated.

_“...say it was most likely connected to the slayings at the Grand Imperial Mall. Tension between the rival gangs has soared in recent months, leading to multiple casualties on both sides. Deputy Mayor Weldon Holt has advised civilians to avoid Pacifica for the time being.”_

“You buyin’ or not?”

Judy blinked, bringing her eyes to the cashier. The man just looked at her pointedly, tapping his metallic hand against the counter. She set down her bundle of items for him to take. As he passed them over the scanner, Judy’s attention was caught by the packs beneath the glass. Cigarettes. The same brand she used to smoke. She swallowed, a pang of want skittering across her spine. It had been a long time. Years. Yet she still struggled with it occasionally. The urge had been steadily growing for weeks ever since Evie went missing.

“Anything else?” the cashier asked. Judy looked at him. She pursed her lips, refusing to glance at the smokes again. She didn’t need them. Things were looking up and falling back on old habits would just stress her out. Judy tossed a wad of eddies on the counter.

“No, that’s it.”

The stroll back to the apartment was slower than the journey to the store. Judy stared up at the clouds as she walked. It was overcast; dreary and grey as it had been for days. Idly, Judy pondered what V might be getting up to. She had messaged her a little bit ago, curious how her search was faring. The merc’s response had been short, but not unfriendly. At the time, she still hadn’t found the VDBs. Yet her luck could have changed since then. Judy considered holoing her but stopped herself. She doubted V wanted to be badgered constantly. Their business was done and Judy had no reason to ring her. If anything, V was probably glad to wash her hands of them.

Judy pursed her lips, a little annoyed at herself. It wasn’t like her to be self-deprecating. She wasn’t the kind of girl to worry over a near-perfect stranger too. So maybe V was a good person after all. Maybe Judy was a little… _interested_ in where her journey might lead. It was just curiosity and nothing more. V had her number. If she wanted to have a chat or ask about Evelyn, then she would call. It was that simple.

With a rueful shake of her head, Judy hit the biometric pad. Her door slid open with a click. She took a step forward but halted as a pungent smell caught her attention. It was sharp and coppery, hanging in the air like a curtain. The bathroom door was open, bright lights flooding the room. A crown of dark hair peeked from the tub. Judy dropped the bag of groceries and rushed forward.

She collapsed to her knees, hands clenching the tub wall. Evelyn lay inside, pale and frightfully still. Her wrists were open, trickling faintly in rivers of red. Judy covered her mouth, a choked sob escaping her. Desperate, she reached for Evelyn’s throat in search of a pulse.

There was nothing.

Judy sought harder, refusing to believe it. But the flutter of a heartbeat never came. She trailed shaking fingers across pale lips, in search of breath. The woman didn’t stir, just as cold and frozen as Freddy had been.

Evelyn was gone. Her best friend. The woman she would have done anything for. Judy shut her eyes tight and rocked.

An hour. That’s how long she had been gone. One _fucking_ hour. If she had just stayed, insisted on Tom coming… _Fuck!_ This was her fault. She had failed Evie. Again. She should have known something was up the moment she found Evelyn moving around. The whole time, the woman had been looking for a reason to be alone. And Judy stupidly gave it to her without a second thought. She clutched herself tight, tears streaming hotly down her face.

This city. Always this _fucking_ city. It had taken everything from Evelyn. Nothing good could stay here. Evie’s… Evie was a harsh reminder of that. Judy sat there for a long time, uncertain what she should do. The logical thing would be to call the authorities and clean up. But—

Judy breathed hard into her hands. Her body shook without end. She stayed there in silence, the drip from the faucet her only company. Then, she wiped her face and rang V. She didn’t want to be alone. Not now. However, she couldn’t bear to make Tom see this. He didn’t deserve that. But V would be level-headed, steady as she always seemed to be. Judy needed someone to be strong. It was too hard for her at present.

When V arrived, Judy was still in the bathroom. She couldn't bear to leave her friend alone again. The merc was shocked when she saw them, but she didn't panic. She was calm as Judy knew she would be. Solid as an anchor. It helped a bit, slight though it was. Once the police were called, Judy continued to take strength from her. V said nothing as they waited, something she was grateful for. A thousand questions had to be flying through her head, but the merc seemed content to leave it alone.

“Thank you,” Judy said eventually. “For coming. And for… staying.”

V looked at her, those dark grey eyes of hers searching. Then she nodded once.

“You called,” she replied. “Figured it wouldn’t be for nothing.”

“Still didn’t have to. You could have delta’d soon as I phoned the badges.”

“Coulda.” V didn’t say anything after that. Evidently, that was all she wanted to say on the subject. Judy just stared at her, not sure what might be going through her head. They sat on Judy’s couch until the blaze of sirens could be heard in the distance. When the badges finally arrived, they pressed hard for information. Her little blow up on the holo had ruffled more feathers than she thought.

“And you're sure you two didn't fight just before?"

“Are you suggesting I did this?”

“Didn’t say that,” the officer spoke quickly. His expression was stony. “Just stick to the facts ma’am. Did you or did you not have a disagreement?”

“We were fine. She was… was fine. Better than she had been in days.” Judy crossed her arms. She could feel her temper flaring and did her best to quell it. It warred with her grief and she felt ill from the turmoil. “She told me she wanted more cider. I went to get the cider. Came back and… _Fuck_. Look at her! You know what happened.”

“Until we have all the facts it’s just conjecture.”

“Screw your _conjecture_. You just want something to pin on me.”

“The operator said you sounded manic; unstable. It would be negligent of me to assume anything other than the facts.” His eyes trailed down her frame. It was not a kind look. “You have a prior record of criminal behavior. Your neighbors all say you run with a gang. None of this looks good for you.”

Judy sneered at him, a hair away from snapping, when V came up from behind her. The merc stepped between them, hand resting casually near her iron. Her gaze was hard as the granite color of her eyes.

“People say all kinds of things under duress,” she began. “Her friend just died. You really gonna blame a girl for being out of sorts?”

“This doesn’t concern you.” The officer straightened, optics flashing blue. “The fact a mercenary is here only makes the situation more suspicious.”

“Got the skinny on me, huh? Then maybe you should take a peek at who hired me recently.”

The man frowned but appeared to follow the request. He stiffened after a moment.

“...You work for Peralez?”

“Multiple times. Jefferson has my ear as I have his. He listens to me.” V smiled tightly. “Now what would be the bigger scandal? A suicide, or a cop falsely imprisoning a girl over a little phone argument?”

He shot her a sour look but made no further comment. Judy watched, amazed, as the officer retreated.

“We have what we need here. You can notify the morgue when you’re ready for cremation.” He took his leave, exiting quickly from her apartment. Once he was gone, Judy glanced at the woman beside her.

“Was all that true?" she asked. Judy suspected Peralez had likely contacted V - on behalf of her own recommendation - but she wasn't aware their acquaintance had progressed. The merc certainly worked fast if she now held his ear.

“True enough. Might be embellishing a bit,” V admitted. Her expression sobered. “I wouldn’t have let him take you. The day has been shitty enough without an arrest on your record.”

“Wouldn’t have mattered. He knew he had nothing.” Judy wandered to the kitchen sink. She leaned against it, clutching the edge. “Don’t much care what they do to me. It’s not like I would be out of a job.”

“Sure. Still didn’t want to chance it.” V paused. Her stare fell on the bathroom. “...Got cleaner? I can mop up if you want.”

Reflexively, Judy nearly denied her. But then she thought of how she had found Evelyn and knew she couldn’t. The mere thought made her sick.

“I’d appreciate that,” she murmured. Judy looked to the groceries on the counter. Several packets of cider lay within the bag, along with a roll of paper towels and ammonia. “You were right, you know. About Evelyn.”

The woman cocked her head to the side, uncertain. Judy elaborated, eyes never leaving the bag.

“She had made up her mind long before I left.”

V didn’t respond. She didn’t need to. The weight of that dark stare said it all. Judy turned, reaching for the faucet. The water was cold as she held her hands beneath the stream. She scrubbed under her nails until the dried flakes of blood were gone. If V saw the tears spilling down her face, the woman never said. She was kind that way.

Hours later, when the merc finally sped away to parts unknown, Judy sat atop the roof and peered at the towering cityscape. She inhaled shakily. Her lungs still burned from the cig she took from V. It was a welcome ache, and she immediately craved another. Tomorrow, she would pick up a pack. Judy wiped her face, unable to look away from the blinking lights. The city leered back, each point of luminescence stark and accusing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry to leave it on a bummer folks, but sometimes that's just the way the cookies crumbles. Poor Evie, you were a cool character :(  
> Nevertheless, I hope you all enjoyed this long beast of a chapter. Next one will be covering the rest of the canon events as well a ton of moments in-between and after. Thank you for reading and if you have any thoughts I would love to hear them! Happy belated New Year <3 - AdraCat
> 
> (note: The last scene has been edited a little to reflect Judy's brief contact with the Peralez family)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you to everyone who read and commented/kudos'd! It really means a lot. Here's the final chapter for you all. I hope you enjoy~

When she was a girl, there was nothing more mysterious than the local church. It was far from the glittering spires of Night City, yet there was something to the sun-bleached stucco that inspired her imagination. Perhaps it was the clamor of its bell; a low and dissonant sound that echoed through her ribs like thunder. Perhaps it was the endless tide of supplicants who visited daily, clothing pressed to perfection and smiles never quite reaching their eyes. But it could have been simply the sheer unknown of it all.

Her grandparents were not pious, and so neither was she. They knew only the world at their feet and no other. Judy never thought to question it or wonder why they didn’t. But – curiosity ever-present – she did ponder the odd structure and its significance. Judy knew about religion, of course. But it was a distant sort of knowledge; one without hooks to sink into the meat of you. When she asked her _abuelo_ , he told her it was a place of worship.

 _‘What does that mean?’_ Judy had asked him. _‘What do they get for doing that?’_

The man had rubbed his whiskered face with consideration before replying, _‘Suppose they get answers. Same as you comin’ to me now. It grants them some measure of peace, I wager.’_

‘ _From a building?’_

 _‘From something that knows and loves them.’_ Her grandfather appeared faintly bemused then. _‘Was never for me. I’ve always been planted too firm in the ground_ _to consider_ _that_ _. But it’s a heady feelin’, ain’t it? Knowin’ someone out there cares. Bein’ sure you’ll have a place to go when the race ends.’_

‘ _I don’t get it,’_ Judy had replied honestly. Her _abuelo_ rubbed the top of her head affectionately.

‘ _That’s fine too. Life’s about findin’ your own way. No need to retread someone else’s outta convention.’_

The conversation ended there. And while she hadn’t understood what he meant then, she did much later. No, the concept of a god had never been something Judy needed. But it meant something to others. The same people who visited the church and knelt before the padre with crowns of water. This was the meaning they had found in life. She didn’t quite understand everything. But she knew the human need to have purpose. So as the days went by the church became just part of the landscape. An oddity, but nothing more.

Several years onward, Judy didn’t know why she thought of it. Yet as she sat on her bed, the heat of Evelyn’s body long faded, her mind took her back to that church and the possibility of an afterlife. The memory was fragmented, smeared like ink across a wrinkled page. She faintly recalled her incredulity that a person could be more than a collection of bones shoved into an incinerator. Dead was dead. Everything they had been was already lost. But something about the notion of a soul had been appealing. A capture of a person’s deepest self. Arasaka liked to bandy around that word too. However, she doubted they meant it in the same way.

Judy wondered whether BDs were the closest realization of it. The ‘soul’ made manifest through second-hand impressions. She wanted to think some part of this was true. Judy stared at the ceiling, placing a cigarette to her lips. She inhaled until her lungs ached. It was the same brand Evie had been so fond of. Combined with the scent of her lingering perfume, it was as if she was still here. Still alive and ready to walk into the room at a moment’s notice.

Judy exhaled and watched the smoke tangle with the spinning fan. It occurred to her suddenly that they had never spoken of what Evelyn had believed. Their talks were usually anchored in the present moment; reactionary rather than introspective. Evie avoided speaking about herself, and Judy knew better than to press. She was a woman who built herself into a fortress of secrets. Whether from pain or fear of reproach was never made clear, but Judy figured it was for a good reason. As it was with everything Evelyn did.

Yet she still yearned to know. Did she believe in the concept of a soul? Did she pray in her quietest moments and find answers there? Was she certain there would be a life after this? Was she there—

Judy blinked as her fingers began to sting. The cigarette had burned to the filter, ash gathering upon her skin. She shook it off before smothering the cig against her boot. Judy rose from the sheets, refusing to linger. For a brief instant, she had felt connected to her friend once more. But it was an illusion, she knew. Just like the times Judy would walk past the door and see Evie’s shadow in her periphery. Or when she’d stir from sleep and think the woman was still nestled in the other room.

Wishful thinking at its finest. Evie was gone now; everything she had been burned away and tucked into a little box. Judy retreated from the room, snagging the extra pillow from the closet. She clutched it to her chest before tossing it atop the couch. Judy had been sleeping in a little nest of blankets since Evelyn passed. It hurt too much to wake in that bed full of memories. The one night she tried, Judy dreamed Evie was drowning in her aquarium. She had awoken in terror, drenched in sweat and unable to rest.

In the present moment, Judy shivered at the reminder. She pushed aside the image and collapsed onto the cushions. Her hand curled around the bottle of whiskey atop the coffee table. Quickly, she poured a finger for herself. Pathetic as it was, Judy had done nothing but drink and smoke for days. She didn’t have the heart to do much else. In a rare burst of compassion, Susie refrained from calling her into Lizzie’s. She allowed Judy her isolation; a small but welcome mercy. Judy raised the glass to her lips, teeth clicking against it as she drank.

 _She died valiantly fighting the system._ Trite words. They hardly captured everything Evelyn had done and meant. But the Columbarium didn’t allow for anything extravagant. That one truth would have to do. Judy rubbed her eyes, frustrated at the tears that refused to cease. She hadn’t been prepared to say goodbye. Not yesterday; not ever. But life didn’t much care what she liked, did it?

Suddenly, the buzzer to her apartment rang. Judy stilled, confusion nagging. She hadn’t been expecting company. The only person who would visit her was Tom, and the man was booked up to his ears in clients. Judy approached the door with wary regard.

“Who is it?” she asked through the intercom. For a time, there was only silence. Then, a familiar voice crackled through the speaker.

“It’s V.” A brief pause ensued. The static hummed with the faint tap of footsteps. “Thought we could chat a bit.”

Judy frowned at the door, her emotions mixed. She had barricaded herself away for a reason. The night she had planned hardly included a merc dropping for a social call or a welfare check. Whichever this was. She didn’t want to face any potential judgment or pity. But Judy couldn’t deny the small part of her that yearned for human interaction – to keep the chill from her bones if nothing else. Despite her reluctance, Judy opened the door. Her eyes caught on V’s frame as it slid open.

“Come in,” she said stiffly. “Mind your boots. I just mopped.”

“Got it.” V bobbed her head, eyes roving down the other woman. Her stare was analytical rather than indecent, but Judy rankled at the look regardless. She spun her heel and returned to her makeshift bedding.

“Something you need to tell me? Or are you hoping I got more info from the archive?” Judy returned to her former position, swiping the bottle once more. V joined her, steps slow and careful. The merc’s stare settled knowingly on the glass, a detail Judy pointedly ignored.

“Already squared accounts with the VDBs. Don’t need nothin’ more.” V shifted her weight from one leg to the other. Her posture was tense. “Just thought I’d check on you. See how you were doing. Got her a creche, right?”

“Yeah. Told you that yesterday.” Judy tipped the whiskey with a twist of her wrist. Amber spilled freely into the cup. Judy didn’t miss the way dark eyes followed the liquid. “You come just to confirm that?”

“No.” V swallowed before looking away. A muscle in her jaw leapt beneath the skin. “Just thought I’d check on you. That last message you sent had me concerned.”

“What? ‘Bout getting shitfaced? Didn’t take you for a mother hen.” Judy’s tone was acrid, venomous. She watched as V took a step away in response and immediately regretted it. “...Sorry. I know you’re coming from a good place. Just hard to take, is all. Not really feelin’ sociable.”

Judy took a measured sip, avoiding V’s stare.

“I appreciate you checking in. I do. But I’m working through this the only way I know how.”

“I get it.” V moved closer, gingerly sitting on the opposite end of the couch. Judy didn’t know whether to be insulted or darkly amused by the slow movements V made. As if she was scared Judy would reach out and bite. “Still, that wasn’t what I meant. Visiting the Columbarium, commissioning that plaque... had to be rough.”

“An understatement.” Judy swallowed another mouthful bitterly. “Nearly drove away as soon as I got there. Felt like… it was more real once it was over, you know?”

“Yeah. Think I do.” V gripped her knee, expression pensive. “Look, I didn’t come here to scold you. Or tell you how to feel. I didn’t exactly write the book on grief counseling either.”

"That's reassuring." Judy scoffed into her glass. She eyed V askance. "You got a point you wanna make, or are you just gonna putz around until I’m good and trashed?”

“I’m getting to it.” V scowled. She appeared abashed suddenly, off-kilter in a way Judy hadn’t seen before. “Fuck. I ain’t good at this.”

“You’re really not.” Judy stared at her for a long moment, taking in the severe cut of her jaw and her storm dark gaze. V’s hand was coiled tight around her knee, nails digging into worn material. Her shoulders were hunched, as if she was torn between leaping for the door and folding herself smaller. Whatever V was trying to say, it was obviously something meaningful to her. Judy swallowed, setting aside her whiskey.

“Go on, then,” she continued, voice quieter. “I won’t interrupt.”

V straightened, surprise replacing her anxiety. After a while, she tipped her head in acknowledgment.

“I don’t claim to know what you two had. Won’t ask, won’t speculate.” V breathed in deeply. “But I know you cared for her deeply. That kind of loss isn’t the sort you bounce back from without scars. Have a share of those myself.”

The merc hesitated, brief and conflicted. Her throat worked in visible convulsions.

“Lost someone recently too. My partner, Jackie. Mentioned him before, I think.”

“I recall,” Judy replied. She kept her attention on the other woman, a grim notion rattling around her head. “...Konpeki?”

“Yeah. Fucking Konpeki.” V made a faint noise under her breath. “The one shared thread between us. And everything tied to just keeps unraveling. That’s not the point I wanted to make, though. Just the context.”

Judy watched as the merc fished out a key from her jacket. She twirled it between her fingers, seemingly lost in thought.

“His mother made an _ofrenda_ for him. Held a service with everyone who had known him. Felt like I didn’t quite belong there, but I stayed anyway. We ended up digging through a garage full of his things. Little mementos and all the hobbies he had loved.”

“We?”

“Me and his output, Misty.” A fond smile spread across V’s face. It softened her angular features, smoothing the harsh furrow of her brow. “I had known Jackie for a good while, but there were so many things I had no clue about. She knew him in ways I didn’t. Hearing those missing pieces mended somethin’ in me. And as we spoke – surrounded by the little pieces of who Jackie was – I could feel… I dunno. I guess a loosening in my chest. Like the grief finally had a place to go instead of rotting in my head.”

Judy processed this in silence, heart aching in ways she couldn't define. Evie had loved her mysteries. But maybe she should have done more to piece them together. Maybe then… Judy took a shaky breath before looking back at V’s face. The woman had raised her head during the brief pause, eyes cutting to Judy’s.

“I’m not saying it’ll be easy. It’s not like I’m clean of hurt or anger. But maybe it could help to talk to someone who knew her. Do you know someone like that?”

Judy considered that for a time, mentally paging through the people in Evie’s life. Despite her outgoing demeanor, Evelyn didn’t keep many close friends. She could be stingy with her thoughts; reticent with her favor. But the woman always made time for her and Tom. Judy had arguably been closer to her, yet the man might have been privy to the parts of Evelyn she hadn’t known. After all, Tom knew her long before Judy strolled into Clouds.

“Might do,” Judy admitted. “Been a while since we saw each other. Didn’t want to face what he’d say. But… I’ll give him a visit.”

“Good." V shifted on the couch, head jerking to the far corner. Her lips pursed before she climbed to her feet. "Gotta tend to some things, so I’ll leave you alone. Give me a ring if you need anything."

Judy stared at the merc as she strode to the door. Before V could leave, Judy called after her.

“V?”

The other woman halted in place, glancing at her with guarded eyes. The vulnerability so briefly glimpsed had vanished. Judy got the feeling V wasn’t used to laying herself bare. Whether mercenary or corporate rat, she guessed showing emotion was highly discouraged. But the woman did it for Judy, and the meaning of that gesture was acutely felt.

“Thank you for checkin’ in.” Judy wet her lips, averting her gaze after a moment. She rose, bundling the whiskey bottle and glass in her arms. “Don’t know what I’ll do just yet. But I know I got to keep moving. Needed the reminder that there are other things beyond me.”

“Yeah. I think I needed that too.” V offered her a tight smile that didn't quite reach her eyes, but the rigid set of her spine unwound. "Later, Jude.”

Judy blinked at the shortening of her name, too surprised to comment. Yet as V left, she found that she didn’t mind. The merc was still a stranger in all the ways that mattered. But Judy dared to label her a friend. She stared at the objects in her hands before tucking them away. Judy wasn’t sure taking V’s advice would lead to closure. Yet maybe seeing a familiar face could be the beginning of it.

* * *

Tom’s condo was nestled in the heart of Downtown. He had lived there for as long as she knew him, although he mentioned wanting to move somewhere quieter on occasion. Evie just remarked that he was too ingrained in the city bustle to slow down, and Tom didn’t deny it. Each time, they would share a conspiratorial smile over the obvious inside-joke. Back then, Judy had been somewhat envious of that bond. But she was grateful for it now. All those distant conversations played in her head as the elevator crawled up to Tom’s floor. She tapped her foot nervously.

Judy only spoke with him twice over the past week. Truth was, she didn’t know what to say. The first call was more of a shared silence as they cried and tried to process. She had never heard the man sound so distraught. The belly-deep sobs he gave had been difficult to witness. The second was right before she went to the Columbarium. Tom had wanted to gather some people for a service, but Judy had refused. He hadn’t pressed the issue thankfully, likely hearing the strain in her voice, but Judy wondered if he resented her for it.

Yet as his condo door slid open, Judy didn’t see any evidence of this. Tom looked haggard, eyes red and stubble darkening his jaw. But he offered her a smile nonetheless – heartfelt and full as it had ever been.

“Hey, Judy."

She didn’t know why the words impacted her as they did. It was just a simple greeting; the same he had always given. Suddenly, Judy was reminded of all the times she walked into Clouds and saw Tom and Evie by the bar. They would look at her in unison, Tom’s beaming face and Evie’s sparkling eyes glittering beneath the lights. Then, Tom would greet her while Evie drew her close, the two tittering over their clients with matching grins. Judy’s throat tightened. She threw her arms around the man’s neck and clung to him as tears sprang to her eyes.

“I’m sorry,” she sobbed into his chest. “I’m so fucking sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” he said simply. Tom rubbed her back, trying to soothe. Judy could hear the choked cadence to his voice as he spoke. “Not by far. I don’t blame you, and I know for sure Ev didn’t. You gotta believe that.”

“Hard. All of it is so fucking hard.” She grit her teeth, struggling to breathe through the burning fire in her chest. “Evie…”

“I know. I know…”

They stood there for a long while, neither willing to move. Judy cried deep into his shirt and felt the trembling grasp of Tom’s fingers around her waist. And as they shared their pain, Judy realized there was no recovering from this. Not fully. Evelyn had been the solid pillar they orbited around. They had loved her in the intrinsic way fish loved the sea or as the clouds loved the sky. She had been part of them both, and now she was gone. The realization was double-edged, eliciting both despair and wan acknowledgment.

Judy was quiet as Tom led her inside. She barely noticed when he poured her a mug of cider. Her eyes settled on it, mixed emotions blossoming. Tom followed her line of sight and winced.

“Shit. That’s tactless of me. I should have gotten you something else.” His frown was deep as he stared at the pitcher in his hand. “The taste just reminds me of her.”

“I get that. And it’s fine.” Judy shook off her nerves and cradled the mug. “Never knew why she liked it so much. Always made me wonder.”

“It’s a funny story. She got a taste for it after one of our more _interesting_ clients put through a request.” Tom chuckled, sitting cross-legged on his chaise. “It was her first week and she didn’t know what to do when someone did a surprise deactivation. So she wakes up – tricked out like a badge – standing above some guy tied to the bed. And he’s begging her to give him a hot shower, if you catch my drift. Guess he muttered the safeword on accident ‘cause he’s got no clue she’s lucid.”

“Wow.” Judy mustered a slight smile. She could imagine the look Evelyn must have had then. “So what happened? She end it there?”

“Nope. She never said why. Could be she didn’t want the client requesting a refund. But anyway, she gets the idea to pretend the program is still running. Tells him to close his eyes and wait for his ‘reward’. She skips out, warms up some cider from the bar, and pours it all over him.”

“He couldn’t tell the difference?”

“Not at all.” Tom’s lips pulled at the edge, fond and reminiscent. “She was so proud. We ended up drinking the rest as a victory toast. ‘The start of a brilliant career in acting’, is how she put it. I had to agree. After that, she hardly drank anything else for weeks.”

“Must have tasted like triumph to her. Like finding a loophole in the system.” Judy’s momentary levity ebbed away. “She was good at that. Always difficult to tell whether something was by accident or by design.”

“She was brilliant,” Tom replied. He held his cup up to the light. "To Evie, and all her complicated genius.”

The man swallowed the cider in a quick gulp. Judy noted the wet shine of his eyes but chose not to comment. They spoke further as the time crawled onward, both sharing the bits of Evelyn they had known. It was a conversation filled with little surprises and revelations; an unveiling of the woman they had adored. Judy drank in every anecdote and memorized each story Tom graciously shared. She could tell he was doing the same. Slowly, the broader picture of Evelyn Parker was uncovered. Never in full – no one knew her entirely – but enough to solve a bit of the mystery.

“God… I haven’t thought about those days in years,” her friend continued. “Forever ago now, yet it still feels like it just happened. Remember when she replaced Maiko’s tampons with cigarettes? I had never seen Maiko look so steamed.”

“One of Ev’s more devious antics.” Judy smirked faintly at the memory. “She waited by the lockers until Maiko finally showed, all to catch the look on her face.”

“What was that about anyway? Something about the weekly lineup?”

"She did it for me," Judy explained. “Maiko and I had argued the day prior. Long story short, things were said and she ended up calling me ‘a talent-less hack with abandonment issues’. Evie took it personal.”

“Bless her. Ev never did suffer gonks. You always knew where you stood with her.” Tom smiled airily up at the ceiling. “I remember this one time, Roxanne had just come back from the booths and Evelyn was talking to Woodman—”

The man stopped abruptly, jaw snapping shut. Pain flickered across his face. As for Judy, the name hit her like a slap. She curled instinctively on the couch, gripping the mug tight. The silence that passed was awkward and fraught with tension. Tom straightened, rubbing his face with both hands.

“I’m sorry, Judy. I didn’t want to bring up anything bad. _Ugh_. I can’t believe I did that.”

“We were talking about Clouds. He was bound to come up sometime.” Judy’s jaw locked as she stared into her drink. For a moment, she wished she was back in her apartment, swigging a liter of liquid fire. “...You gonna stay there? Knowin’ what you do.”

“Thought about leaving. Market is tough on your own though, and the other dollhouses are staffed up to their ears. Trust me, I checked.” Tom’s jaw bunched, mouth twisting. “Still, I can't stand to see his face every day. I’m not a fighter, but I would love nothing more than to… to make him _hurt_. I keep imagining his meaty hands on her, and I just—”

“I know. I feel it too.” Judy set the mug down firmly. She leaned forward, catching Tom’s frazzled gaze. “You can’t go back there, Tom. Not with Woodman and the Tygers still prowling around. I already lost Evie. I don’t want to lose you too.”

“I don’t have many options, Judy.” The man sighed wearily. “Suppose I could stay with the Mox for a bit, if that’s what you’re offering. I can probably call up my regulars and see if they’ll still want to fund me too.”

“That’s one choice, but I was thinking something different.” Judy joined him on the chaise, determination smothering the grief. Anger colored her next words. “It’s time for things to change, Tom. Not just for you, but all of Clouds. No one is safe so long as Woodman and those Tyger fucks are in charge.”

“What are you proposing?” Tom blinked at her with consternation. “Telling everyone to leave, or…?”

“I’m saying we need to wipe the slate clean. Pull the corruption up from the root.” An intense fervor burned within, scalding every word. She bared her teeth as ire raged. “We deal with Woodman first. Make him _pay_ for what he did. Then we get to Hiromi and force the Tygers out of Clouds.”

“Judy…” Tom drew back, clearly uneasy. His throat bobbed. “I don’t know if that would be wise. Tygers are no joke. You really wanna pull the Mox into a gang war? Would they even agree to it?”

“Wasn’t planning on going to the Mox. Wouldn’t mind their help, but it isn’t necessary.” Judy leaned away, granting Tom some room. He wasn’t wrong. Susie would never agree to clashing with the Tygers directly. The woman would probably kick her ass on principle just for asking. She exhaled in a quick burst. “We can take care of this ourselves. Will be dangerous, but if this goes right no one needs to get hurt.”

“How would we do that?” Tom asked, incredulous. “You might be street-wise from being in a gang, but I’ve never held a gun. Not even sure I could pull the trigger if I tried.”

“Wouldn’t need to. I’ve been doing some thinking and I think the doll chips could be used to run combat protocols. If they can run smut, why not something a little more advanced?” Judy paused, reading the hesitance upon her friend’s expression. “But I won’t force anyone to do it. I know it’s a lot to ask. If you wanted to stay out of this—“

“No.” Tom shook his head, appearing to stir from thought. “Wouldn’t be right to just stay on the sidelines and let you do all the work. And you’re right. Clouds can’t stay like this. People would just keep getting hurt; maybe end up like Ev, or worse.”

His head bobbed, but Judy got the feeling the gesture was more for him than her. After a time, he brightened. “We could change things for good. Give the dolls more say. But what if the Tygers don’t accept our terms?”

“We’ll make ‘em listen. Won’t give them any other choice. Once Clouds is free, we can ask for Mox support. And if I know Susie, she’ll be keen to grab a slice of the eds Clouds brings in.” Judy clasped his hands within hers and squeezed. “It’ll be a new beginning Tom. A brighter one.”

“I like the sound of that.” Tom grinned, wide and honest as ever. “Can’t deny I’m curious to see if you can turn me into a preem gun-slinger. I always wanted to star in an action flick.”

His enthusiasm settled the tight ball of wroth in her chest. Maybe V hadn’t anticipated her suggestion spiraling into a revolution, but Judy wagered this would help her grief more than any amount of talking. She considered herself a woman of action. Always had. Clouds was where her desire for justice had first been given its teeth. If anything, this had been a long time coming. Judy took in Tom’s eager babble in silence and tentatively hoped for an end to the long shadow of tragedy.

* * *

It wasn't difficult to tweak the doll chip by any stretch. Judy dabbled with it before when Maiko was still a factor in her life. Playing around with the proxy software was completely different from editing statistics. But Judy figured it out without much fuss and – using Tom as a willing participant – found herself armed with a ready-made soldier. Maybe he wouldn’t be able to square up against an army of Militech droids, but handling a small group of gangers was very much in his capability. With the program running, he wouldn’t even need to suffer any psychological backlash. In her opinion, it was foolproof. Or as close to it as possible.

The first person she wanted to enlist had been V. A bold decision on her part, considering the merc’s rising notoriety. Seemingly overnight, V was a hot commodity among the fixers. It was hard to ignore the murmurings on the net, all of them telling stories that sounded more unbelievable than the last. A few attributed the slaughter of the VDBs to her rather than the Animals. It was a ridiculous rumor, but Judy couldn’t deny the woman was gifted enough for it. She hadn’t expected much of anything from their conversation, but V surprised her with a quick acceptance.

Together, they approached the other person Judy needed for her plan to come to fruition. Maiko. Had she any other choice, Judy would have preferred to never talk to her again. They hadn’t seen each other directly in years; a blessing admittedly. Cutting Maiko out of her life had been a decision she never regretted. And as her former lover spoke with careless and irreverent words that certainty became all the more intense. When she reached for her – Evie’s name like poison on her lips – Judy flinched away. Her skin crawled as she stared at this woman who she thought she knew. Judy wanted to flee from that alone, but Maiko was too valuable a resource of the club’s inner working to snub.

V wasn’t audibly opposed, but Judy didn’t miss the tight curl of her mouth. The merc stared at Maiko like the woman was a rat she’d like to skin, and the image proved simultaneously amusing and horrific. But it was hard to phrase it any other way. Watching them interact evoked an odd dissonance within her. It was jarring to see a piece of the past colliding with the present.

Maiko eyed the merc with suspicion in return, posture deceptively calm. Her lips twitched into a familiar slant. It was a nervous smile that Judy recognized, usually given when Maiko was too unnerved to do anything else. Whether she was affected by what Judy said or merely spooked by the glowering merc wasn’t clear. Judy hoped it was mostly the former. Though she didn’t like to admit it, Judy still believed there was some good left in Maiko.

As they took their leave, Maiko refusing to budge an inch, Judy wondered what she had seen in her. Maybe it was the idea of there being something more to that patronizing mask; revealing a woman just as conflicted and worn by life as she was. But it had been nothing but smoke – lies told in exchange for favors and base pleasure. Yet the meeting wasn’t a total loss. Maiko offered up Woodman on a silver platter. Judy wasn’t of a mind to miss the opportunity or wonder why. Mercifully, V was just as eager.

Judy wasn’t sure how she’d feel when she finally saw him. Blind with rage? Too aggrieved and sick with disgust? But the moment he opened his yellowed maw and spoke, Judy knew only the rush of blood through her ears.

“ _She should be grateful. And so should you.”_

It was a funny thing, killing a man in cold blood. Without second-guessing herself or mulling over morality. Without feeling a thing other than the recoil of her gun and the splatter of blood across her chest. It was a mechanical feeling, like turning a faucet closed. Judy thought she would feel something more after he was dead – relief, solace, and a better peace of mind. But instead, there was only emptiness. Could be it was just shock, numbing her mind from the aftermath. Or maybe it was the realization that this changed nothing. Evie was still ashes, never to smile in the way only she knew how. The only good that came from this was that a monster no longer roamed the streets. V said as much, but the comfort was middling at best. Once all this was over… Surely, that long-awaited catharsis would come.

In the meantime, there was an uprising to plan. She was well aware one competent hand wouldn’t be enough. Preferably, Judy wanted to enlist as many dolls as possible to thicken their ranks. Yet most of the ones she and Tom contacted wanted nothing to do with it. Judy assumed it was probably out of fear and a healthy desire to keep the status quo. People generally preferred the devils they knew than any amount of uncertainty, just as Evie had said. There was comfort in the familiar even if it ended up ruining them. The only person who considered hearing her out was Roxanne, which Judy was surprised by. The woman had been friends with Evelyn, but she hadn’t anticipated her going along with this. She was so tranquil; placid in both manner and speech. But Judy wasn’t of a mind to question her reasons.

Within a matter of days, Judy called for a meeting to be held at her apartment. Roxanne and Tom would be in attendance. So would Maiko. Judy had been surprised by the woman’s change in attitude since their talk at Clouds. She didn’t promise anything, that was too much to ask, but she did express interest in hearing her out. It was more than Judy had expected. She half expected Maiko just to show in the interest of mocking her, but she would reserve judgment. Judy hoped V’s presence would be enough to keep the woman in line.

Judy found herself smiling as she thought of the merc, disconnecting the call to her favorite pizzeria. _A and A, artichokes and avocado flavor. And zucchini for good measure._ It was such a refined and atypical combination, sounding like something a character from Bushido would order. But V was full of tiny surprises. Judy couldn’t say she would be disinterested in learning more. She caught Tom staring at her oddly and frowned.

“What?”

“Oh, nothing,” the man said swiftly. “Just wondering why you looked so pleased to be ordering pizza. They say something funny? Or maybe you were just thinking of a certain someone.”

“Don’t start.” Judy rolled her eyes, taking the chair by her workbench. “I already told you it’s not like that.”

“Well, now I definitely know that’s not true.” Tom sent a playful look in her direction. “She’s a looker, I’ll grant you that. Bit of a hard-ass, but she was interrogating me so maybe that was a one-off. Striking bone structure though. Could probably cut a diamond on those cheeks.”

“C'mon, Tom. I'm serious." Judy tried for a scowl, but couldn't quite muffle the embarrassed twist of her lips. "That’s not why I invited her. V’s a preem merc I know I can trust. Never would have found Evie if it wasn’t for her.”

“High praise. Trust isn’t something that comes easy to you.” Tom smiled, taking the sting from his words. It was only a statement of fact, yet Judy averted her eyes regardless. She plucked at a stray thread from her overalls as he went on. “So tell me, is there a little something between you? Or does she only drive stick?”

“That’s not the problem,” Judy remarked with confidence. She recalled the first night they met. _The languid ease of_ _sharp_ _eyes_ _drinking in her frame. The sly lilt to V’s voice as she made her proposition._ It was dressed as a joke, but Judy had felt the authentic interest behind it. Tom clicked his tongue impatiently.

“Look, I’m not saying to throw yourself at her. Lord knows that’s never worked for the men I butter up. I just think it couldn’t hurt to toss a line out. See if she bites.”

“We’re plannin’ a hostile takeover, Tom. I doubt she needs me propositioning her while we hash out the details.” Judy frowned at the floor. She recalled the last time V was here with a heavy heart. “...She helped a lot. Before and after. I’m grateful, but it’s not anything more than that. Can’t be.”

“Why?”

“Just don’t feel right. Besides, Evie wouldn’t appreciate me mooning over some merc while there’s more important shit at stake.”

The man’s face pulled with surprise, brow arching high. Then, his expression settled into somber reflection.

“You know you’re allowed to be happy, right?” Tom asked gently. He waited a moment for her to respond. When she didn’t, he continued. “We can’t linger on the bad, Judy. And I don’t think Evie would begrudge you finding someone who makes you smile. That’s all she ever wanted for you. Told me so herself.”

“You guys gossiped over my love life?” Judy mustered a weak grin. “Didn’t know it was that interesting.”

“Was for a little while there. You have no idea how happy we were when you gave Maiko the boot.” Tom tilted his head, appearing to consider something. “I think it was inevitable you’d clash. She was too different from you; too quick to keep order. You’ve always needed someone willing to rock the boat.”

“Someone just as prone to trouble?”

“And all too eager to solve it.” He adopted his usual broad grin. “Think your merc would be up for the job?”

Judy wasn't sure how to answer that question but was saved from doing so as the buzzer sounded. Tom leapt to his feet.

“Probably Roxie. Girl always had an impeccable sense of time.” He favored Judy with one last thoughtful look. “Don’t need to make any decisions now. Just give it a think, okay? Would love to see you gushing over someone finally worth your time.”

As he went to open the door, Judy digested his words in silence. Neither Tom nor Evelyn ever liked the various women she tried to let into her life. Maiko had been at the top of that list. But it wasn’t just them who were at fault. Judy put her all into everything she cared for, and it was this intensity that scared more than a few of them away. Would a woman like V be any different? Was it even wise to take the chance?

When V finally arrived – ambling like a leery street-cat and shoulders coiled tight – her eyes fell immediately on Judy. She didn’t smile, but the hard expression she wore thawed. Even when they first met, Judy had never dared describe V as soft. But there was a gentleness to her face that she hadn’t seen before, or maybe just never noticed. It wasn’t proof of anything. Still, it was something pleasant and made Judy think that V just might be worth the trouble.

All those airy musings fled the moment Maiko walked through the door. Her heels clipped against the linoleum in vicious strikes, matching the sharp edge of her smile. She was a knife wrapped in lipstick and silk; ready with a catty gibe at every turn. V tolerated her presence even less than before. For a moment, Judy just allowed them to snipe at each other. It was better to let them get it out of their system. However, she couldn’t deny the petty part of her that enjoyed V’s distaste for Maiko. There was something intriguing about the rigid cross of her arms and the fiery gleam of her stare. Anger looked good on her.

The instant Judy became aware of her somewhat inappropriate attraction, she put an end to their spat. There would be time to consider this further once Clouds was given independence. Until then, they had a revolution to plan. It was a bit of a struggle to convince all the parties involved. Maiko was skeptical of the entire thing, but Judy had anticipated this. The former doll was a born pessimist; one of the many reasons why they perpetually squabbled. V was a little more receptive but only jumped completely on board once Tom laid her flat. The look on her face alone was a pleasure to see.

At last, everything seemed like it was finally coming together. Judy could feel her heart race with anticipation as she thought of the coming days. Soon, no one else would need to suffer between the Tyger’s jaws. Evie’s fate wouldn’t be repeated, and the vicious grind of Night City might finally be put to a halt. So as the others left, Judy turned to V with a hesitant grin. She wanted to say so much to the other woman, express everything she had been thinking, and more. Judy settled for offering payment, the least she could do considering everything. Yet V – ever full of surprises – turned the offer down.

Had anyone ever done anything for her without strings? Other than her closest friends, Judy had never experienced genuine altruism. It wasn’t the way of the streets, hungry and treacherous as they were. A well of fondness opened within, bringing with it a desire to press her mouth to the bow of V’s lips. Judy nearly placed her hand atop the merc's knee when V suddenly doubled over. It was alarming, as was the blanched shade of her skin and sweat dampening her brow. But nothing was more frightful than what she revealed.

“ _That biochip… well, long story short, it had Johnny Silverhand’s mind on it. An engram of it that’s overwriting my mind.”_

_“You bein’ serious?”_

_“Truly wish I wasn’t.”_

Judy didn’t know how to process that; couldn’t even think of a way to begin. It wasn't quite the same as being dead, but it might as well be. She had done some research on engrams since V first mentioned it all those weeks ago. Far as she knew, no one had perfected the process of overwriting a person’s brain – not without glaring flaws or corruption. Yet Arasaka had cracked the method. Humanity was given a physical soul at last and V was living proof of it. Judy watched her from afar, taking in the merc’s limp frame.

She appeared to be sound asleep, whispering snores escaping her now and then. Her features were painfully soft like this. She looked young, Judy realized. At first, she had V pegged to be at least five years her senior, but Judy reconsidered that now. Maybe it was just the shadows lining her eyes that aged her so severely. It was heartbreaking to think they might be around the same age. So much time yet to live, and all of it soon to be given to a ghost of ones and zeros.

It wasn’t fair. Just like everything else in Night City. Judy ripped her eyes away and stood by the kitchen sink. She splashed her face, the lukewarm water doing little to ease the chill she felt. Maybe they could have had something good; something _real_. But Judy had no intention of clinging to a woman on borrowed time. Still, that didn’t stop the bitter taste of disappointment to flood her mouth, nor did it keep her from imagining what might have been.

* * *

That night, Judy did not sleep with ease. She woke sporadically and often, pulse racing in tumult. A portion of it was anxiety, but at its heart was a bone-deep dread she couldn’t define. As dawn began to break, she finally gave in and rose from her pile of blankets. With V taking the couch, Judy decided to rest in her editing room. Using her bed was still a hurdle she couldn’t quite brave. She rolled her stiff shoulders before heading for the kitchen. Judy halted as she saw the figure leaning against the aquarium.

V stared into the glass with unwavering focus. One hand was placed to its surface, the other clutching a cigarette between her fingers. Judy frowned. She hadn’t pegged V for a smoker. That day on the roof, the merc noticeably did not join her as Judy lit up. The habit must have been new, possibly borne from stress. Judy shook her musings aside and addressed the other woman.

“Didn’t think you’d be awake. Three in the mornin’, and all.” She waited for V to respond, but the merc was silent. She didn’t even appear to notice Judy was there. Slightly annoyed by the rebuff, Judy trudged to the fridge. Just as she was about to tuck into a bottle of water, V’s voice broke the quiet. Her intonation was deeper than usual; choppier.

“What’s the point behind a tank full of plastic fish? Gonk thing to do.” V raised the cigarette to her lips. “Like keeping a leash on a cactus. Don’t tell me you feed ‘em.”

“I don’t... I just like how it looks.” Judy bristled, thrown by the sudden criticism. “The hell’s gotten into you? Bad sleep or something?”

“Or somethin’.” An ugly grin carved its way across V’s mouth; sneering and oily. It set Judy’s teeth on edge, but couldn’t quite place why. “You’re more well-off than most. Just lookin’ around here and I can tell that much. Real fish wouldn’t be outside your means. So maybe you just don’t like the responsibility. You do got a bad track record of taking care of things that depend on you.”

Rage surged like wildfire inside her. Judy rushed forward, flushed with ire, and yanked V’s arm. They stared directly at each other, but the words she was going to say died on her tongue. V’s eyes were bright, lit silver in the dark. Yet what lay within was all ice – cold and hard with disdain. V had never looked at her like that before. Something clicked in Judy’s head; a recognition of what this truly was.

“You’re that engram in her head. The construct.” She recoiled, stepping several steps backward. V – no – the _thing_ wearing her face smiled.

“Well, now… Look at you. Bright and pretty. Dangerous combination.” The construct wrapped V’s lips around the cig and inhaled deep. “Can see why V is so quick to come to heel. I bet you love leading her on, too. Already got that Clouds rag panting for another taste. That your game?”

“Fuck off.” Judy swallowed, flinching at the accusation. Logically, she knew it wasn’t V talking. But it was her face; her voice. It hurt hearing something so cruel come from her. “I’m not— You’re implying I’m using her. That isn’t what this is.”

“That so? So when everything goes down, you gonna be there to pull V’s ass from the fire?” The construct leaned away, tipping a length of ash onto the floor. “Or are you gonna listen and watch as she does the hard part?”

“Hiromi’s guards are common thugs. He won’t be expecting a merc of V’s caliber.” Judy crossed her arms, defensive. “I’ve seen her in action. She’ll wipe them out without blinking.”

“So shortsighted. It’s honestly pathetic. And all this trouble over a house of _dolls_.” The construct waved V’s hand dismissively before sprawling along the couch. It didn’t move like V at all, and the difference was both reassuring and unnerving. “Known plenty of people like you. Think you’re the first person who tried to change things in this city? Wake up, ‘cause you’re not. And you won’t be the last.”

“So I shouldn’t even try?”

“Not when you’re on V’s time,” the construct replied. It glowered at her from the shadows, silvery stare assessing. “Spent plenty of time in these boots. Know by now what to expect of her. V’s like a starving stray you can’t shake off. Once she gets a taste for you, that’s it. Done deal. She’ll run herself off a cliff if it means keeping that tang in her mouth.”

“It won’t come to that.” Judy grimaced, hands balling. “I’m not planning to get her flatlined. The whole point of this is so people don’t get hurt.”

“Best laid plans often go to shit. Heard that somewhere once, but it doesn’t ever stop being true.” The construct flicked the cigarette away, heedless of where it fell. Then, the construct reached into V's jacket and pulled out a blue pill bottle. "You want some solid advice? Don’t get V more involved in your crap, and stay out of her life. Better that way for all involved.”

“Kind of you, but excuse me if I’m not rushing to listen to the advice of a dead man.” Judy’s lips thinned as defiance curled in her gut. “Whatever comes of our relationship, we sure as hell don’t need your permission. If she wants me, that’s her business.”

The construct peered at her silently for a time. It narrowed V’s eyes before sliding the bottle cap.

“Bright and pretty, but none too wise. Gonna drown in a flood of your own makin’.” V’s hand placed a pill on her tongue. “Just know I’ll be watching to see how this ends. Who knows? Maybe you’ll get the chance to cozy between V’s thighs before it all goes to hell.”

Judy felt her stomach clench, unable to speak. She watched as the construct appeared to relax and drift to sleep. Judy didn’t know the relic functioned, but she assumed V wouldn’t have any memory of this. The notion was convenient as it was vexing. Judy stalked to the bathroom and leaned against the sink. She washed her face vigorously.

That engram _fuck_ didn’t know anything. Her plan might not be foolproof, but this was the best option they had. The Tygers needed to be excised from Clouds, not bargained with. Parasites like them didn’t know any other language besides force. Once she secured Mox support, Clouds could stand on its own feet. It worked for Lizzie’s. It had to work again. As for the dangers, Judy wasn’t ignorant. There was a good chance something would go tits up and someone would get hurt. Might even be Tom or V.

 _Can’t stop now. Gotta keep pressing onward._ Judy stared into the mirror. Her features were drawn, jaw pinched tight like a spring. The plan had to work. If not— Judy bowed her head, breathing hard. The smell of rust and death spawned from her memory. She avoided looking directly at the tub. After an undefined period, Judy raised her head. She pushed away from the sink and gathered herself.

When the time came, she wouldn’t balk or hesitate. Clouds would be free, and the Tygers would no longer darken their door. Tom and Roxanne could manage the club from there with supervision from Maiko. All the dolls, past and present, would benefit from this change. As for V, Judy had a feeling she’d find some way to escape her fate. She was too resourceful not to. And Judy wanted to be there once she did. Damn the relic and everything else with it.

A couple of days later, her resolve appeared to pay off. They infiltrated Clouds and Hiromi’s penthouse without a hitch. With the chips active, Tom and Roxanne were indomitable forces of nature. They easily dispatched the small cluster of Tygers and held the perimeter as V confronted Hiromi. Judy watched from the feeds, excitement mounting. But her brief joy was immediately dashed as Maiko tried to screw them over.

Instead of following her plan, the former doll vied for the Tyger’s to replace Hiromi with her. It was just like Maiko to use this as an opportunity to climb the ranks. Judy wasn’t sure how V would handle the situation, but the merc didn’t disappoint. She declared Clouds independent as Judy wanted and dispatched the gangers deftly. They barely twitched before V filled them full of holes. Bloodshed hadn’t been a part of the plan, but it was clear the Tygers didn’t give her any choice. Yet when it came to Maiko, V was surprisingly merciful. Judy wasn’t sure whether it was pity or just restraint on her part, but she was glad for it. Maybe this would even knock some sense into Maiko’s head.

After everything was said and done, Judy met V in the megabuilding plaza. Despite the anger she felt over Maiko, a heady feeling of triumph coursed through her. Everyone was safe and whole. Clouds was free at last. And V… V was the rock-steady friend she needed after so much struggle. No matter what was in store for them, Judy was glad to know her.

Before they parted, she placed a tentative kiss on V's cheek and enjoyed the shock that lay in those dark eyes. It was nothing more than a brief press of skin, hardly enough for Judy to feel her fully. But had she done so, she was sure V would taste like victory. As she left, Judy could feel the weight of V’s gaze and knew the merc wanted her in return. It was meant to be a simple gesture of gratitude. Yet she couldn’t deny the desire to lay a small claim of her own. Judy hoped the construct had seen, fuming in its helplessness.

When Judy finally returned to her apartment, she tossed herself onto her bed and smiled into the pillow. Evelyn’s perfume still lingered in the sheets, but instead of eliciting agony, it brought comfort. Against the odds, they had succeeded. The Tygers and Woodman were gone. Soon, they would only be a bad memory in the minds of all who worked there. Judy closed her eyes and fell into a dreamless sleep. There would be time to sort everything else. For now, she would rest with a peace of mind she hadn’t had in months.

* * *

“Absolutely not.”

Judy stilled, expression falling. Her smile withered into a tight purse. She watched as Susie switched through the cameras, seeming to disregard her entirely. Judy bristled but didn't allow any irritation to leak into her speech.

“Why? I already told you it’s a sure thing. You won’t have to raise a finger.” She walked into the other woman’s line of sight. “Just a little muscle at the door and inside—”

“Maybe that job burst your eardrums, ‘cause I’m pretty sure I already told your ass no,” Susie interrupted. She leaned back in her chair with a scowl. “The Mox had nothing to do with your little escapade, and we have no intention of getting involved now. You should know better.”

“It’s already done, Suze. Clouds is free territory.” Judy sighed with frustration. “I don’t get why you’re bein’ so stubborn. I’m offering you a cut of Clouds’ profit and a chance to expand the Mox. Why aren’t you jumping on this?”

“Because I don’t have a death wish, that’s why. You think those Tyger shits are gonna let this stand? _Fuck no_.” Susie’s face hardened into a grim mask. “A reckoning is comin’ for your dolls and I don’t want any part of that bloodbath. There’s always been one rule in Japantown, Judy. Don’t yank the Tyger’s tail. And you’re the gonk bitch who decided to cut the whole damn thing off.”

“The Mox can fend them off. Did it for Lizzie’s.”

“What happened then is a whole different story. Lizzie’s was a small no-name dive that barely turned a profit. Clouds? That was their golden cow, and _you_ ripped it away from them.”

“I get it’s a risk, but we’re not without means. Just let me show you my combat protocols in action. Then…” Judy trailed off, heart sinking as Susie shook her head. She held her tongue once the older woman spoke again.

“You’re talented. Always have been. But you’re also impulsive and idealistic. Shitty-traits to have in a city like this.” Susie rubbed the metal lip of her face-plate. She looked exhausted suddenly. “Thought you’d outgrow it. Most people do. Might be why your work is so precise; you just don’t know how to quit. But you’ve dug a hole I can’t get you out of, Judy. Not this time.”

“What are you saying?” Judy asked, throat tight. Susie just looked at her evenly.

“Sayin’ if they come for you, Mox ain’t the flag you’re waving. I can’t have them shooting up Lizzie’s because of the mess you made. Don’t bother asking anyone for help either. Already told them to freeze you out.”

“So… what? I’m not a Mox anymore?”

“You weren’t a Mox when you broke out on your own and seized Clouds. You know I wouldn’t have allowed that. First and most important rule? We look after our own. And all your chooms at Clouds are _yours_ , not ours.” Susie paused as she searched Judy’s face. “You live through this shit, and you’re free to come back. But I would need you to start acting like a Mox, not just getting a tat and calling it a day. Until then, I don’t want to see your face around here. You get me?”

“I get you,” Judy replied bitterly. Susie seemed satisfied nonetheless. The woman turned her chair and started scrolling the feeds in earnest. Judy took her leave, knowing she wouldn’t get anything else out of her. When Susie made up her mind there was no convincing her otherwise. Judy exited Lizzie’s with a vice wrapped around her chest. It tightened with each step she took. She had counted on the Mox’s support. Without them, Clouds was vulnerable to potential retaliation. For now, the dolls would have to guard their own without any outside assistance.

It was a precious position to be in, but what other choice did they have? The badges who patrolled Japantown were deep in the Tyger Claws’ pocket. Counting on their help would solve nothing. They were more likely to raid the dollhouse and place it back under gang control. Idly, Judy entertained asking V for help. The merc was well-connected; had to be with all the jobs she took. If anyone could have an idea what to do, it would be her. Yet Judy found herself hesitating.

She had already asked so much from the woman. Nothing that V hadn’t given freely, but Judy felt a pang of guilt regardless. The conversation she had with the relic’s construct flit through her head. Was she taking advantage of V’s kindness? V barely knew her. Judy might have been quick to call her a friend, but she couldn’t be sure it went both ways. What sort of friend constantly begged for help? It wasn’t right, not with the amount of trouble already heaped upon the merc’s plate. No, Judy decided, she wouldn’t seek out V. She could find a solution to Clouds without constantly needing someone to hold her hand. There had to be a better way of going about this. All she needed to do was find it.

Unfortunately, Judy wouldn't get the chance. A handful of days after they seized Clouds, Judy received a message on her terminal. It was Roxanne, and what she wrote obliterated the last shreds of hope Judy still clung to.

Tom was dead, killed defending Clouds from a Tyger ambush. She fell limp into her chair, trembling. He had kept the upgraded doll chip, expressing that he’d protect Clouds no matter what. Tom… Big-hearted and ever-smiling Tom. A choked sob escaped her. Tom was _fucking dead._ And it was her fault. Always her fault. Judy stumbled to her knees before curling into the floor. Nothing she did had mattered. The only thing she had accomplished was getting her last true friend flatlined.

If Judy had been there… If she had only convinced Susie when it mattered… _If I hadn’t dragged him into this in the first place._ Judy cried without end, wishing she could take her regrets away. But there was no changing the past. She had fucked up irrevocably, and Tom paid the price. For hours she remained inert on the floor. Only when the shadows of night filled her apartment did she finally stir. Judy climbed to her feet, throat hoarse and chest throbbing.

With sore eyes, she dragged herself to the bathroom and flipped on the showerhead. Judy disrobed before sitting beneath the scalding spray. In the end, Evie had been right. Night City was a mechanical monstrosity that couldn’t be changed. It would chug onward, never stopping to see what fell into its chrome teeth. Judy had been the only one who didn’t recognize this. She raised her knees to her chest and clutched them tight.

When she finally crawled from the shower – skin burning red – Judy drifted into a restless slumber. Her dreams took her to those distant days at Clouds, crisp and sharp in its vividness. Through the glass, she saw her friends chattering away as they always did. Yet try as she might, Judy couldn’t move to join them. Evie and Tom remained a world away, far from her reach. They never looked in her direction. When Judy awoke, she felt tears falling down her face. Judy made a decision, then.

After all these years, she had found her answer. Night City wasn’t where she needed to be. If she stayed, it would continue to devour any scant happiness Judy managed to hold. The only way to prevent that was to leave it far behind. She spent the rest of the day packing away her things. Judy stuck to the necessities – clothing, supplies, and the various knickknacks that reminded her of Tom and Evie without the pain. Abruptly, she stumbled across the wet-suit she bought on Freddy’s recommendation. Judy thumbed the material thoughtfully.

Every so often she would visit the cabin and explore the reservoir depths. She would venture close to where Laguna Bend had been, but she never visited properly. In the beginning, it just felt too soon. Like the memory would send her spinning to avenues best left unexplored. Then, it was because she didn't feel comfortable venturing that deep without experience. As time passed, more and more excuses would prevent her from making the journey. Truth was, it just never felt right. But if she was leaving Night City, this would be her final chance.

Judy didn’t want to make the journey alone. Never did. She had considered asking Evie once, but never mustered the courage to do so. Judy regretted that now; the memory just another missed opportunity among many. But maybe…. if V was up for it—

She swallowed and clutched the wet-suit to her breast. One more day. One last adventure with a person she trusted and cared for. Judy didn’t have any expectations of where this would go. She barely understood what she would do or say. However, she wanted to have one good memory before leaving all this behind. Judy could scroll it, keep it close to her chest when she wanted to remind herself there was more to life than suffering. And if she could give V that as well, then all the better. They both deserved a moment of peace.

* * *

There were very few places where Judy felt at ease. Her apartment had been at the top of that list until she lost Evelyn. Lizzie’s basement had been close, but with her relationship to the Mox so strained, she couldn’t say that was true anymore. All she had left was Freddy’s cabin. The noise and bustle of the city always seemed so distant there. And as she watched the sun begin to set atop his old clunker, Judy could feel a twinge of contentment. Her grief still festered like an open wound, but it was hard to reconcile the horrors of the city with the serenity of the water’s surface.

She quickly pushed aside any dark thoughts. Today was meant to be a break from her troubles, not a rehashing of them. When V arrived, this day would be just for them. Judy wouldn’t allow anything to ruin this last chance at something good. She raised her head as she heard the high-pitched whine of a bike. V sped into view before skidding to a messy halt. Judy blinked, bemused. She’d never seen the other woman drive, but it was evident V wasn’t very graceful. Something about that knowledge was charming. Judy gave the bike a brief once over, both impressed and mystified. It made sense for an ex-corpo to own an Arch – preem brand and all – yet somehow, Judy never pictured V driving one.

She watched as V slowly climbed off the bike, her head craning in search of Judy. Then, the merc’s eyes fell on her and Judy took a startled breath. The sun painted her frame in shades of red and gold, rays melding with the lighter strands of her hair. V offered a hesitant grin, as if she wasn’t sure she’d be welcome. It was beautiful. _She_ was beautiful. Judy straightened as V approached. The merc walked with her hands shoved into her back pockets, stride oddly halting. It took Judy a moment to figure out why that might be.

V was _nervous_. She bit back a grin as she considered the reason why. No one had ever cared about what Judy thought of them. Not even Maiko had ever been anything but collected and unimpressed. Yet the big, bad mercenary seemed to be flustered by her. It was a welcome confidence boost. When V joined her at last, Judy took in her features. She appeared well-rested, for once; vigilant yet eager. The shine of her eyes was bright with fascination, and not the off-putting glow of the construct.

Fondness bloomed in Judy’s chest the longer she looked at her. When was the last time she had felt this way? With Maiko, when things were exciting and new? With Evie, right after she heard her laugh for the first time? Maybe it was even further than that, when a young Judy first caught herself wishing Jenni Chapman would smile at her. Or, maybe this was something entirely different – separate from anything else that had come before. Judy wasn’t sure how to define it, but she was open to finding out.

It was strange to finally dive below and see the ruins of her old home. Just like Freddy had said it was all still there; only colder and wetter now. Wounds she hadn’t realized still existed throbbed. Her favorite diner. The old station across from the church. Her childhood home. Judy felt raw seeing it all like this, but there was catharsis too. She could sense the ragged edges of her heart begin to mend. Maybe it would have been too soon to see it before. But right now… it felt right.

A cacophony of opposing emotions roiled inside her at every turn. Warmth and sorrow. Remorse and bittersweet joy. Yet she embraced everything she had to give and hoped V could sense it too. Through the scroll sync, Judy felt V’s own conflicted feelings. The merc was awed by what she saw, but it was tinged with guilt; as if she wasn’t sure it was appropriate. Fragments of the woman’s past entered her mind occasionally, elicited by Judy’s nostalgia. The taste of fresh fish, the pride of belonging to a wealthy family, the regret of cutting ties to appease Arasaka.

 _Arasaka…_ Judy had forced herself not to react to that piece of information. She decided not to comment on it, allowing V to keep her secrets. This journey was about exploring the past to move on. Dragging up unpleasantness wasn’t the way to do that. So Judy focused on the electric tingle of V's exhilaration and the buttery soft taste of something that could have been affection. It lingered on the merc’s thoughts like a blanket. Gentle and sweet. But every so often, Judy would feel something headier beneath it. Spiced and intense, but still colored with…

Judy flushed deeply at the direction these thoughts took her, as well as her presumption. Maybe she was mistaken. She had been wrong about how people felt before, even if said woman was very much linked to her. As V swam higher to look for an opening into the old church, Judy scolded herself and hoped her companion couldn’t feel the impression of her racing heart. Too much, too fast. And certainly way too complicated to consider. She was leaving, after all. No sense getting deep into something she couldn’t finish.

 _Stick to planning your goodbyes_ , she told herself. _Maybe embrace her if you dare, but nothing more._

Yet all her protests faded away once V passed out within the church walls. One moment, they were discussing the time she fled from the church as a girl, and the next Judy saw the merc clutching at her chest. Then the woman shivered before falling limp, sinking to the bottom. Judy had grabbed her in a panic. She stared into the face of her mask, but V’s eyes were shut. Rivulets of sweat cascaded down her face. It was just like that time in her apartment. Was the construct doing this on purpose? Anger and terror flooded her, but she shoved the emotions aside. V needed her to be calm, so that’s what she would be.

Judy slung an arm around the merc before kicking fiercely towards the lift. Mired down by their gear, the process was painfully slow. It felt like an eternity before she finally grasped the lift bar and propelled them to the surface. She clung to V’s frame, dismayed a the lack of response. Once she dragged her ashore, Judy tore off their masks and pressed a hand to V’s neck. Her pulse was thready, chest not rising as it should.

 _No, no, NO! Not again._ Refusing to think of the worst, Judy began doing compressions. V couldn't die here. Not now. This was supposed to be a day where nothing bad could touch them. Judy grit her teeth and lowered her mouth to V’s lips. She breathed into her lungs, hoping it would rouse her. Then she continued to press over her heart.

“Don’t do this, V,” she muttered roughly. “Don’t you fucking do this.”

Judy’s eyes began to water, but she wiped the moisture away. She continued the compressions, determined to keep V’s heart pumping.

“V! Please…”

Suddenly, the merc gasped for air. Her chest lurched, and Judy leaned away in relief. She watched, breathless, as V raised herself on her elbows. V was alive – white as static and sweat soaking her face, but alive. Judy had never been so thankful for anything in her life. And as the merc slowly become more lucid, Judy realized she cared more than she previously thought. She hid the tremor of her legs by sitting down, taking in the sharp edges that made up the other woman.

Judy had planned on saying goodbye once they reached land again. But she couldn’t bear to part from her yet, not with everything that had happened. She also didn't trust V not to get into a nasty wreck on the way home, dazed as the woman seemed. So Judy offered for them to stay the night, careful not to appear too worried. A part of her expected V to turn her down. But she didn’t, and the easy way V smiled settled Judy’s roiling thoughts. Only slightly, but it was enough.

But then V left to turn on the generator, and Judy was left with a nagging chill along her spine. She stripped herself out of the wet-suit, thinking it was only the constricted material that made her feel so unsettled. However, it barely helped. Seeing V that way, still and cold like a corpse... It made her sick just thinking about it. Suddenly, Judy was harshly reminded of everything she lost. Tom. _Evie._

Judy clenched her jaw, struggling not to think of the hole in her heart where her friends used to be. But it proved fruitless and she ended up staggering to the bathroom. How could she even think of forgetting, even for a moment? They were gone because of _her_. It was foolish to try and escape from that truth. No matter where she went or what she did, it would always linger over her. Her mistake. Her burden. Judy heard V’s voice coming from behind the door but didn’t respond.

She felt cold as ice; numb and weightless without anything to tether herself to. This wasn’t what Judy had planned on. V… She wouldn’t want to see this, nor to hear of the terrible ways Judy had failed those she loved. She met V’s worried stare, searching the woman’s expression. What did V see when she looked at her? Judy’s many faults; the glaring imperfections that rent the illusion of strength? Judy wasn’t sure she wanted to find out, but the woman didn’t allow her to linger in doubt.

_“I didn’t want to tell you… Wanted this to be just our day. I-I wanted...”_

_“It is ours.”_

As V touched her face, hand sliding in a gentle caress, Judy could finally place the emotion humming through her veins. A mix of V’s and hers, bleeding deep into each other. It wasn’t love. Not yet. But it was terrifying close. Judy clasped V’s hand, marveling at the heat of her skin, and led her to the bedroom. The limbs were synthetic assuredly – the weave of cybernetics along V’s fingers very apparent – yet they were strong and wanted nevertheless. V held her gently, as if Judy was something precious and all too breakable. It was surprising, but maybe it shouldn’t have been. The merc had long proved she more than just a callous gun among countless. More than the sharp-tongued suit who sauntered into Lizzie’s. More than the cocky merc who seemed certain that nothing could touch her.

Their lips met in a kiss, yearning and deep. Instantly, Judy knew it was pointless to fight this. She didn’t know where this night would take her. Perhaps V only felt a fraction of what she felt. But as they continued to touch – synced down to their core – Judy could feel the elation buzzing through V’s bones. In the end, V had been right. This day was theirs, and they would claim each other as they desired.

* * *

Judy was well-acquainted with all the aspects of sex. It was hard not to be considering her work. She thought she had seen everything there was to know; understood every nuance and feeling there could possibly be. So why did this feel so new? So unknown and beautiful? There was a hunger to V’s kisses that Judy was unfamiliar with. Lustful, certainly, but also wanting in a way that felt separate from her flesh. As if she wanted to crawl beneath Judy’s skin and make a home of her soul. It was an odd sensation to experience from a woman who seemed so uncomfortable sharing herself.

But that was the point of this synchronization. They couldn’t hide from each other. Judy could feel every fierce pang of need that V felt, just as the woman could for her. She traced the hard lines of muscle that made up her lover’s flesh, memorizing the gradual slide into feminine curve. V’s hands were rough, but her grip never strayed into something harsh. Every movement was slow and careful. Every caress savored until the sweetness bled into heated desire. Judy sighed as V pressed her into the sheets, tongue and teeth lapping at her pulse. She worshiped her in slow, thorough sections before trailing down her body.

It had never felt like this with anyone before. The pace remained slow and gradual, akin to sinking in a warm bath after a heavy rain. With everyone else she’d slept with, there was always a sense of haste. As if they couldn’t wait to take their pleasure and be done. Yet V did not rush. She did not force or guide anything in her favor. The woman was all too happy to scour Judy’s skin and map her body with curious fingers. And when she finally dipped into clinging heat, Judy felt a part of her heart break away in V’s palm.

This was what it felt like to make love. She was certain of it. V took her higher and higher before the pleasure broke across her like a wave. Judy shivered her completion against V’s lips, hands tangled in storm-colored hair. Those deep grey eyes were smiling now, gentle as her touch. Judy just kissed her deeper, desperate to ingrain this feeling into her memory. When she finally got the chance to return the favor, she made sure V experienced the same heady surge of ecstasy. The sound of her lover’s moans spurred her onward as she flicked her tongue along the length of V’s body.

Judy was wrong before. Victory wasn’t what came to mind as she tasted her. It was something better; safe and wonderful in the best kind of way. Like returning to a home she didn't know she had. Eventually, V tugged her back up with shaking hands and kissed her. She didn’t seem to mind the slick decorating her face, tongue tracing the seam of Judy’s lips. When she pulled away, V had an adorably drowsy look on her face, but her stare was full of reverence. She looked like couldn't quite believe Judy was real. The feeling was entirely mutual, so she just captured her lips once more.

Time began to blur as they took their fill. Yet the need was never completely sated, only smoothed to a faint murmur. When exhaustion finally won out in the twilight hours, Judy found herself tucked against V’s side. She smiled against her lover’s neck as the woman tried to catch her breath. The sync had finally ceased a couple of hours ago, but the electric hum of their connection still lingered.

“You show all the girls a nova time like that?” V asked. Her voice was more a throaty rasp than anything. Judy hummed in response, trailing a hand down the merc’s belly.

“Not all of them. You should feel honored.” Judy relaxed, enjoying the sound of V’s heart against her ear. “Takes a special kind of gal to pique my interest these days. Got done wasting time on gonks years ago.”

“Lucky me.” V phased it as a jibe, but Judy could hear her sincerity. “That was… I don’t even know. Got no words to describe it. Think that’s ‘cause of the sync?”

“Maybe a bit.” Judy lifted her head, peering into V’s face. “It’s funny. Never thought I'd get here with you. Makes me think I should have taken that offer when we first met."

V blinked at her before frowning.

“...Offer?”

“Mhm. Though we did forego one important detail.” Judy placed a teasing kiss to the side of the other woman’s neck. “How’d you put it? Piston and chrome, I think.”

She felt V tense, shoulders locking. The merc was quiet for a time, scarcely appearing to breathe. Then, she exhaled in a chagrined burst.

“I was hoping you had forgotten that,” V admitted. “Assumed you did, since you never brought it up. Not my finest moment.”

“Maybe not, but it’s fun to reminisce on.” Judy smiled against V’s jaw. “You were such a jackass. An attractive one maybe, but didn’t stop me from wanting to wipe that smug smile from your face.”

“I was an _egotistical_ jackass. Figured you were the type to see a challenge and jump all over it. I thought you'd give in just to prove me wrong."

“You didn’t know me, V. Just as I didn’t know you. We both know better now.” Judy hesitated, desiring to burrow herself closer but unsure of what V wanted. “Speaking of… You want me to give you space? Some people don’t like cuddlin’, I know—”

“It’s fine,” V cut in. “Perfect, really.”

She sidled impossibly closer, wrapping an arm around Judy’s waist. Coarse fingertips danced along inked ribs. Judy thrilled at the touch, warmth blossoming anew in her chest.

“Never met someone like you,” V continued in a whisper, “Like a compromise between hard and soft. Don’t know what I did to earn this, but I hope you don’t learn to regret it.”

The words were oddly ominous, but maybe Judy was just reading into them wrong. She watched, rapt, as the woman closed her eyes and drifted to sleep. Judy ran a tentative hand across V’s brow, sweeping aside a few stray locks. She wasn't sure what this encounter had meant. For her or V. For all she knew this night was all the merc wanted and nothing more. But what if it wasn’t?

This day had spiraled far beyond the simple farewell it had originally been. If V wanted more… Judy didn’t know if she could refuse her. She had been so sure about leaving just a few hours ago. Yet one night's passion with a woman she barely knew and suddenly that drive was gone.

No, that wasn’t fair to say. Truthfully, Judy just wasn’t quite prepared to let everything go. She didn’t want to let _V_ go. There was so much she still wanted to know about her. So many memories Judy longed to make. Whatever they ended up being, it was worth exploring. It felt too good not to try, at least. Perhaps it would just end in more tears and pain, but Judy hoped it wouldn’t. She took in the fine curve of V’s jaw and arch of her cheeks. Relic or not, if anyone could beat the odds she firmly believed V could.

Maybe… Just maybe she’d found something made to last.

* * *

When Judy returned to her apartment, she started unpacking. As she tucked away her clothing, a smile that refused to leave appeared on her face. Her heart ached, but in blissful recollection now rather than just sorrow. V wanted to build something with her. Something real and true. She lingered upon the spare wet-suit, recalling the way it clung to the other woman’s body. A memory bloomed from the day prior, V standing in the sun with a hesitant smile tilting her mouth. Judy bit her lip, the sudden rush of affection leaving her dizzy.

It was probably silly of her to be so easily convinced or to stay simply because of a blossoming romance. After all, V was a high-profile mercenary. She could get flatlined at any spare moment and Judy might never know until it was too late. Then there was the relic and its engram to consider. So much was stacked against this. Any well-adjusted person would have stayed clear. For a moment, she wondered what Tom and Evie would have thought. Would they tell her she was being a gonk? Judy was tempted to say they would, but then she recalled that conversation she had with Tom in her apartment.

 _“_ _We can’t linger on the bad, Judy. And I don’t think Evie would begrudge you finding someone who makes you smile. That’s all she ever wanted for you. Told me so herself.”_

The certainty he held did not leave room for doubt. If they could see her now… she was sure they would be happy for her. Judy folded away the suit, making a mental note to hand it to V later. The gift would be a nice reminder of their night together, and a promise for many more to come. As Judy exited the bedroom, she found a surprise standing by the door. V was lingering on the threshold, looking for all the world like she didn't know whether to stay or leave. She stilled as Judy's eyes fell on her.

“Hey, Jude…” The merc stepped forward, hesitant. “Thought I’d swing by. Check on everything.”

“And scope out your new digs?” Judy smiled broadly. She strode to V’s side, fingers wrapping around the woman’s jacket. Judy felt a heady burst of satisfaction as those dark eyes widened. “Should have said something earlier. I would have cleaned up a bit.”

“Wasn’t too sure I was comin’ until I was already halfway there,” V said. Judy felt her relax, stance falling out of its rigid state. Her lips formed an amused slant. “Like my body knew where I wanted to be before my head. Guess it’s just instinctual.”

“You won’t see me complaining.” Judy dragged her deeper into the apartment. “Feel free to snoop around. What’s mine is yours. Oh, but watch the wires and tools. Don’t want you frying that pretty head of yours.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” V replied with a rolling chuckle. She seemed to regain some of her usual confidence, hands falling from her pockets. Judy watched her move around the apartment curiously. V acted like she had never been there before, but maybe it felt fresh under a new context. Judy just observed in silence, allowing her output to acclimate.

Output... Was that what they were to each other? Judy had never had that before. She got real close with Maiko, but the doll made it clear she wasn’t comfortable with that label. Anything other than sex had sent her scurrying for the door. Emotional vulnerability wasn't Maiko’s thing, but V was already leagues above her. Judy couldn’t imagine sharing what she did with anyone else. What she and V had was unique. Special. At least, Judy thought so. Yet she dared to think V might feel the same. And as the merc sat beside her on the couch, smile open and warm, Judy felt she could trust that thought.

They spent hours together in that manner, speaking about everything and nothing all at once. It had never been this easy to talk to someone, but maybe that was just because V was so ready to listen. She asked questions when appropriate, but didn’t dig deeper than Judy was comfortable with. Her interest was genuine, never feigned or directed back to herself. With her corporate background, Judy had assumed V would find her life dull. Yet she didn’t. Judy half-expected her to close-off once the topic shifted to the past, but she was uncommonly candid.

“My parents were ladder climbers themselves,” V revealed. She wrinkled her nose with perceived distaste. “Spent their whole lives licking boots, trading favors, and tearing down those in their way. I never saw anything wrong with it before. For the longest time, I thought that was just how the world was meant to be. After all, you can’t rise without other people fallin’ first.”

“That’s a cold way to think,” Judy said bluntly. “But if it’s all you knew, I can understand it somewhat.”

“Cold is a good way to put it. The thing about the corporate machine is that you can’t waste time mullin’ over right and wrong. Gotta act quick in the self-interests of those you aim to uplift. And the one you always want at the top is yourself.” V exhaled slowly, expression rueful. “Honesty isn’t rewarded half as much as guile. Emotion is for those you exploit, not somethin’ you keep for yourself. Feel too much any one way and you become an instant liability.”

“Your parents must have been proud, then. Since you were following in their footsteps,” Judy guessed, though not as unkindly as her words implied. She knew the woman before her was very different from who V had been.

“You would think so, and they were at first.” V hesitated. She eyed Judy with a hint of trepidation. “But then I jumped ship to Arasaka. Biggest rule there? The company comes first. Everything else is just window dressing.”

“Did they make you stop seein’ them?” Judy inquired with a frown. She faintly recalled the second-hand regret she gleaned from V during the scroll. “Force you to distance yourself?”

“All that and more.” V exhaled sharply through her nose. “My parents worked for a rivaling company trying to move in on Arasaka’s manufacturing contracts. They aimed to displace them as the top supplier for cyberware parts in NC. Well, Arasaka didn’t like that much. They got wind of my _affiliation_ and ordered me to use them for information."

“Did you…?”

"I gave Arasaka what they wanted. In return, I was promoted to counter-intel, and the company my parents worked for went down in flames. They knew it was me; how could they not? Next thing I know they’re on a flight out of the city. Never bothered to tell me where they went.”

She looked to the side, brow furrowed. Her mouth compressed into a thin line.

“Remember the night we met? You were right when you said I shied away from human connection. I don’t think you understood how affected I was by those words. Felt like you had flayed me open and put me on display. All my regrets were thrown back in my face with one observation. That’s why I reacted the way I did. Didn’t want to seem… weak, I guess.”

“You wanted to prove me wrong,” Judy replied. She didn’t phrase it as a question. V just nodded in acceptance.

“Thought maybe I could get a little something more out of it too. But we already talked about how much of an ass I was.” V grinned up her, eyes crinkling. “It stuck with me, Jude. The things you said. Made me start to take stock of myself and what I had done. Sent me spiraling a bit, and I had to hire a life coach just to sort myself out. Funny to think ‘bout now, but I guess that’s why hindsight is golden.”

“I think you would have come to the same point eventually. You’re too good not to.”

V just gave her an indelicate snort.

“Twice now you've called me that. Startin' to believe you should get your eyes checked, but I suppose I don’t mind. Preferable than to what most people have called me.”

“You’re better than you give yourself credit for.” Judy fell into a brief silence as she thought of the various ways V had affected her life. “Noticed it in… with Evelyn. Every step of the way you did more than you needed to. It was the same afterward and ever since. You care, V. Much more than I think you realize.”

“I won’t argue with you there. Just a bit of a trip to consider after denying it for so long.” V thumbed a length of her hair idly. “...Dyed it this color the moment I was hired into Arasaka. Had the gonk idea that makin’ myself look like a machine would help me perform better. Be colder, harder – shiny and chrome. Afterward, just kept doin' it outta habit. But now… I'm considering letting it fade."

“I think it’d be a good change.” Judy scooted closer, allowing her hand to rest against V's thigh. The merc didn't seem to mind from the curve of her lips. "We all deserve a fresh start; a beginning separate from the past. Clinging to one phase of our lives means we can’t move forward into the next.”

“You come up with that all on your own?”

“For the most part. Had a little help here and there.” Judy laid her head against V’s shoulder, enjoying the woman’s solid build and body heat. “I was in the middle of unpacking before you came over. You have no idea how close I was to leaving the city for good."

“Any regrets?” The question sounded casual, but Judy could hear the minute strain within V’s voice. She touched her cheek, caressing the edge of her jaw.

“Not yet. Besides, I’m sure we’ll leave one day. Only need to wrap up your relic business first.”

“’ _We_ ’, huh?” V smiled, slow and crooked. “Yeah… I think I like the sound of that.”

Her stare drifted somewhere to the right. She blinked before her jaw clenched visibly. Judy couldn't place the reason why until it clicked suddenly.

“That bastard giving you a hard time?” she asked, tone a little more than knowing. V’s lashes fluttered with surprise before she gave a mild chuckle.

"A bit, but he's never happy when I'm here. He thinks it's a waste. Keeps tellin' me I could be doing more important things. But it's funny…" V met her gaze head-on, words sincere and lacking in guile. “The more he chides me, the better I feel. It’s a distinct separation from what he wants and what I want. That's rarer than I'd like these days. Yet with you… I know without a doubt that you're something _I_ chose. Don’t think I can thank you enough, Jude. For givin’ me that.”

Judy kissed her then, unable to resist the temptation of her lips. V tasted just as wonderful as she remembered, flavored this time by joy and tenderness. And beneath it all was the promise of a shared future. Perhaps they couldn’t leave just yet, but soon. Until then, they would take it slow and enjoy their time together. Judy fell into V’s arms, warmed by the mutual affection humming between them.

* * *

_You ever gonna tell me what it means?_

Judy smiled at the message, amused by V’s persistence. Her response was short and sweet.

_Figure it out ;p_

There was a brief silence before her optics indicated V was typing. After a while, V's message finally arrived. Judy bit on her knuckle to muffle her laughter.

_I did! Went through every translator I could get my hands on. Thought you were callin’ me sweet or mushy, but that don’t make sense… Does it?_

_Maybe,_ Judy returned. _Could be I meant it in an entirely different way._

There was a long pause after she sent it, enough for Judy to return to working on her terminal. Just as she booted up the scroll in Laguna, she heard the notification beep. Judy immediately abandoned her task so she could answer.

_Okay, I give in. What’s it mean? To you._

Now that was the real question, wasn't it? Judy thought of what she should say, and whether or not she could properly explain it. _Mi Calabacita._ Truth was, it hadn’t been something she planned. It had been given in the moment; a quick notion that dug into her head but refused to leave. When she thought of V, several things came to mind. She was complexity garbed in simplicity. Hard yet soft, with an edge that needed several bites to appreciate. To her, V meant a return to something she hadn’t experienced in a good while.

 _It just means you’re an acquired taste,_ she eventually replied. _Something I didn’t like before, but now I do. Get it?_

V’s next response was lightning fast.

 _Yeah._ _Definitely do. Busy tonight so I can’t drop by, but can I come over tomorrow?_

_You never need to ask._

Judy smiled before turning her attention back to the scroll. Her face felt oddly flushed, skin hot. Had she ever felt so infatuated? So young and free? If so, she couldn’t remember at the moment. Even just one short conversation could send her mood rocketing into the sky. Hopefully, that would never change. Judy perked as she heard another beep. Thinking it was V, she pulled up her output’s contact. But it hadn’t been her. Judy frowned at the message icon beside Mateo’s name.

Why was he contacting her? They had never been the kind of friends who chatted casually. Their conversations were reserved for work and sharing their mutual gripes within the Mox. But maybe this was Susie using him as a middleman. It wouldn’t be beyond her to do something like that. Curiosity getting the best of her, Judy gave him a ring. It took a few seconds before they connected. Mateo’s avatar filled the corner screen.

“Judy,” he greeted plainly. “Didn’t think you’d call. I assumed you would want to stick to text.”

“Why waste time with fluff when I can cut to the chase?” Judy bounced her leg, impatient. “If you’re spyin’ for Susie, you can tell her I’m keeping my nose clean. Tygers only hit Clouds. They didn’t seem to know anythin’ specific, so the Mox are safe.”

“Not why I messaged you. But good to know.” Mateo just looked at her for a time. His expression was inscrutable as always, but Judy thought she saw his jaw flex. “...Was worried. You went dark when the news about Clouds broke. Wondered if maybe you had been hurt or worse. But Rita said she saw you around in Kabuki. I knew then you were just avoiding Lizzie’s.”

“Susie banished me, Mateo. No reason to stick around after that. I thought she would have told everyone already.”

“If so, I wasn’t there for it. But Susie’s never been one to show weakness. Admitting the reason why you were booted would be a bitter pill to swallow.” He glanced to the side, appearing to think of what to say next. “We would have come if you asked. Susie knows that too. Loyalty… it still means something to us. Orders are one thing, but we don’t leave behind one of our own.”

“Didn’t think anyone would care to be honest. I never knew whether I truly belonged there, or if the others saw me as one of them. Probably my fault for being so isolated.” Judy sighed, raising her knees up to her chest. “Kinda wish I made the effort. But I was so fixed on how to help, guess I lost sight of the smaller things.”

“You always were dedicated. One of the things I admired about you. I’m not alone in that either.” Mateo offered a small smile. For a stoic man like him, it was quite the telling gesture. “Anyway, all this isn’t what I wanted to talk about. Me and Rita are gonna get some drinks, and jaw-on about the good ol’ days. Called to see if you wanted in.”

“Just you and Rita?” Judy pondered the offer. It would be nice to get out and talk with people she could stand. V was busy, so that left a very short list. Plus, it would be nice to talk with them outside Susie’s ever-watchful eyes. “Alright. Count me in. Where are you meetin’?”

A handful of hours later, Judy strode into the warmly lit confines of _El Coyote Cojo_ and scanned its occupants. Apparently, it was Mateo’s idea to drink there rather than anywhere high-key. ‘ _Not meant to be that kind of night_ ,’ he said. Judy wasn’t complaining. She didn’t have the patience for throbbing bass and a massive crowd currently. She spotted them immediately once she crossed the threshold. Rita stood out like a neon sign; the vibrant hue of her hair standing out from the subdued colors of the bar. The pair had reserved one of the tables in the far corner, appearing to be deep in conversation.

“Hey,” she said as she approached. They both looked at her, Rita’s face pulling into a smug grin.

“Hey yourself, Punchin’ Judy. Heard you gave the Tygers a kick in the balls. Nice one.”

“Wasn’t quite like that. But sure, guess you could say I did.” Judy swallowed her instinctive urge to rankle. She knew Rita meant well, and she couldn’t expect the woman to know everything it cost her. Judy forced a pleasant smile and took a seat. “You both look good. Anything exciting happening at Lizzie’s?”

“Pfft. Maybe if Susie let us off the chain for once. But you know how she is.” Rita rolled her eyes, settling her boots atop the table. “Same story, different day. I did have to mess up a few handsies earlier. But they learned respect when they got a taste of my bat.”

“So nothing’s changed is what you’re saying.”

“Nothing ever does,” Rita fired back. She turned her head and wrinkled her nose. “What kind of music is this? Can’t dance to it at all.”

“That’s the point,” Mateo said at last. He raised a bottle to his lips, taking a swig. “Place like this is for drinking and talking. Just like I told you.”

“Didn’t know you meant that literally,” Rita grumbled. Judy blinked as the brightly colored woman rocked to her feet. “I’ll be back. Gonna see if I can get them to play something livelier. No wonder this joint is barren.”

Mateo shook his head as she left before fixing his stare on Judy.

“She’s always looking for a thrill. Kept telling her it’s not that kind of place, but does she listen?” He appeared bemused, but the Judy could tell he wasn’t truly exasperated. “She’s been bugging me about this all week, though. I can’t blame her for getting excited.”

“What? Going for a drink?”

“Nope. Meant taking you out on the town.” Mateo took another sip. His lips quirked as Judy’s brow furrowed. “She was concerned for you. We both were. After Evelyn and Clouds… Well, felt like you could use a moment to unwind. I wasn’t sure you would be up for it, but Rita kept pressing.”

“Mateo…” Judy didn’t know how to respond to that. She was on friendly terms with them both, but she hadn’t expected them to worry about her. It was unexpected, but also just _nice_. At a loss for words, Judy settled for saying, “Thank you. I appreciate it."

“No need for gratitude.” Mateo shrugged in his usual muted way. “The Mox stick together, right? Susie may grouse, but I think she'll come around in time. Relies too heavily on your talent to keep you away."

“I don’t know. I’m not sure I want to come back. Not yet.” Judy recalled the years she spent dreaming of changing the streets for good. So much time given to people whose lives barely improved, if they did at all. “Almost like I see the city too differently to go back. It's a thing of repetition, wearing you down until there’s barely anything left. I thought I was moving forward with the Mox, but now… I’m thinkin’ I was just running in place.”

“That’s a fair assessment.” Mateo nodded, but she did not miss the faint hint of disappointment in his expression. “It’s your choice in the end. If you do end up staying away, we’ll miss you.”

“What’s with the long faces?” Rita returned with an armful of shots. She set them down with a loud clamor. “Not making Judy all mopey, are you Mateo? Told you to loosen her up not sing her a dirge.”

“I’ll leave the loosening to you. Someone has to stay sane and sober.”

“Boring, you mean.” Rita slid a shot in Judy’s direction with a wink. She raised one high pointedly. “Drink up, girl! Any time you’re not getting plastered is time wasted.”

“That how this works?" Judy relaxed, allowing a smile to cross her face. She picked up the glass and inspected the golden liquid. “Didn’t know it was an exact science.”

“Leave your thinking at the door, honey. You do way too much of that already. It’s all on Mateo’s tab so bottoms up!” Rita swallowed it in a quick gulp. Judy followed suit, downing the liquid fire. It settled in her belly like a warm embrace and she smiled in response.

“No thinking, just drinking. I can get behind that.”

The rest of the night was spent knocking back shots and reminiscing over the years that had passed. They laughed over nonsense Judy had long forgotten about and commiserated for those they had lost along the way. And with each name, another drink was taken. The last few Judy toasted herself. _“_ _To_ _Tom and Evie. The best chooms a girl could ask for.”_ If Mateo and Rita noticed the choked quality of her voice as she said it, they kindly didn't say.

More than a little buzzed and flush with life, Judy even sent V a few cheeky messages. It got a little blurry the longer they talked, alcohol slowly turning her into a woozy mess, but it felt good. She still had friends to hang around, and a stellar output she couldn’t get enough of. Perhaps she was out of a job currently, but it didn’t have to stay that way. Everything seemed to be falling into place. Yet it didn’t feel like that. Not one bit.

Judy breathed hard as she rested her head along her palm. She watched, drowsy and limp, as Rita danced drunkenly by the bar. Mateo was trying to drag her back to the table, apologizing profusely to the proprietor. The older woman looked ready to toss them both on their asses. When Mateo finally wrangled the wayward mox, they trekked back to Judy. The man was smiling broader than usual, Rita tapping his chest with tipsy playfulness.

_Then, Tom chuckled at something Evelyn said before placing a hand to his chest in faux offense. But Evie just fluttered her eyes in the coy way she had perfected, flipping her bob with a spare hand. They both looked at Judy, as shining and bright as they always were. Young, alive, and…_

“Judy?”

She jerked up as something touched her shoulder. Her eyes opened, a few tears slipping free. When had she closed them? Judy wasn’t sure. She looked up in Mateo’s concerned face. Rita hovered over his shoulder, frowning deeply.

“Let’s get you home,” Mateo said gently. Judy didn’t argue. She didn’t have the heart to. Judy wiped her face, tongue wetting dry lips. The taste of salt lingered bitterly. That night, she stayed up to smoke by the window. Her head was still fuzzy, a monstrous headache looming like a cloud, but she couldn’t sleep. She didn’t know what dreams would take hold. Good or bad, they would only made the hole in her chest deeper. Judy flicked the rest of her cigarette out the window, staring at the never-ending wall of lights.

Not quite aware of what she was doing, Judy found herself ringing V. She leaned against the wall as she waited. V picked up, but only audio was patched through. Judy could hear the telltale hum of a distant engine. The merc must have been driving.

“Judy? Something going on?” V said above the wind. “Thought you were still with your chooms.”

“I was… They brought me home a bit ago.” Judy rubbed her brow, trying to soothe the tension away. “I, um… probably said some dumb shit earlier. Hard thinkin’ about it. Might not even ‘member this in the mornin’.”

“Not dumb at all. Kinda cute really." There was a snarling roar before the engine cut. "If you need to talk, I’m here. You feeling alright?”

“A bit like my head’s gonna split. Don’t think it’s the drinks, though I’m sure they’re not helpin’.” Judy rested her head against the cold plaster. “I just… wanted to talk. Hear your voice. Been a hell of a night.”

“Sounded like it earlier,” V spoke evenly. There was a measured cadence to her next words. “Anything specific you wanna talk about? You sound off. And not in a buzzed way.”

“Not really. But—” Judy breathed in, trying to steady herself. Her eyes and throat ached. “You ever… set somethin' on your chest and forget its there? You know it's heavy, but then you adjust so the weight fades."

“Yeah. I have.” V didn't mention the oddness of the question. She remained silent, and Judy took that as permission to continue.

“I think living here is a bit like that. But slowly... the weight just piles up over time. Again and again, until your bones start to grind to dust.” Judy swallowed, mouth dry. “Yet you can’t see it. Not fully. It’s just something you deal with. Then, when something takes it away for a little while, you're shocked. _'How did I live with that for so long?’_ , you ask. But the weight returns – because it always does – and you’re crushed again. Only this time, you know what it feels like to be free.”

“Yeah,” V repeated. Her tone deepened slightly. “I get what you mean.”

“I used to like this one song… real old, but I kept going back to it. Felt like it summed up my feelings really well. So I put it on my skin.” Judy wiped her ruddy eyes.

"I noticed. Seemed pretty, if kinda sad."

“Time is a cycle V. Just repeating over and over… And it won’t stop for anyone. It can’t.” She breathed out shakily. “This place is the same. Goin’ through the same motions, but losing a little more each time. I don’t… I _can’t_ keep doing that.”

“Yeah.”

“...S’rough,” Judy murmured. “Goin’ back to… to this apartment and seeing ghosts in the walls. Hard walking the streets and rattling off every store they loved and what food they liked. I can’t escape it, and I wish I could. That weak of me?”

“No.” V sounded hard then; firm. “Most people don’t go through what you did. Ain’t no shame in taking as long as you need to process it.”

“Sure…” Judy crawled atop the couch and huddled into its crevices. She finished in a mumble, more for herself than the woman on the other end of the line. “One day… we’re getting out of here. Don’t go changin’ your mind on me, okay?”

“I won’t.”

Judy barely heard the response, already drifting to sleep. But the certainty in her lover’s tone wove into her dreams. Instead of ghosts, there was an endless stretch of land and a road that snaked into the horizon. There was no hint of a city to be seen; a perfect lack of arching buildings, shrieking sirens, or flashing lights. Instead, Judy only saw a journey that had yet to begin.

When the morning came, she sent V a message apologizing for her embarrassing, drunken behavior. They didn’t speak about the conversation they had. There was no reason to. There was an understanding between them now that they were heading in the same direction – towards a brighter future that both wanted to clasp with both hands.

* * *

There was something to be said for the ease in which they fit together. They slot into each other's lives as if they were always meant to be entangled. Simple and effortless, like breathing. It wasn’t a struggle to coordinate their mutual needs as it was with Maiko. Judy didn’t feel like V was judging her or expecting something in exchange for her affection. Conscious of past woes, Judy never forced the same on her.

They made time for each other in the smallest of ways, speaking often and visiting frequently. Judy became as familiar with V’s apartment as the merc had hers. She was grateful for the chance to sleep in a bed without painful significance, enclosed in the sound of V’s breaths and the scent of her skin. They made many fond memories there; some salacious, some not. But there was also a smattering of difficult ones.

Night terrors were something both women were accustomed to. In V’s bed, Judy didn’t experience them often. But when they came she was reduced to shivers; a cold akin to death sweeping over her body. V would hold her fast and soothe the warmth back into her skin. It was a gradual process but nothing ever came easy. As for V… her terrors were more persistent and violent. She woke with a scream on her tongue, fingers tearing at the bedding. A wild-eyed fervor would be on her face. Judy didn’t know the content of her dreams, but she had an idea. The threat of the construct was never far from her output’s thoughts.

Even in their lightest moments, she could feel it weighing on her. In every shadow of her cheeks. In every twitch of her hands. In every glance to the furthest corners of the room. It was there, lying in wait. Judy had never hated anything more. Had she the ability, Judy would rip it out herself, but the shards and books she read offered few answers, and nothing that wouldn’t break V permanently. So Judy sat on her hands and tried to enjoy the time they still had. But some days were tougher than most.

One night, Judy awoke to the sound of persistent clicking. She didn’t know what it was or where it came from. Stirring from V’s bed, Judy took stock of her surroundings. She was surprised to find Nibbles – a stray cat V had taken in – sitting on her legs. The animal was staring at the large window, tail flicking to-and-fro. Judy followed its line of sight. V was pacing beside the glass, clicking a lighter incessantly.

The woman stopped as she noticed Judy. Silver eyes stared coolly at her.

“Cigarettes,” the construct demanded. It rolled the lighter between V’s fingers. “I know you got ‘em. Don’t hold out on me.”

“I left them at my place.” Judy sat up warily. She patted Nibbles’ ears but didn’t allow her gaze to drift from the construct. V’s lips curled with displeasure.

“Why you do a gonk thing like that?”

“Don’t feel like I need it when I’m with her,” Judy said. “Besides, I know she’s not too keen on the smell.”

The construct snorted but didn’t rage at her as Judy expected. It grumbled to itself before leaning against the window. Judy just kept petting Nibbles in silence. For a time, neither acknowledged the other existed. Judy wondered how often the construct roamed around in V’s shoes as she slept. The idea made a certain kind of terrible sense, but Judy didn’t like pondering the invasive nature of the thing before her.

“A lot.”

Judy blinked at looked at the construct, confused. It clicked the lighter idly, staring out over the city.

“You’re wondering how much this happens. It’s a lot.” The construct kicked V’s leg against the wall. “More than she’s ever aware of. Have to take the blockers just to put her back in control. It’s like… her brain keeps pressing eject without her permission.”

“I’m surprised you don’t keep her suppressed,” Judy commented honestly.

“It ain’t like that. Could have been, if I wanted. But I don’t.” The construct pursed V’s lips. “I know what you think of me. I think it too. A parasite hollowing V out to make a shell from her flesh. But I don’t get any choice in this either. Me and V, we’re both puppets in a game we didn’t know existed.”

“You trying to make me sympathize?”

“Trying to make you understand. To _see_.” The construct pressed a hand to the glass. “Time is moving quicker now. The end is comin’ fast and I know V feels it too. Wish V was a drinker, then maybe I could stop feelin’ so fucking sober.”

“Don’t see how that’s stopping you. You already smoke without her permission.”

“That and this are two completely different things. I got memories in my head of her finding comfort at the end of a bottle. Drownin’ her guilt and loneliness away. Nearly killed her so she stopped cold. Froze everythin’ out instead. Smoking means nothing to her, but drinkin’ would mean breaking a promise. Already did it once when she trusted me. Don’t feel like doin’ it again.”

Judy didn’t know that. Any of it. She gnawed on her lip as she considered the bits of V’s past she was privy to. Her corporate ties, the family she betrayed, the people she crushed to get ahead. V was painfully human, but only after being broken down to the grain. It didn’t surprise her that she once tried to numb her feelings away. Judy ached for her lover, wishing she could hold her now. The construct appeared to read her expression.

“You’ll get her back once mornin’ comes,” it said. Then, the construct snagged a blue bottle from the sill and popped a pill into V’s mouth. “...Just know, you make her happy. Maybe you don’t want to hear that from me, but you do. Doesn’t feel like anything I ever felt, or could be I just don’t remember. But if I know V, she’ll try her hardest to keep this.”

Judy didn’t know what game the construct was playing, but she couldn’t deny the flutter of her heart upon hearing that. She watched, clutching Nibbles tight, as the construct laid V down on the couch. Even as the sun began to rise, Judy refused to look away. Only when V sat up, grey eyes blinking fuzzily at her, did she allow herself to breathe easy. If her output found it odd that she seemingly migrated in the night, V didn’t say. Judy had a feeling she was more aware of these nightly episodes than the construct thought. Or maybe they were both lying to each other to make cohabitation more bearable. Judy couldn’t be sure how their dynamic functioned.

That day, she held V a little tighter, keeping her in sight at all times. They didn’t speak of why nor did they broach the relic shaped elephant in the room. But as always it lingered, and this time Judy could feel its presence just as deeply.

* * *

There were many things Judy needed to adjust to once they solidified their relationship. The biggest hurdle was the simple fact that V was a busy woman. If she wasn’t running gigs for fixers she was tending to some great crisis from one of her many contacts. Some of them V referred to as chooms, but Judy got the feeling her output didn’t quite know whether the description fit. So Judy slowly became accustomed to hearing V talk about the people who hovered in her orbit.

The burnt-out rockstar who declared war on Us Cracks before becoming their stalwart supporter. The ex-cop who she helped to solve a rash of missing person cases while saving his nephew. The bartender at the afterlife who corralled V into racing as a revenge plot. The A.I. – of all things – that had split its personality into several disparate parts. And finally, the no-nonsense bodyguard who sought to make Yorinobu answer for killing his father. Judy could admit she was the most invested in how that might end. She’d like nothing more for Yorinobu to _pay_ for igniting all this madness. Then there were those who V seemed closer to than the rest.

Judy recognized the name Misty from their talk about Jackie. From the way V spoke about her, it was easy to see why they were friends. Kindness was a rare quality for a person to have, genuine compassion even more so. Judy was glad her output had someone like that in her life and promised to visit the woman's shop sometime when they were both free. Viktor was a name also heard very often, usually for when V needed some maintenance on her cybernetics. Judy got the impression V didn’t praise people without need, so to hear her call him the best ripper she knew meant a great deal.

However, the person V mentioned the most was Panam Palmer. At first, Judy was leery of the nomad woman. No one wanted to hear their output enthuse about another woman, especially so frequently. It also didn’t help that the nomad was a magnet for trouble and – from the way V described it – had a temper to match the flames of hell.

However, it was clear that V cared for Panam. And Judy wasn’t enough of a jealous gonk to demand she stop. That had been one of the things that had driven a wedge between her and every other person she pursued. With V, Judy was very invested in not making the same mistakes. She liked her far too much to chance it. Yet to obtain a little peace of mind, she decided to ask V about the exact nature of their relationship.

“Me and Panam?”

Judy watched anxiously as the merc tipped her head. She appeared to be deep in thought.

“Guess you could say… she’s like a tire patch. Not the same as having a new tire, but you can’t bring yourself to replace it.” V’s lips tugged at the corners. “But the patch works just as good and gets you to where you're going. Gives you a safety net you didn't realize was necessary until the hole appeared."

“Can you explain that in terms less convoluted?” Judy asked wryly. V chuckled, running a hand along her neck.

“She’s a friend I didn’t know I needed. That’s all.” She looked down at her hands, rubbing her knuckles idly. “...Reminds me a bit of Jackie. He would have liked her. Could probably talk over my head about all sorts of car shit together.”

 _Oh… So that’s it._ Judy softened, the knowledge settling the rest of her envy. She hadn’t known the man, but she felt like she did with the way V spoke of him. _He was her Evie._ The thought brought a bittersweet pang, but also acceptance. _And now Panam is too._ Judy squeezed V’s thigh in support.

“Sounds like a real good choom. I can’t wait to meet her.”

“I’m sure you’ll get the chance.” V stared at her then, scanning her features. She reached up to caress Judy’s cheek. Her touch was always hesitant at first, as if she wasn’t sure it was allowed. Judy held her hand there with her own. “It would be nice if you took a shine to her. If… something were to happen, I’d feel better knowing you had each other. Maybe she could drive you to Oregon.”

Judy stayed silent, unable to respond through the knot in her throat. But she understood the sentiment, even if she didn’t agree. Planning for contingencies was just how V worked. Some old habits never die; Judy knew that well. So when V began lingering a little longer in her visits – holding a little tighter, kissing a little deeper – Judy tried not to think of the reasons why. And if she felt a frantic edge to their lovemaking – recognized the burning in V’s veins as desperation and not lust – Judy never voiced it.

Yet as the days began to bleed into weeks, she could see the seams that held V together start to fray. And just as gradually, Judy noticed the various ways the relic affected her. The merc started walking and talking in a slightly different way, not quite noticeable at first, but still alarming. She smoked on occasion now, something Judy didn’t know how to process when she first saw it. However, the most obvious change was her wardrobe. Where before she tended towards the plain and nondescript, V began dressing like an old school Samurai devotee.

Not all the changes were awful – Judy had fond memories already with that jacket V liked so much – but it was extremely concerning. Yet when Judy looked at her output in these moments, V’s eyes never flickered with that off-putting shade of silver. They stayed the intense dark grey she was familiar with. Judy wasn’t sure how to bring it up, or even if she should. Would V want to be reminded of the construct slowly devouring her whole?

Judy ended up keeping these observations to herself. She had no intention of causing her lover distress. But she watched her carefully and hoped the construct never gained enough strength to wipe V completely. Perhaps it wouldn’t do it purposefully, but that meant very little considering the outcome. Then, on a night that should have been like any other, Judy received a call from her. But V didn’t sound like herself. Her voice was breathy; strained. It was hard to glean whether it was due to exertion or just stress. The longer she spoke, the deeper Judy’s worries grew.

_“What you said, then… ‘bout what you sensed in me.”_

_“...Death.”_

_“High time I faced it. Can’t be sure it’ll work, but I gotta try.”_

The finality to her words that sent a chill across Judy’s nape. She wanted to ask what she meant, dig for details to step the flood of dread rising in her chest. However, she trusted V. More than anyone else she had left in this festering wound of a city. Whatever V needed to do, Judy had faith she’d come out for the better.

_“Just be careful, okay? I’m here, waitin’.”_

And she did. For days she waited for a call that refused to come. Judy tried to reach V herself, but any attempts were met with silence. She visited V’s apartment to see if she was hiding out, but only saw Nibbles. The cat looked to be well-fed, but that didn’t necessarily mean anything. V told her once that a neighbor of hers usually came by to check on the animal for her. Judy peered down at Nibbles’ laundry basket and patted the cat’s head. It – or she, as V perpetually insisted – blinked at her owlishly.

“Where’s that wild owner of yours, hmm?” Judy smiled as Nibbles butted against her hand. The cat stretched, enjoying the caress of fingers along her hairless frame. Then she meowed once before leaping away. Judy stood, inspecting the apartment for any recent signs of life. The dishes by the sink were at least a week old; the trash next to it buzzed fragrantly with flies. V wasn’t the neatest person, but she’d never leave a mess like this for long. Deflated, Judy moved to leave when a call stopped her cold. It wasn’t from anyone she had in her contacts. Judy couldn’t place the avatar either. She answered, heart racing.

“Hello?”

A woman Judy didn’t recognize popped into view, her coloring dark and skin weathered by the sun. There was an intensity to her stare that reminded her of V. They both looked at people like they could see who a person was at their core.

“You Judy?” The woman's voice was sharp but not unkind. “You don’t know me, but the name’s Panam. Got to say, you’re about how I imagined from what she said. You just scream ‘Judy’ to me.”

 _Panam?_ _**She** _ _?_

“How did you get my number?” Judy took a sharp breath. She sat atop V’s bed, bouncing her leg nervously. “Are—Are you calling about…”

“V gave me it. Said I should contact you in case of an emergency.” Panam offered a tight smile, but her gaze remained somber. “She wanted me to make sure you were kept in the loop if the worst should happen.”

“Is that why you’re callin’ now?” Judy felt a preternatural stillness take hold. A ringing began in her ears. Her face felt numb suddenly. But before she could even begin to process that awful thought, Panam furiously shook her head.

“Fuck no! Shit, I’m sorry. I should have started with that.” The nomad woman winced, rubbing her neck. “Let me start again. V’s fine. A little worse for wear but that can’t be helped. She’s resting now. Damn nearly passed out soon as we got back.”

“Got back from where?" Judy pressed. Her lips thinned as Panam avoided her eyes for a moment.

“I’m not at liberty to say. Not what you want to hear, I know, but I promised V I’d leave that to her. She wants to tell you in person.”

“Which will be when?”

“Sometime soon. Probably when she can stand on her feet without collapsing. It’s been a crazy few days.” Panam appeared to inspect Judy for a time. “I will say that you don’t need to worry. V’s family, and I’ll be doing my damnedest to get her to you. Just hold on a bit, alright?”

“Yeah... Thanks, Panam.” Judy watched as the nomad woman nodded before disconnecting. A breath she didn’t realize she had been holding escaped. She fell onto V’s bed, pulse rushing alongside an overwhelming wave of relief. V was _alive_. Injured by the sounds of it, but safe all the same. Judy felt Nibbles leap atop her stomach, kneading biscuits into her shirt. She smiled tremulously and hugged the cat to her chest.

“You hear that? She’s gonna be fine, girl,” Judy whispered to the animal. “V’s comin’ home.”

Nibbles only purred in response, but she took that to mean the cat understood. Judy curled up deeper into the sheets and smiled into V’s pillow. It smelled like her; so sharp and heady that she nearly thought the woman was in the room. Try as it might, Night City hadn’t taken everything from them. And it never would have the chance to again.

* * *

_“...See you soon. Mwah!”_

Judy sent an air kiss to her phone before cutting the link. The recording stopped there, red light fading into the dark. She left the phone perched on their crate of supplies. Judy fully intending to show V when she could. It would be a nice gift. Maybe Judy would add more later, make it something _really_ worth talking about. She smiled at the idea and moved to join her lover.

V was standing within their shared tent, prepping their breakfast by the stove. Judy stared at her for a moment, taking in her lover’s frame. V looked extraordinarily comfortable in her jeans and Aldecaldos jacket. It took some adjustment to see her in nomad colors. But Judy had to admit it suited her; more than any fancy suit ever could. She was sure V felt the same. With careful hands, V tended to a covered skillet of something unknown. Judy moved closer, intending to get a peek, when V turned around.

“Finally up, huh? Thought you’d sleep all day.” The former merc smirked broadly. Her eyes gleamed with mirth, something that happened more often as time passed. Being out from beneath the city’s oppressive heel had done her a lot of good. Judy placed a hand against V’s back and kissed her cheek.

“I was doin’ something important. Preparing a little present. But if you’re not interested—”

“Now I didn’t say that,” V said hastily. “Let me start over. Good mornin’, gorgeous.”

“Hmm. That’s better.” Judy kissed her properly, savoring the feel of her lips. No matter how many times they did this, the magic never faded. She could taste the salt of her sweat and the tang of coffee beans. She smelled like the sun and the soap the caravan made themselves. Gritty, imperfect, and wonderfully real. Each time felt like a reenactment of that night they shared in the cabin with a little something extra. She felt V smile against her mouth before pulling away.

“Stop distracting me. Your breakfast is gonna get cold. All my good work goin’ to waste.”

“Maybe I was thinking something else for breakfast. That ever occur to you?” Judy bit back a laugh as V’s brow ticked up with interest. The woman cleared her throat before sweeping a hand through her hair. The stark silver strands were faded somewhat, giving way to dark roots. It would take a while to grow out, but Judy anticipated when it would clear completely. It suited her more, she thought, and matched the warmth of her grin.

“Sadly, I gotta decline. Panam wants us to do some recon around the gorge. If we’re stayin’ here a few days, might as well be safe,” V explained. To her credit, she appeared more than a tad regretful. Judy made a note to make it up to her later.

“Smart woman. But I guess that’s expected of her. You think she’ll let me root around in the basilisk when you’re done?”

“You’re still on that?” V chuckled. “Thought you gave up pestering her.”

“I just don’t see why shouldn’t let me give it a spin. Scrolling someone in there would be ground-breaking. Yet I suppose our leader has her reasons.” Judy sighed. It still felt funny saying that. She never dreamed she’d join a nomad clan of all things, but she wasn’t complaining. Besides, the Aldecaldos were the least intimidating group she’d ever met. Or maybe that was just because they were a family rather than just a cluster of badland toughs. Judy blinked as V guided her to their little table. She sat dutifully on the stool and watched as her output rustled over the stove.

“What’d you end up making anyway?” Judy asked, resting her chin atop a palm. “It doesn’t smell like scop links or eggs.”

“Nope. Saw a few things of interest during our last stop. Remember that trader by that derelict station? Well, turns out he had some ‘ganic grub for sale. Ended up snaggin’ a bunch.” V whirled on her heel before ambling towards Judy. She had a plate in both hands, a napkin covering the dish from view. “Don’t be too mad if it’s ass. You know I’m not the best at cookin’”

“I’m honestly surprised the tent is still standing,” Judy teased. But her curiosity was piqued now. She stared with interest as V set the plate down. “It’s not going to be something completely bonkers, is it? Like fried snake or a possum?”

“Panam says the former is a delicacy." V crossed her arms, lips quirking. "But no. Not any sort of meat. Don’t guarantee you’ll like it, but I gave it my best shot.”

“Promising.” With a playful shrug, Judy tore off the napkin. There, on a bed of tofu, was a colorful array of familiar vegetables. _Calabacitas._ She stared at it blankly for a while, not quite believing what she saw. With tentative fingers, she nudged the pile with her fork. “V… what…?”

“Did I get it wrong?” V frowned suddenly. She looked worried. “I asked Panam and she said this was all she could think of. Apparently, it had been one of Scorpion's favorite dishes, too. Unless I’m really off base here—”

“No. You’re not.” Judy took a pile of the vegetables and placed it in her mouth. It didn’t taste the same as her grandmother's; not quite as salty nor as tangy. Yet Judy liked it just as much. She looked up into V’s face and said, “You did perfect. I love it.”

“Yeah? I’m glad.” V sat beside her, nudging her arm. “Go on, then. Eat up. Gonna get cold if you wait too long.”

“Only if you join me. This is a family meal, you know.” Judy leaned against the woman, resting her head upon V’s shoulder. “Always wanted someone special to eat this with, and a home to share too. I never had that before, except with my grandparents. But here, with you and the Aldecaldos, I think I’ve found it.”

“Sounds like you’re starting a new phase of your life,” V commented. Her tone was markedly gentle. Judy looked at her softly, not bothering to hide the love she felt.

“Sure am. And I got a feeling it’s gonna be the best yet.”

V didn’t say anything else, but Judy felt her press a kiss to the side of her head. Together, they ate well and loved deeply. Judy wouldn’t have it any other way. She watched V contemplatively eat the mushy pile, the woman’s brow furrowing. She was cute like this and so distant from the hard persona she’d crafted to survive Night City. But then again, so was Judy.

The shadows that painted their lives had retreated beneath the ever-present sun. The endless cycle had been broken, and they could finally forge a new path just for them. Silently, Judy made a mental note to call her grandparents. This feeling in her chest was too large to keep muffled, and she was sure they would share her joy. It would be nice to introduce them to the one who made all this possible. Judy tangled her hand with Valerie’s, knowing with certainty that this was what happiness felt like.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: And then they lived happily ever after. No really! I know there's the whole 6months deal to think of but I decided to leave it open to interpretation. Maybe in this version, V gets her body back with no problems. Maybe the final scene takes place after they've found a permanent solution. It's up to you! As for me, this was an incredible journey to write and I hope you all had just as much fun. I'm honestly considering doing a lighter and softer fic for V/Judy at some point, but in the meantime, I think I'll sit back and read all the other wonderful fics people have written. Any thoughts and opinions would be greatly appreciated, thank you for reading <3 - AdraCat


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